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To my husband, David Yoon, who showed me my heart. And to my smart, beautiful daughter, Penny, who made it bigger.
C O N T E N T S Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication Epigraph The White Room SCID Row Brthdae Uish Stays the Same Life is Short Alien Invasion, Part 2 Madeline’s Diary The Welcome Committee My White Balloon Neighborhood Watch I Spy Menteuse Piéce de Rejection Survival Life is Short First Contact Night Two Night Four Night Five Night Six Night Seven First Contact, Part Two First Contact, Part Three Astronaut Ice Cream Everything’s a Risk
Page 3: This is a work of fiction. Names, c
Page 7 and 8: More Than This Nurse Evil Neighborh
Page 9 and 10: Takeoff Forgiveness Life is Short T
Page 11 and 12: THE WHITE ROOM I’VE READ MANY mor
Page 13: SCID ROW MY DISEASE IS as rare as i
Page 19 and 20: “Perfect.” My mom peers over my
Page 21 and 22: STAYS THE SAME I’M READING ON my
Page 23 and 24: ALIEN INVASION, PART 2 I’M UP TO
Page 27 and 28: THE WELCOME COMMITTEE “CARLA,”
Page 29 and 30: NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH HIS MOM’S SCHE
Page 31 and 32: I SPY HIS FAMILY CALLS him Olly. We
Page 33 and 34: The bell rings again. My mom half r
Page 35 and 36: PIÈCE DE REJECTION BACK IN MY room
Page 37 and 38: I don’t think Carla has ever said
Page 39 and 40: FIRST CONTACT TWO DAYS PASS and I
Page 41 and 42: NIGHT FOUR I CAN’T STAND it. I pe
Page 43 and 44: NIGHT SIX THE BUNDT IS lying on a w
Page 45 and 46: FIRST CONTACT, PART TWO From: Madel
Page 47 and 48: Wednesday, 8:15 P.M. FIRST CONTACT,
Page 49 and 50: Olly: curiouser and curiouser madel
Page 51 and 52: Madeline: She must love somebody. I
Page 53 and 54: Olly: no. he made me quit the mathl
Page 55 and 56:
Olly: come to the window Madeline:
Page 57 and 58:
figure is different. This time he
Page 59 and 60:
“Well, if I didn’t know before
Page 61 and 62:
TWO HOURS LATER I TRY AGAIN. “It
Page 63 and 64:
LATER STILL “PLEASE, CARLA—”
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“You trying to talk me out of it?
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OLLY THE SUNROOM IS my favorite roo
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he’s still, I can feel the need t
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DIAGNOSIS
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WONDERLAND AND IT’S THE wanting t
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MAKES YOU STRONGER THERE’S NO E-M
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NO YES MAYBE Monday, 8:09 P.M. Made
Page 80:
TIME CARLA MAKES US wait a week bef
Page 83 and 84:
FORECAST OLLY’S ON THE wall again
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There are too many inputs to the fo
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SECRETS MY CONSTANT IMING with Olly
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NUMEROLOGY NUMBER OF: minutes it to
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OLLY SAYS HE’S NOT ON the wall wh
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Olly finds himself getting angry, t
Page 96 and 97:
going to go back to school soon. He
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UPSIDE DOWN NORMAL PEOPLE PACE when
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my finger in the palm of his hand.
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FRIENDSHIP Later, 8:16 P.M. Olly: y
Page 107 and 108:
LIFE AND DEATH OLLY’S NOT ON the
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HONESTLY Later, 8:03 P.M. Olly: no
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preparing for a bout. He’s trying
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THE THIRD MADDY I’M ALMOST ASLEEP
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“That’s enough now,” my mom s
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MIRROR IMAGE I PULL THE curtains as
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MORE THAN THIS MY MOM WORDLESSLY kn
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NURSE EVIL MY NEW NURSE is an unsmi
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I stare at the note, remembering th
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HIGHER EDUCATION WITH OLLY BACK in
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ALOHA MEANS HELLO AND GOOD -BYE, PA
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LATER, 9:08 P.M. OLLY’S ALREADY W
Page 132 and 133:
THE GLASS WALL A WEEK LATER, someth
Page 134 and 135:
HALF LIFE IT’S A STRANGE thing to
Page 136 and 137:
THE FIVE SENSES HEARING The alarm
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“Maddy—” “I’ll explain ev
Page 141 and 142:
At first I’m not sure what I’m
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HAPPY ALREADY “MADS, BE SERIOUS.
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I reach over and take his hand. “
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eyes. “I must’ve missed a lot o
Page 149 and 150:
TTYL
Page 151 and 152:
THE CAROUSEL “I’VE DECIDED BAGG
Page 153 and 154:
MADELINE’S DICTIONARY prom•ise
Page 155 and 156:
And, too, the world is in me.
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REWARD IF FOUND OUR HOTEL SITS righ
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three meals and two snacks exactly
Page 161 and 162:
eathed the same filtered air for so
Page 163 and 164:
GUIDE TO HAWAIIAN REEF FISH
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I’m sure I don’t want him to. *
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ZACH BACK AT THE hotel, Olly calls
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Do you have my daughter? Is she OK?
Page 171 and 172:
THE MURPHY BED IT’S LATE AFTERNOO
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ALL THE WORDS I COME AWAKE slowly,
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MADELINE’S DICTIONARY in•fi•n
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THIS TIME OLLY SMILES. HE will not
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“Do you believe it?” he asks.
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THE END SOMEONE HAS PUT me in a hot
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My. Heart. Stops.
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RELEASED, PART ONE
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READMITTED MY MOM HAS transformed m
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RELEASED, PART TWO Wednesday, 6:56
Page 191 and 192:
Madeline: but mine isn’t
Page 193 and 194:
GEOGRAPHY I’M IN AN endless field
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LIFE IS SHORT SPOILER REVIEWS BY MA
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PRETENDING I’M STRONGER WITH each
Page 199 and 200:
I’m trying not to focus on Olly,
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FIVE SYLLABLES A MONTH LATER, just
Page 203 and 204:
HIS LAST LETTER IS HAIKU From: gene
Page 205 and 206:
FOR MY EYES ONLY From: Dr. Melissa
Page 207 and 208:
question if I have spoken after all
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IDENTITY CARLA’S BARELY IN the do
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PROOF OF LIFE ALL I HAVE to do is g
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have SCID?” Her concern morphs in
Page 215 and 216:
I should feel compassion. But that
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THE VOID A UNIVERSE THAT can wink i
Page 219 and 220:
“But my heart stopped.” “Yes.
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ONE WEEK A.D. I HAVE MY first weekl
Page 223 and 224:
THREE WEEKS A.D. MY MOM TRIES to en
Page 225 and 226:
FIVE WEEKS A.D. I ORDER REAL plants
Page 227 and 228:
MADELINE’S MOM
Page 229 and 230:
lot left.” We go back inside. I f
Page 231 and 232:
THE END IS THE BEGINNING IS THE END
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FUTURE PERFECT #2 From: Madeline F.
Page 235 and 236:
FORGIVENESS I STARE OUT the window
Page 237 and 238:
THIS LIFE EVEN AT 9 A.M. on a Satur
Page 239:
choices you make and all the choice
Page 242 and 243:
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS YOU ARE TRULY a tho
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