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I am very touched by his words. They are humble, and moving. I have to make an effort not to let
this show.
FM: Is that what most keeps you awake at night, DI Clemo?
JC: All of it keeps me awake at night. It obsesses me. It replays over and over again. It won’t let me
rest. I made mistakes. I broke that family apart and I let the light go out in that boy’s eyes.
FM: Are you in contact with the family?
JC: I saw them once.
FM: What happened?
He cries again now, but this time it’s just a few tears that slip down his cheeks and dampen the
fabric of his shirt when they fall. He doesn’t speak.
FM: Will you believe me if I tell you it is possible to move forward from this? Not to forget, but to
move onwards, and make it a manageable part of your life.
JC: I don’t deserve it.
FM: You do deserve it. This doesn’t have to be the end of your career, DI Clemo. This case, and
everything that happened around it, represents a very significant time in your life, of course it does,
but it doesn’t have to define you, or break you. Don’t do that to yourself. Instead, you can think of it as
something you can learn to live with, to get past and even to build on. Benedict and his family will be
doing that too. Think for a moment of your life as a path that you’re moving forward on, not a place
you’re stuck in. You can deal with this appropriately, and respectfully, and if you do that it will be
possible to put it behind you. If you’ll trust me, I can guide you through that process.
Quite honestly, at that moment, I’m not sure if DI Jim Clemo wants to be fixed at all.
FM: Will you, Jim? Trust me?
Time hovers then, waiting, with me, for his response. This is a good man. I want him to heal.
Eventually, he exhales slowly and deliberately, but even when he opens his mouth to speak I’m still
not sure if this is going to be the beginning or the end of his attempt at recovery.
JC: I’ll try.