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Here is my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes. —Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
THE WHITE ROOM I’VE READ MANY more books than you. It doesn’t matter how many you’ve read. I’ve read more. Believe me. I’ve had the time. In my white room, against my white walls, on my glistening white bookshelves, book spines provide the only color. The books are all brand-new hardcovers—no germy secondhand softcovers for me. They come to me from Outside, decontaminated and vacuum-sealed in plastic wrap. I would like to see the machine that does this. I imagine each book traveling on a white conveyor belt toward rectangular white stations where robotic white arms dust, scrape, spray, and otherwise sterilize it until it’s finally deemed clean enough to come to me. When a new book arrives, my first task is to remove the wrapping, a process that involves scissors and more than one broken nail. My second task is to write my name on the inside front cover. PROPERTY OF: Madeline Whittier I don’t know why I do this. There’s no one else here except my mother, who never reads, and my nurse, Carla, who has no time to read because she spends all her time watching me breathe. I rarely have visitors, and so there’s no one to lend my books to. There’s no one who needs reminding that the forgotten book on his or her shelf belongs to me. REWARD IF FOUND (Check all that apply): This is the section that takes me the longest time, and I vary it with each book. Sometimes the rewards are fanciful: • Picnic with me (Madeline) in a pollen-filled field of poppies, lilies, and endless manin-the-moon marigolds under a clear blue summer sky. • Drink tea with me (Madeline) in a lighthouse in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean in the middle of a hurricane. • Snorkel with me (Madeline) off Molokini to spot the Hawaiian state fish—the humuhumunukunukuapuaa.
Page 3 and 4: This is a work of fiction. Names, c
Page 5 and 6: C O N T E N T S Cover Title Page Co
Page 7 and 8: More Than This Nurse Evil Neighborh
Page 9: Takeoff Forgiveness Life is Short T
Page 13: SCID ROW MY DISEASE IS as rare as i
Page 19 and 20: “Perfect.” My mom peers over my
Page 21 and 22: STAYS THE SAME I’M READING ON my
Page 23 and 24: ALIEN INVASION, PART 2 I’M UP TO
Page 27 and 28: THE WELCOME COMMITTEE “CARLA,”
Page 29 and 30: NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH HIS MOM’S SCHE
Page 31 and 32: I SPY HIS FAMILY CALLS him Olly. We
Page 33 and 34: The bell rings again. My mom half r
Page 35 and 36: PIÈCE DE REJECTION BACK IN MY room
Page 37 and 38: I don’t think Carla has ever said
Page 39 and 40: FIRST CONTACT TWO DAYS PASS and I
Page 41 and 42: NIGHT FOUR I CAN’T STAND it. I pe
Page 43 and 44: NIGHT SIX THE BUNDT IS lying on a w
Page 45 and 46: FIRST CONTACT, PART TWO From: Madel
Page 47 and 48: Wednesday, 8:15 P.M. FIRST CONTACT,
Page 49 and 50: Olly: curiouser and curiouser madel
Page 51 and 52: Madeline: She must love somebody. I
Page 53 and 54: Olly: no. he made me quit the mathl
Page 55 and 56: Olly: come to the window Madeline:
Page 57 and 58: figure is different. This time he
Page 59 and 60: “Well, if I didn’t know before
Page 61 and 62:
TWO HOURS LATER I TRY AGAIN. “It
Page 63 and 64:
LATER STILL “PLEASE, CARLA—”
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“You trying to talk me out of it?
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OLLY THE SUNROOM IS my favorite roo
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he’s still, I can feel the need t
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DIAGNOSIS
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WONDERLAND AND IT’S THE wanting t
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MAKES YOU STRONGER THERE’S NO E-M
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NO YES MAYBE Monday, 8:09 P.M. Made
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TIME CARLA MAKES US wait a week bef
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FORECAST OLLY’S ON THE wall again
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There are too many inputs to the fo
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SECRETS MY CONSTANT IMING with Olly
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NUMEROLOGY NUMBER OF: minutes it to
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OLLY SAYS HE’S NOT ON the wall wh
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Olly finds himself getting angry, t
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going to go back to school soon. He
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UPSIDE DOWN NORMAL PEOPLE PACE when
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my finger in the palm of his hand.
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FRIENDSHIP Later, 8:16 P.M. Olly: y
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LIFE AND DEATH OLLY’S NOT ON the
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HONESTLY Later, 8:03 P.M. Olly: no
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preparing for a bout. He’s trying
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THE THIRD MADDY I’M ALMOST ASLEEP
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“That’s enough now,” my mom s
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MIRROR IMAGE I PULL THE curtains as
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MORE THAN THIS MY MOM WORDLESSLY kn
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NURSE EVIL MY NEW NURSE is an unsmi
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I stare at the note, remembering th
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HIGHER EDUCATION WITH OLLY BACK in
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ALOHA MEANS HELLO AND GOOD -BYE, PA
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LATER, 9:08 P.M. OLLY’S ALREADY W
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THE GLASS WALL A WEEK LATER, someth
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HALF LIFE IT’S A STRANGE thing to
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THE FIVE SENSES HEARING The alarm
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“Maddy—” “I’ll explain ev
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At first I’m not sure what I’m
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HAPPY ALREADY “MADS, BE SERIOUS.
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I reach over and take his hand. “
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eyes. “I must’ve missed a lot o
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TTYL
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THE CAROUSEL “I’VE DECIDED BAGG
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MADELINE’S DICTIONARY prom•ise
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And, too, the world is in me.
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REWARD IF FOUND OUR HOTEL SITS righ
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three meals and two snacks exactly
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eathed the same filtered air for so
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GUIDE TO HAWAIIAN REEF FISH
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I’m sure I don’t want him to. *
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ZACH BACK AT THE hotel, Olly calls
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Do you have my daughter? Is she OK?
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THE MURPHY BED IT’S LATE AFTERNOO
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ALL THE WORDS I COME AWAKE slowly,
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MADELINE’S DICTIONARY in•fi•n
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THIS TIME OLLY SMILES. HE will not
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“Do you believe it?” he asks.
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THE END SOMEONE HAS PUT me in a hot
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My. Heart. Stops.
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RELEASED, PART ONE
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READMITTED MY MOM HAS transformed m
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RELEASED, PART TWO Wednesday, 6:56
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Madeline: but mine isn’t
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GEOGRAPHY I’M IN AN endless field
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LIFE IS SHORT SPOILER REVIEWS BY MA
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PRETENDING I’M STRONGER WITH each
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I’m trying not to focus on Olly,
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FIVE SYLLABLES A MONTH LATER, just
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HIS LAST LETTER IS HAIKU From: gene
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FOR MY EYES ONLY From: Dr. Melissa
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question if I have spoken after all
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IDENTITY CARLA’S BARELY IN the do
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PROOF OF LIFE ALL I HAVE to do is g
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have SCID?” Her concern morphs in
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I should feel compassion. But that
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THE VOID A UNIVERSE THAT can wink i
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“But my heart stopped.” “Yes.
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ONE WEEK A.D. I HAVE MY first weekl
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THREE WEEKS A.D. MY MOM TRIES to en
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FIVE WEEKS A.D. I ORDER REAL plants
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MADELINE’S MOM
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lot left.” We go back inside. I f
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THE END IS THE BEGINNING IS THE END
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FUTURE PERFECT #2 From: Madeline F.
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FORGIVENESS I STARE OUT the window
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THIS LIFE EVEN AT 9 A.M. on a Satur
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choices you make and all the choice
Page 242 and 243:
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS YOU ARE TRULY a tho
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