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BEFORE DAY 1 SUNDAY, 21 OCTOBER 2012 In the UK, a child is reported missing every 3 minutes. www.missingkids.co.uk The first three hours are most critical when trying to locate a missing child. www.missingkids.com/keyfacts
RACHEL My ex-husband’s name is John. His new wife is called Katrina. She’s petite. She has a figure that can make most men drink her in with their eyes. Her deep brown hair always looks shiny and freshly coloured, like hair in magazines. She wears it in a bob, and it’s always carefully styled around her pixie face, framing a pert mouth and dark eyes. When I first met her, at a hospital function that John was hosting, months before he left us, I admired those eyes. I thought they were lively and sparky. They flashed around the room, assessing and flirting, teasing and charming. After John had gone, I thought of them as magpie’s eyes, darting and furtive, foraging for other people’s treasure to line her nest. John walked out of our family home on Boxing Day. For Christmas he’d given me an iPad and Ben a puppy. I thought the gifts were thoughtful and generous until I watched him back his car out of the driveway on Boxing Day, neatly packed bags stowed on the back seat, while the ham went cold on the dining table and Ben cried because he didn’t understand what was happening. When I finally turned and went back into the house to start my new life as a single mother, I realised that they were guiltgifts: things to fill the void he would leave in our lives. They certainly occupied us in the short term, but perhaps not as John intended. The day after Boxing Day, Ben appropriated the iPad and I spent hours standing under an umbrella in the garden, shivering, shocked, while the new Cath Kidston Christmas slippers my sister had sent me got rainsoaked and muddy, and the puppy worked relentlessly to pull up a clematis when I should have been encouraging it to pee. Katrina lured John away from us just ten months before Ben disappeared. I thought of it as a master plan that she executed: The Seduction and Theft of My Husband. I didn’t know the detail of how they kindled their affair but to me it felt like a plot from a bad medical drama. He had the real-life role of consultant paediatric surgeon; she was a newly qualified nutritionist. I imagined them meeting at a patient’s bedside, eyes locking, hands grazing, a flirtation that turned into something more serious, until she offered herself to him unconditionally, the way you can before you have a child to consider. At that time, John was obsessed with his work. It consumed him, which makes me think that she must have done most of the running, and that the package she offered him must have amounted to a seductive proposition indeed. I was bitter about it. My relationship with John had such solid and careful beginnings that I’d assumed it would last for ever. It simply never occurred to me that there could be a different kind of ending for us, which was, I now realise, extremely naive. What I hadn’t realised was that John didn’t think like me, that he didn’t view any problems we might have had as normal, surmountable. For him things boiled under the surface, until he couldn’t cope with being with me any more, and his solution was just to up and leave. When I rang my sister right after he’d gone she said, ‘Didn’t you have any idea at all?’ and her voice was strained with disbelief. ‘Are you sure you paid him enough attention?’ was her next question, as if the fault was mine and that was to be expected. I hung up the phone. My friend Laura said, ‘I thought he was a bit detached lately. I just assumed you guys were working through it.’ Laura had been my closest friend since we were at nursing college together. Like me, she hadn’t stuck with bedpans and body fluids. She’d quit and switched to journalism instead. We’d been friends for long enough that she’d witnessed the birth and growth of my relationship with John as well as its demise. She was observant and forthright. That word ‘detached’ stayed with me, because if I’m being
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Gilly Macmillan grew up in Swindon,
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Burnt Paper Sky Table of Contents A
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JIM BEFORE
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DAY 2 JIM
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JIM
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DAY 3 JIM
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DAY 5 JIM
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DAY 6 JIM
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Page 78 and 79: RACHEL
Page 80 and 81: RACHEL ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS BIBLIOGRAPH
Page 82 and 83: Author’s Note During the research
Page 84 and 85: PROLOGUE NOVEMBER 2013 - ONE YEAR A
Page 86 and 87: imaginary interview goes really wel
Page 88 and 89: But whether I’ve been awake or as
Page 92 and 93: eally honest, I hadn’t noticed it
Page 94 and 95: ‘OK,’ and he was off, careering
Page 96 and 97: as if the woodland was holding its
Page 98 and 99: appeared on the path. Our progress
Page 100 and 101: ‘That’s good news,’ she said.
