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He slips the phone into his pocket and looks back at the shelves. I placed the book, cover facing out, in front of all the others so he’d be sure not to miss it. He doesn’t. But instead of picking it up, he slips his hands into his pockets and stares. A few days ago, when I was communing with the orrery, I was trying so hard to find the single pivotal moment that set my life on its path. The moment that answered the question, How did I get here? But it’s never just one moment. It’s a series of them. And your life can branch out from each one in a thousand different ways. Maybe there’s a version of your life for all the
choices you make and all the choices you don’t. Maybe there’s a version of my life where I’m sick after all. A version where I die in Hawaii. Still another where my father and brother are still alive and my mother is not broken. There’s even a version of my life without Olly in it. But not this one. Olly pulls his hands out of his pockets, plucks the book from the shelf and reads. He grins and bounces lightly on the balls of his feet. I come out of hiding. I walk down the aisle toward him. The smile he gives me is worth living for. “Found your book,” he says.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, c
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C O N T E N T S Cover Title Page Co
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More Than This Nurse Evil Neighborh
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Takeoff Forgiveness Life is Short T
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THE WHITE ROOM I’VE READ MANY mor
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SCID ROW MY DISEASE IS as rare as i
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“Perfect.” My mom peers over my
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STAYS THE SAME I’M READING ON my
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ALIEN INVASION, PART 2 I’M UP TO
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THE WELCOME COMMITTEE “CARLA,”
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NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH HIS MOM’S SCHE
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I SPY HIS FAMILY CALLS him Olly. We
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The bell rings again. My mom half r
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PIÈCE DE REJECTION BACK IN MY room
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I don’t think Carla has ever said
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FIRST CONTACT TWO DAYS PASS and I
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NIGHT FOUR I CAN’T STAND it. I pe
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NIGHT SIX THE BUNDT IS lying on a w
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FIRST CONTACT, PART TWO From: Madel
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Wednesday, 8:15 P.M. FIRST CONTACT,
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Olly: curiouser and curiouser madel
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Madeline: She must love somebody. I
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Olly: no. he made me quit the mathl
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Olly: come to the window Madeline:
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figure is different. This time he
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“Well, if I didn’t know before
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TWO HOURS LATER I TRY AGAIN. “It
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LATER STILL “PLEASE, CARLA—”
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“You trying to talk me out of it?
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OLLY THE SUNROOM IS my favorite roo
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he’s still, I can feel the need t
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DIAGNOSIS
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WONDERLAND AND IT’S THE wanting t
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MAKES YOU STRONGER THERE’S NO E-M
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NO YES MAYBE Monday, 8:09 P.M. Made
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TIME CARLA MAKES US wait a week bef
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FORECAST OLLY’S ON THE wall again
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There are too many inputs to the fo
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SECRETS MY CONSTANT IMING with Olly
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NUMEROLOGY NUMBER OF: minutes it to
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OLLY SAYS HE’S NOT ON the wall wh
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Olly finds himself getting angry, t
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going to go back to school soon. He
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UPSIDE DOWN NORMAL PEOPLE PACE when
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my finger in the palm of his hand.
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FRIENDSHIP Later, 8:16 P.M. Olly: y
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LIFE AND DEATH OLLY’S NOT ON the
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HONESTLY Later, 8:03 P.M. Olly: no
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preparing for a bout. He’s trying
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THE THIRD MADDY I’M ALMOST ASLEEP
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“That’s enough now,” my mom s
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MIRROR IMAGE I PULL THE curtains as
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MORE THAN THIS MY MOM WORDLESSLY kn
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NURSE EVIL MY NEW NURSE is an unsmi
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I stare at the note, remembering th
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HIGHER EDUCATION WITH OLLY BACK in
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ALOHA MEANS HELLO AND GOOD -BYE, PA
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LATER, 9:08 P.M. OLLY’S ALREADY W
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THE GLASS WALL A WEEK LATER, someth
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HALF LIFE IT’S A STRANGE thing to
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THE FIVE SENSES HEARING The alarm
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“Maddy—” “I’ll explain ev
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At first I’m not sure what I’m
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HAPPY ALREADY “MADS, BE SERIOUS.
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I reach over and take his hand. “
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eyes. “I must’ve missed a lot o
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TTYL
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THE CAROUSEL “I’VE DECIDED BAGG
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MADELINE’S DICTIONARY prom•ise
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And, too, the world is in me.
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REWARD IF FOUND OUR HOTEL SITS righ
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three meals and two snacks exactly
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eathed the same filtered air for so
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GUIDE TO HAWAIIAN REEF FISH
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I’m sure I don’t want him to. *
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ZACH BACK AT THE hotel, Olly calls
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Do you have my daughter? Is she OK?
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THE MURPHY BED IT’S LATE AFTERNOO
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ALL THE WORDS I COME AWAKE slowly,
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MADELINE’S DICTIONARY in•fi•n
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THIS TIME OLLY SMILES. HE will not
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“Do you believe it?” he asks.
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THE END SOMEONE HAS PUT me in a hot
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My. Heart. Stops.
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RELEASED, PART ONE
Page 187 and 188: READMITTED MY MOM HAS transformed m
Page 189 and 190: RELEASED, PART TWO Wednesday, 6:56
Page 191 and 192: Madeline: but mine isn’t
Page 193 and 194: GEOGRAPHY I’M IN AN endless field
Page 195 and 196: LIFE IS SHORT SPOILER REVIEWS BY MA
Page 197 and 198: PRETENDING I’M STRONGER WITH each
Page 199 and 200: I’m trying not to focus on Olly,
Page 201 and 202: FIVE SYLLABLES A MONTH LATER, just
Page 203 and 204: HIS LAST LETTER IS HAIKU From: gene
Page 205 and 206: FOR MY EYES ONLY From: Dr. Melissa
Page 207 and 208: question if I have spoken after all
Page 209 and 210: IDENTITY CARLA’S BARELY IN the do
Page 211 and 212: PROOF OF LIFE ALL I HAVE to do is g
Page 213 and 214: have SCID?” Her concern morphs in
Page 215 and 216: I should feel compassion. But that
Page 217 and 218: THE VOID A UNIVERSE THAT can wink i
Page 219 and 220: “But my heart stopped.” “Yes.
Page 221 and 222: ONE WEEK A.D. I HAVE MY first weekl
Page 223 and 224: THREE WEEKS A.D. MY MOM TRIES to en
Page 225 and 226: FIVE WEEKS A.D. I ORDER REAL plants
Page 227 and 228: MADELINE’S MOM
Page 229 and 230: lot left.” We go back inside. I f
Page 231 and 232: THE END IS THE BEGINNING IS THE END
Page 233 and 234: FUTURE PERFECT #2 From: Madeline F.
Page 235 and 236: FORGIVENESS I STARE OUT the window
Page 237: THIS LIFE EVEN AT 9 A.M. on a Satur
Page 242 and 243: ACKNOWLEDGMENTS YOU ARE TRULY a tho
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