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‘She’s drunk?’ I asked when he reappeared. ‘She’s been drinking all afternoon as far as I can tell. You don’t want her round here.’ ‘What’s she saying?’ ‘She’s not making much sense. She says to tell you she’s sorry. That the thing is too big for her, whatever that means. That she just wanted to support you. She’s not in a fit state to be coherent. What happened?’ ‘It’s my fault,’ I said, but it was a whisper and he didn’t hear. He asked me again. ‘I don’t know if I trust her,’ I told him. ‘I don’t know who I trust.’ ‘I’ve never trusted her.’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I don’t know, I’ve just never liked her. I thought she used you.’ ‘You never told me.’ ‘You never asked.’ I was absorbing this when my phone rang. ‘Can you answer it?’ I said. It was still in his hand. The phone call was short, it furrowed his brow, but I couldn’t decipher it from hearing his responses. After he’d ended the call with a thank you, he said, ‘That was a DC Justin Woodley calling to say that DC Zhang isn’t our family liaison officer any more.’ ‘What? Why not?’ ‘He just said she’s had to step away from the post, didn’t give a specific reason, and that they’d appoint somebody new as soon as they could, Monday at the latest, but in the meantime we should speak to him. Have you met him?’ ‘I don’t think so. What could possibly have happened? Did you ask?’ ‘It’s very odd,’ said John, ‘because I thought they said she was in the office this morning.’ ‘They did.’ I curled my legs up onto the sofa, wrapped my arms around myself and felt the disappointment keenly. I minded very much that DC Zhang was gone because I’d got used to her, started to trust her, and I knew I would miss her. I didn’t like the idea of having a man as our liaison officer, however temporary. It wouldn’t be the same. ‘I really liked her,’ I said. ‘I’m sure DC Woodley or whoever they appoint will be fine.’ John wasn’t as perturbed as me; he had Katrina to lean on. He looked at his watch. ‘Look, I can stay here a bit longer, but I have to go home later tonight. You could come to our house.’ ‘I can’t leave here again. I shouldn’t have left this morning.’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Yes.’ And I knew I’d be up all night, fearing for Ben and fearing for myself too, but that I had no choice. ‘If that’s what you want.’ Later John and I warmed up some of the food that Nicky had left in the fridge: wholesome, beautifully cooked food. It should have sustained us, given us strength, but both of us could only pick at it. It was at the precise moment that we were getting up to clear the table that we heard a powerful crash, high-pitched and violent. It came from the front room and seemed to make the air cave in around us. It was the sound of shattering glass, and it made us motionless for a moment and the dog
arked and then whimpered and then all was quiet again except for the noise of footfall, somebody running away. John was up on his feet in an instant. He ran outside. I followed him, but by the time I got to the front door it was swinging wide open and he was gone. A bitter wind blew into the room, not just through the door but also through a gaping jagged hole where the front window had been. The curtains, drawn to shield us from the press, were dancing, flapping and turning in the wind like dervishes. Pieces of glass littered the floor, sharp edges everywhere, and in the centre of the room lay a brick. There were letters painted on it. It took me a moment to realise that there were two words on its side, the same two that had screamed at me from the back fence: ‘BAD’ and ‘MOTHER’. Small, printed carefully. It couldn’t be easy to paint on brick. ‘John!’ I screamed. I ran to the door. Glass crunched underfoot. From one end of the street footfall rang out, the sound echoing. I saw John and, just ahead of him, another figure, both running as fast as they could. They were moving shadows and, in an instant, they’d disappeared around the corner. The street stretched away from me, dark and wet, the glow from the streetlamps looking threedimensional in the rain, orbs of orange fluorescence. I stood in a shard of white light that spilled out of my house and fell around me, making the slick wet surface of the pavement gleam blackly. Opposite, a neighbour opened their front door just a crack. ‘Help,’ I said. ‘Help us.’ From the corner the men had disappeared around, I heard a scuffle, a thud, a cry of pain, and then I began to run too.
- Page 210 and 211: JC: She said she was knackered. She
- Page 212 and 213: It led swiftly to the fourth state.