Page 102 and 103: FM: Do you think that expressing fe
Page 104 and 105: JC: It was a promotion is what it w
Page 106 and 107: suspect, is not going to be an easy
Page 108 and 109: RACHEL John couldn’t stand the wa
Page 110 and 111: It was the awkward twitch of Inspec
Page 112 and 113: ‘Solid eight hours,’ I said. I
Page 114 and 115: RACHEL Inspector Miller said that b
Page 116 and 117: JIM Kenneth Steele House is where I
Page 118 and 119: had four pairs of officers in place
Page 120 and 121: at others. He was always watching m
Page 122 and 123: JIM I was quite pleased with how th
Page 124 and 125: his parents as well as his grandpar
Page 126 and 127: ‘Expertise is on our side,’ she
Page 128 and 129: RACHEL My sister Nicky was waiting
Page 130 and 131: unstoppable. She told me that the w
Page 132 and 133: the streetlights and the geometric
Page 134 and 135: JIM Addendum to DI James Clemo’s
Page 136 and 137: FM: So you recommended Emma for the
Page 138 and 139: DAY 3 TUESDAY, 23 OCTOBER 2012 Be a
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RACHEL In the car on the way to Ken
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‘If you are the person who is wit
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‘This way,’ she said. She swept
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‘It’s a soft alibi.’ Fraser w
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trace of dignity or vulnerability,
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missing”, and that everybody is l
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looking woman too: nicely dressed,
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‘Were there signs that the arm wa
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accident. But we’ll check it out
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To the insultingly practical: Don
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JIM Addendum to DI James Clemo’s
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FM: So apart from the negative pres
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they’re focused on the job? FM: Y
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DAY 4 WEDNESDAY, 24 OCTOBER 2012 Cr
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RACHEL I slept only fitfully after
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WEB PAGE - www.whereisbenedictfinch
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JIM I spoke to Emma before I left f
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say that he doesn’t play by the r
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‘Bye,’ Fount said to him. ‘Wh
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thanked her for what she did for us
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I sat on the bed for a long time, u
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JIM Fraser and I had a pre-meet bef
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‘He’s got an alibi, doesn’t h
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RACHEL Nicky phoned the police and
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door in the middle of the night. Yo
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an orange wash remained. It struck
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RACHEL When I got back inside Nicky
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JIM On the night of Wednesday, 24 O
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DAY 5 THURSDAY, 25 OCTOBER 2012 You
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RACHEL I slept the night in Ben’s
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individuals closest to Ben, and he
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‘What about their son, Charlie Bo
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He took another sheet of paper from
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more imperfect than any version of
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JC: She said she was knackered. She
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It led swiftly to the fourth state.
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Quick response appreciated, obvious
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WEB PAGE - www.whereisbenedictfinch
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I didn’t know what to say. I look
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RACHEL Zhang agreed to come and giv
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sensation. Then she spoke to him of
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abstract shapes floating within it,
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JIM I got one of the DCs to pick up
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RACHEL This time, I made no attempt
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dog, black and white like Skittle,
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FM: I’m not intending to. That’
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everything that had happened. But I
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JIM We worked closely with John Fin
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DAY 7 SATURDAY, 27 OCTOBER 2012 An
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RACHEL In the early hours of the mo
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school year, but I started to work
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tight. A hospital band was visible
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cancer himself. The whole family, w
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Another page. A different drawing:
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‘The blog.’ I was slow; I didn
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told him to fuck off. ‘Tell Frase
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‘Stop asking me to be patient. Ho
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JIM In the incident room the blinds
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swing. ‘So what are we thinking?
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‘She’s drunk?’ I asked when h
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JC: Fine. He coaxes his lips up int
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JIM It was Emma who I thought of al
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DAY 8 SUNDAY, 28 OCTOBER 2012 The P
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RACHEL When dawn came there was no
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JIM Nine o’clock Sunday morning,
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RACHEL The hospital receptionist se
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RACHEL My cab driver on the way hom
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tall bear of a man, with very dark
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‘To be honest, I assumed Nicky wo
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He actually put his hand over his h
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‘Cool,’ my avatar said. ‘New
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me wants you here to run the invest
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I behaved in an arrogant and disgus
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RACHEL I logged on to Furry Footbal
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‘I know it was him,’ I said. Th
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Her handbag was on the seat between
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so that my toes were already numb.
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‘It’s what Miss May said, about
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He sat back down. ‘Again,’ he s
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JIM Nicky Forbes was disturbed by m
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RACHEL It took me twenty-five minut
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here. And then I saw something else
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JIM Nicky Forbes’s expression was
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RACHEL They prised me up off the ca
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Operator: OK. They’re a few minut
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RECORD OF EVIDENCE: AVON AND SOMERS
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RACHEL Bristol Children’s Hospita
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‘Is the child all right?’ Mrs M
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RACHEL I approached my son’s beds
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EPILOGUE CHRISTMAS 2013 - ONE YEAR,
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RACHEL A few weeks ago, somebody as
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that he loved so much in return. Th
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JC: Yes. FM: Have you seen her sinc
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RACHEL We might never have closure,
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us that. He came to our house and w
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BIBLIOGRAPHY The following websites
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