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vi Communication Skills For Dummies Chapter 2: Knowing What You Want to Achieve...... 27 Communicating with a Clear Intention.................................. 28 Declaring your needs and preferences........................ 29 Saying what you mean................................................... 29 Passive intentions................................................ 30 Active intentions.................................................. 30 Active intentions in action.................................. 31 Meaning what you say.................................................... 33 Presenting a Compelling Case................................................. 35 Tapping into what matters to the other person......... 35 Speaking with credibility............................................... 36 Removing Potential Barriers to Achieving Your Aims......... 37 Avoiding criticising......................................................... 38 Letting go of moralising................................................. 40 Casting aside blame........................................................ 40 Chapter 3: Valuing Different Communication Styles ... 43 Developing Your Awareness of Different Communication Styles.......................................................... 43 Communicating with the loud and proud or the meek and mild................................................. 44 Giving the introvert time to think...................... 45 Letting the extrovert take the stage................... 48 Taking in the wide view or preferring detail............... 49 Picking up on the big picture.............................. 49 Focusing on the fine detail.................................. 51 Adapting Your Style for Clear Communication..................... 53 Helping others to understand what you mean........... 53 Seeing things from someone else’s point of view....... 54 Part II: Being Receptive to Others...................... 55 Chapter 4: Listening Actively for Total Understanding... 57 Listening with the Intention to Understand.......................... 58 Lowering your barriers.................................................. 60 Letting go of judgement................................................. 61 Turning off your opinions.............................................. 62 Paying attention to people’s words and behaviours..... 62 Hearing what people don’t say..................................... 63 Getting into the Other Person’s Mindset............................... 64 Asking questions to check your understanding......... 64 Paraphrasing for clarity................................................. 65
Table of Contents vii Letting People Know They’ve Been Heard............................ 67 Being open to being corrected...................................... 68 Going beneath what’s been said................................... 68 Respecting people’s feelings......................................... 69 Chapter 5: Establishing Rapport for Effective Communication................................ 71 Building Trust and Camaraderie............................................. 72 Demonstrating curiosity................................................ 72 Finding common points of interest.............................. 74 Seeking similarities......................................................... 75 Making your assumptions clear.................................... 76 Acknowledging the impact of your behaviour............ 78 Engaging with Empathy............................................................ 80 Appealing to people’s feelings...................................... 81 Standing in other people’s shoes................................. 82 Accepting others’ emotions................................ 82 Acknowledging people’s experiences................ 83 Creating Alignment to Build Rapport..................................... 84 Establishing rapport in the workplace........................ 85 Matching and mirroring posture and energy.............. 85 Listening for understanding.......................................... 86 Pacing and leading to advance the conversation....... 87 Part III: Putting Your Mind and Body into Your Message............................................. 89 Chapter 6: Choosing the Right Attitude.............. 91 Speaking from the I-Position.................................................... 92 Discovering the I-position.............................................. 93 Using I-statements.......................................................... 94 Appreciating the Power of Your Actions............................... 97 Letting go of accusations............................................... 97 Sending a message that resonates............................... 99 Connecting with Commitment.............................................. 100 Wanting to engage with other people........................ 101 Networking effectively................................................. 102 Speaking with conviction............................................. 103 Telling a compelling story........................................... 105
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Author’s Acknowledgements When th
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• Become more influential in the
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Speak Polish on the go in a variety
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