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Part I: Honing Your Communication Skills
✓ Active intentions: These intentions are clear and
engaged. They’re positive, move ideas forward and are
more likely to give you the response you desire.
Passive intentions
Passive intentions can take the following forms:
✓ A passing thought: ‘I wonder if. . .’.
✓ Conflicting thoughts: ‘I could take this approach, but if I
do then. . .’.
✓ Vague ideas: ‘Maybe I should. . .’.
✓ Uncommitted opinions: ‘Someday it may be nice to
consider. . .’.
Some speakers prefer to remain in a state of indecision, allowing
listeners to take responsibility for the words they hear. That
way they can avoid being blamed for mistakes if things go
wrong. Living in this type of passive state excuses them of all
responsibility, but also means that they miss out on receiving
the credit when things go right and don’t always get what they
want from life.
When you allow passive intentions to shape the way you
communicate, your listeners struggle to understand what
you mean and may ignore what you’re trying to say.
Active intentions
Active intentions include the following:
✓ A clearly visualised outcome: ‘I’m standing at the
podium, feeling excited and motivated. I’m smiling, my
mouth is moist and my stomach feels calm. The audience
is on its feet applauding and cheering for more. . .’.
✓ Committed thoughts: ‘I will turn in this project on Friday
at 10 a.m. so that you can . . . in time for. . .’.
✓ Robust, definite and detailed thoughts: ‘I will take
the following three steps on Monday morning to gain
approval from . . . so that we can. . .’.
✓ Clear thoughts that give you a feeling of peace and satisfaction:
‘I will find a point of agreement, no matter how
small; a common concern between you and me that. . .’.