- Page 214 and 215: Quick response appreciated, obvious
- Page 216 and 217: WEB PAGE - www.whereisbenedictfinch
- Page 218 and 219: I didn’t know what to say. I look
- Page 220 and 221: RACHEL Zhang agreed to come and giv
- Page 222 and 223: sensation. Then she spoke to him of
- Page 224 and 225: abstract shapes floating within it,
- Page 226 and 227: JIM I got one of the DCs to pick up
- Page 228 and 229: RACHEL This time, I made no attempt
- Page 230 and 231: dog, black and white like Skittle,
- Page 232 and 233: FM: I’m not intending to. That’
- Page 234 and 235: everything that had happened. But I
- Page 236 and 237: JIM We worked closely with John Fin
- Page 238 and 239: DAY 7 SATURDAY, 27 OCTOBER 2012 An
- Page 240 and 241: RACHEL In the early hours of the mo
- Page 242 and 243: school year, but I started to work
- Page 244 and 245: tight. A hospital band was visible
- Page 246 and 247: cancer himself. The whole family, w
- Page 248 and 249: Another page. A different drawing:
- Page 250 and 251: ‘The blog.’ I was slow; I didn
- Page 252 and 253: told him to fuck off. ‘Tell Frase
- Page 254 and 255: ‘Stop asking me to be patient. Ho
- Page 256 and 257: JIM In the incident room the blinds
- Page 258 and 259: swing. ‘So what are we thinking?
- Page 262 and 263: JIM Addendum to DI James Clemo’s
- Page 264 and 265: JC: Fine. He coaxes his lips up int
- Page 266 and 267: JIM It was Emma who I thought of al
- Page 268 and 269: DAY 8 SUNDAY, 28 OCTOBER 2012 The P
- Page 270 and 271: RACHEL When dawn came there was no
- Page 272 and 273: JIM Nine o’clock Sunday morning,
- Page 274 and 275: RACHEL The hospital receptionist se
- Page 276 and 277: JIM Addendum to DI James Clemo’s
- Page 278 and 279: RACHEL My cab driver on the way hom
- Page 280 and 281: tall bear of a man, with very dark
- Page 282 and 283: ‘To be honest, I assumed Nicky wo
- Page 284 and 285: He actually put his hand over his h
- Page 286 and 287: ‘Cool,’ my avatar said. ‘New
- Page 288 and 289: me wants you here to run the invest
- Page 290 and 291: I behaved in an arrogant and disgus
- Page 292 and 293: RACHEL I logged on to Furry Footbal
- Page 294 and 295: ‘I know it was him,’ I said. Th
- Page 296 and 297: Her handbag was on the seat between
- Page 298 and 299: so that my toes were already numb.
- Page 300 and 301: ‘It’s what Miss May said, about
- Page 302 and 303: He sat back down. ‘Again,’ he s
- Page 304 and 305: JIM Nicky Forbes was disturbed by m
- Page 306 and 307: RACHEL It took me twenty-five minut
- Page 308 and 309: here. And then I saw something else
arked and then whimpered and then all was quiet again except for the noise of footfall, somebody<br />
running away.<br />
John was up on his feet in an instant. He ran outside.<br />
I followed him, but by the time I got to the front door it was swinging wide open and he was gone.<br />
A bitter wind blew into the room, not just through the door but also through a gaping jagged hole<br />
where the front window had been. The curtains, drawn to shield us from the press, were dancing,<br />
flapping and turning in the wind like dervishes. Pieces of glass littered the floor, sharp edges<br />
everywhere, and in the centre of the room lay a brick.<br />
There were letters painted on it. It took me a moment to realise that there were two words on its<br />
side, the same two that had screamed at me from the back fence: ‘BAD’ and ‘MOTHER’. Small,<br />
printed carefully. It couldn’t be easy to paint on brick.<br />
‘John!’ I screamed.<br />
I ran to the door. Glass crunched underfoot. From one end of the street footfall rang out, the sound<br />
echoing. I saw John and, just ahead of him, another figure, both running as fast as they could. They<br />
were moving shadows and, in an instant, they’d disappeared around the corner.<br />
The street stretched away from me, dark and wet, the glow from the streetlamps looking threedimensional<br />
in the rain, orbs of orange fluorescence. I stood in a shard of white light that spilled out<br />
of my house and fell around me, making the slick wet surface of the pavement gleam blackly.<br />
Opposite, a neighbour opened their front door just a crack.<br />
‘Help,’ I said. ‘Help us.’<br />
From the corner the men had disappeared around, I heard a scuffle, a thud, a cry of pain, and then I<br />
began to run too.