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‘She’s drunk?’ I asked when he reappeared.
‘She’s been drinking all afternoon as far as I can tell. You don’t want her round here.’
‘What’s she saying?’
‘She’s not making much sense. She says to tell you she’s sorry. That the thing is too big for her,
whatever that means. That she just wanted to support you. She’s not in a fit state to be coherent. What
happened?’
‘It’s my fault,’ I said, but it was a whisper and he didn’t hear. He asked me again.
‘I don’t know if I trust her,’ I told him. ‘I don’t know who I trust.’
‘I’ve never trusted her.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t know, I’ve just never liked her. I thought she used you.’
‘You never told me.’
‘You never asked.’
I was absorbing this when my phone rang.
‘Can you answer it?’ I said. It was still in his hand.
The phone call was short, it furrowed his brow, but I couldn’t decipher it from hearing his
responses.
After he’d ended the call with a thank you, he said, ‘That was a DC Justin Woodley calling to say
that DC Zhang isn’t our family liaison officer any more.’
‘What? Why not?’
‘He just said she’s had to step away from the post, didn’t give a specific reason, and that they’d
appoint somebody new as soon as they could, Monday at the latest, but in the meantime we should
speak to him. Have you met him?’
‘I don’t think so. What could possibly have happened? Did you ask?’
‘It’s very odd,’ said John, ‘because I thought they said she was in the office this morning.’
‘They did.’ I curled my legs up onto the sofa, wrapped my arms around myself and felt the
disappointment keenly. I minded very much that DC Zhang was gone because I’d got used to her,
started to trust her, and I knew I would miss her. I didn’t like the idea of having a man as our liaison
officer, however temporary. It wouldn’t be the same.
‘I really liked her,’ I said.
‘I’m sure DC Woodley or whoever they appoint will be fine.’ John wasn’t as perturbed as me; he
had Katrina to lean on. He looked at his watch.
‘Look, I can stay here a bit longer, but I have to go home later tonight. You could come to our
house.’
‘I can’t leave here again. I shouldn’t have left this morning.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes.’ And I knew I’d be up all night, fearing for Ben and fearing for myself too, but that I had no
choice.
‘If that’s what you want.’
Later John and I warmed up some of the food that Nicky had left in the fridge: wholesome, beautifully
cooked food. It should have sustained us, given us strength, but both of us could only pick at it.
It was at the precise moment that we were getting up to clear the table that we heard a powerful
crash, high-pitched and violent. It came from the front room and seemed to make the air cave in
around us. It was the sound of shattering glass, and it made us motionless for a moment and the dog