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THE THIRD MADDY I’M ALMOST ASLEEP that night when my door opens. My mom hovers in the doorway and I keep my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. Still, she comes in and sits on the bed next to me. For a long time she doesn’t move. Then she leans over and I’m sure she’s going to kiss my forehead like she used to when I was a little girl, but I roll away from her, still feigning sleep. I don’t know why I do it. Who is this new Maddy that is cruel for no reason? She gets up, and I wait to hear the door close before opening my eyes. A single black rubber band sits on my nightstand. She knows.
LIFE IS A GIFT THE NEXT MORNING I wake to yelling. At first I think it’s Olly’s family again, but the sound is too close. It’s my mom. I’ve never heard her voice raised before. “How could you do this? How could you let a stranger in here?” I can’t hear Carla’s response. I open the bedroom door quietly and tiptoe out onto the landing. Carla’s standing at the foot of the stairs. My mom is smaller than her in every way, but you wouldn’t know it from the way Carla’s shrinking away from her. I can’t let Carla get blamed for this. I fly down the stairs. “Did something happen? Is she sick?” Carla catches my arm, pats my face, her eyes scanning my body for signs of trouble. “She went outside. Because of him. Because of you.” She turns to face me. “She put her life at risk and she’s been lying to me for weeks.” She turns back to Carla. “You’re fired.” “No, please, Mom. It wasn’t her fault.” She cuts me off with a hand. “Not only her fault, you mean. It was your fault, too.” “I’m sorry,” I say, but it has no effect on her. “So am I. Carla, pack your things and go.” I’m desperate now. I can’t imagine my life without Carla in it. “Please, Mom, please. It won’t happen again.” “Of course it won’t.” She says it with absolute certainty. Carla starts up the stairs without a word. Mom and I spend the next half hour watching Carla pack. She has reading glasses and pens and clipboards in almost every room. I don’t bother to wipe away my tears because they just keep coming. Mom holds herself more rigid than I’ve ever seen her. When we finally get to my room I give Carla my copy of Flowers for Algernon. She looks at me and smiles. “Isn’t this book going to make me cry?” she asks. “Probably.” She pulls the book close to her bosom and holds it there and doesn’t take her eyes off me. “You be brave now, Madeline.” I run into her arms. She drops her medical bag and the book and holds me tight. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. She squeezes me even tighter. “It’s not your fault. Life is a gift. Don’t forget to live it.” Her voice is fierce.
- Page 63 and 64: LATER STILL “PLEASE, CARLA—”
- Page 65 and 66: “You trying to talk me out of it?
- Page 67 and 68: OLLY THE SUNROOM IS my favorite roo
- Page 69 and 70: he’s still, I can feel the need t
- Page 71 and 72: DIAGNOSIS
- Page 74 and 75: WONDERLAND AND IT’S THE wanting t
- Page 76 and 77: MAKES YOU STRONGER THERE’S NO E-M
- Page 78 and 79: NO YES MAYBE Monday, 8:09 P.M. Made
- Page 80: TIME CARLA MAKES US wait a week bef
- Page 83 and 84: FORECAST OLLY’S ON THE wall again
- Page 85 and 86: There are too many inputs to the fo
- Page 87 and 88: SECRETS MY CONSTANT IMING with Olly
- Page 89 and 90: NUMEROLOGY NUMBER OF: minutes it to
- Page 91 and 92: OLLY SAYS HE’S NOT ON the wall wh
- Page 93: Olly finds himself getting angry, t
- Page 96 and 97: going to go back to school soon. He
- Page 98 and 99: UPSIDE DOWN NORMAL PEOPLE PACE when
- Page 100 and 101: my finger in the palm of his hand.
