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‘She’s drunk?’ I asked when he reappeared.<br />
‘She’s been drinking all afternoon as far as I can tell. You don’t want her round here.’<br />
‘What’s she saying?’<br />
‘She’s not making much sense. She says to tell you she’s sorry. That the thing is too big for her,<br />
whatever that means. That she just wanted to support you. She’s not in a fit state to be coherent. What<br />
happened?’<br />
‘It’s my fault,’ I said, but it was a whisper and he didn’t hear. He asked me again.<br />
‘I don’t know if I trust her,’ I told him. ‘I don’t know who I trust.’<br />
‘I’ve never trusted her.’<br />
‘What do you mean?’<br />
‘I don’t know, I’ve just never liked her. I thought she used you.’<br />
‘You never told me.’<br />
‘You never asked.’<br />
I was absorbing this when my phone rang.<br />
‘Can you answer it?’ I said. It was still in his hand.<br />
The phone call was short, it furrowed his brow, but I couldn’t decipher it from hearing his<br />
responses.<br />
After he’d ended the call with a thank you, he said, ‘That was a DC Justin Woodley calling to say<br />
that DC Zhang isn’t our family liaison officer any more.’<br />
‘What? Why not?’<br />
‘He just said she’s had to step away from the post, didn’t give a specific reason, and that they’d<br />
appoint somebody new as soon as they could, Monday at the latest, but in the meantime we should<br />
speak to him. Have you met him?’<br />
‘I don’t think so. What could possibly have happened? Did you ask?’<br />
‘It’s very odd,’ said John, ‘because I thought they said she was in the office this morning.’<br />
‘They did.’ I curled my legs up onto the sofa, wrapped my arms around myself and felt the<br />
disappointment keenly. I minded very much that DC Zhang was gone because I’d got used to her,<br />
started to trust her, and I knew I would miss her. I didn’t like the idea of having a man as our liaison<br />
officer, however temporary. It wouldn’t be the same.<br />
‘I really liked her,’ I said.<br />
‘I’m sure DC Woodley or whoever they appoint will be fine.’ John wasn’t as perturbed as me; he<br />
had Katrina to lean on. He looked at his watch.<br />
‘Look, I can stay here a bit longer, but I have to go home later tonight. You could come to our<br />
house.’<br />
‘I can’t leave here again. I shouldn’t have left this morning.’<br />
‘Are you sure?’<br />
‘Yes.’ And I knew I’d be up all night, fearing for Ben and fearing for myself too, but that I had no<br />
choice.<br />
‘If that’s what you want.’<br />
Later John and I warmed up some of the food that Nicky had left in the fridge: wholesome, beautifully<br />
cooked food. It should have sustained us, given us strength, but both of us could only pick at it.<br />
It was at the precise moment that we were getting up to clear the table that we heard a powerful<br />
crash, high-pitched and violent. It came from the front room and seemed to make the air cave in<br />
around us. It was the sound of shattering glass, and it made us motionless for a moment and the dog