- Page 102 and 103: FRIENDSHIP Later, 8:16 P.M. Olly: y
- Page 107 and 108: LIFE AND DEATH OLLY’S NOT ON the
- Page 110 and 111: HONESTLY Later, 8:03 P.M. Olly: no
- Page 112 and 113: preparing for a bout. He’s trying
- Page 116 and 117: “That’s enough now,” my mom s
- Page 118 and 119: MIRROR IMAGE I PULL THE curtains as
- Page 120 and 121: MORE THAN THIS MY MOM WORDLESSLY kn
- Page 122 and 123: NURSE EVIL MY NEW NURSE is an unsmi
- Page 124 and 125: I stare at the note, remembering th
- Page 126 and 127: HIGHER EDUCATION WITH OLLY BACK in
- Page 128 and 129: ALOHA MEANS HELLO AND GOOD -BYE, PA
- Page 130 and 131: LATER, 9:08 P.M. OLLY’S ALREADY W
- Page 132 and 133: THE GLASS WALL A WEEK LATER, someth
- Page 134 and 135: HALF LIFE IT’S A STRANGE thing to
- Page 136 and 137: THE FIVE SENSES HEARING The alarm
- Page 138 and 139: “Maddy—” “I’ll explain ev
- Page 141 and 142: At first I’m not sure what I’m
- Page 143 and 144: HAPPY ALREADY “MADS, BE SERIOUS.
- Page 145 and 146: I reach over and take his hand. “
- Page 147 and 148: eyes. “I must’ve missed a lot o
- Page 149 and 150: TTYL
- Page 151 and 152: THE CAROUSEL “I’VE DECIDED BAGG
- Page 153 and 154: MADELINE’S DICTIONARY prom•ise
- Page 155 and 156: And, too, the world is in me.
- Page 157 and 158: REWARD IF FOUND OUR HOTEL SITS righ
- Page 159 and 160: three meals and two snacks exactly
- Page 161 and 162: eathed the same filtered air for so
- Page 163 and 164: GUIDE TO HAWAIIAN REEF FISH
LIFE IS A GIFT<br />
THE NEXT MORNING I wake to yelling. At first I think it’s Olly’s family again, but the<br />
sound is too close. It’s my mom. I’ve never heard her voice raised before.<br />
“How could you do this? How could you let a stranger in here?”<br />
I can’t hear Carla’s response. I open the bedroom door quietly and tiptoe out onto the<br />
landing. Carla’s standing at the foot of the stairs. My mom is smaller than her in every<br />
way, but you wouldn’t know it from the way Carla’s shrinking away from her.<br />
I can’t let Carla get blamed for this. I fly down the stairs.<br />
“Did something happen? Is she sick?” Carla catches my arm, pats my face, her eyes<br />
scanning my body for signs of trouble.<br />
“She went outside. Because of him. Because of you.” She turns to face me. “She put her<br />
life at risk and she’s been lying to me for weeks.”<br />
She turns back to Carla. “You’re fired.”<br />
“No, please, Mom. It wasn’t her fault.”<br />
She cuts me off with a hand. “Not only her fault, you mean. It was your fault, too.”<br />
“I’m sorry,” I say, but it has no effect on her.<br />
“So am I. Carla, pack your things and go.”<br />
I’m desperate now. I can’t imagine my life without Carla in it. “Please, Mom, please. It<br />
won’t happen again.”<br />
“Of course it won’t.” She says it with absolute certainty.<br />
Carla starts up the stairs without a word.<br />
Mom and I spend the next half hour watching Carla pack. She has reading glasses and<br />
pens and clipboards in almost every room.<br />
I don’t bother to wipe away my tears because they just keep coming. Mom holds herself<br />
more rigid than I’ve ever seen her. When we finally get to my room I give Carla my copy<br />
of Flowers for Algernon. She looks at me and smiles.<br />
“Isn’t this book going to make me cry?” she asks.<br />
“Probably.”<br />
She pulls the book close to her bosom and holds it there and doesn’t take her eyes off<br />
me.<br />
“You be brave now, Madeline.” I run into her arms. She drops her medical bag and the<br />
book and holds me tight.<br />
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.<br />
She squeezes me even tighter. “It’s not your fault. Life is a gift. Don’t forget to live it.”<br />
Her voice is fierce.