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swing. ‘So what are we thinking?’ I said. ‘Well, Ben’s parents are thinking that this means that anybody at school might have known about the regular walks they took, and the route they took, and they’re thinking that there might be something in that.’ ‘But anybody they knew could have known about the walks. People with dogs walk them regularly and mostly to the same places. There’s only so many routes you can take in the woods.’ ‘Point taken, but we do have an obligation to look into this, and I think we should. We’re not overrun with options at this point and I am not going to miss anything, Jim. I’ll not have that on my conscience.’ ‘So what this actually means is that we can include school staff, or anybody else who might have had access to this book, in the circle of people who might have known about the dog walks. So what do we do? Re-interview school staff?’ Fraser was scribbling a note. ‘That’s exactly what we do.’ ‘Start with the teacher and teaching assistant?’ ‘Yep. And the headmaster. And don’t forget the school secretary too. They always know everything.’ ‘You know they’ve all got alibis don’t you, boss?’ ‘Yeah, yeah I do. Teacher having lunch with parents, school secretary at cinema with a friend, TA shagging his girlfriend, headmaster playing golf. That good enough recall for you? Do you think I’ve gone senile all of a sudden?’ ‘No, I just want to be sure we’re not wasting our time on this.’ ‘I’m looking for information here. I want to dig deeper with these people. Maybe the books will trigger a memory for somebody. And I need to tell you that we’ve had a turn-up on the CCTV as well,’ she added. ‘Confirmation that Ben was with his mother when they drove across the bridge on the way to the woods. They’re still scouring and cross-checking a final half-hour of footage but we should have the results later today.’ Other than that, Fraser said we still hadn’t tracked down the man Rachel said she and Ben spoke to in the woods. She had a DC looking into that, but he was banging his head against a wall because nobody had come forward. It seemed like Rachel Jenner was the only one who’d seen him. Even the regular dog walkers weren’t sure who he might be. In the office they’d started to call him Big Foot. ‘Nicky Forbes?’ I said, when we were nearly done. My thoughts had kept returning to her, I couldn’t deny it. ‘Definitely still of interest, but softly, softly.’ ‘Of course.’ ‘First job – get Bennett to look through Emma’s work, clear her desk; everything she was doing, I want to know about.’ ‘I can do that, boss.’ ‘I think it’s better if somebody else does it, don’t you, Jim?’ This time, the subtext was crystal clear. She knew. I managed to nod an affirmative and got myself out of her office as quickly as I could.
RACHEL John drove me home, and came inside with me, guiding me past the three or four journalists who remained doggedly outside my door. They should have seen me at the police station, I thought. That would have got them going. For now, they were loitering a few lampposts away from my house and they called out to us in a desultory way, trained like Pavlov’s dogs to know that neither John nor I would talk. They still frightened me, but not as much as their colleagues who were probably piecing together juicy commentary on our lives for their Sunday supplements, making me into a Comment On Society, doing it just as John and I unlocked the front door of my home and contemplated the absence that was our son. Inside, John kept shooting surreptitious glances at me, which made me feel like he was assessing me, gauging my stability. I let him go up to Ben’s room alone, and he was there for a long time. I expected he was doing what I did: touching objects, remembering, smelling bits of clothing, holding things that Ben had held. When he was down, I asked him a question that had been on my mind since Nicky had gone. ‘Why did you tell the police that Nicky was worried about me after Ben was born?’ He was surprised, but he had a quick answer. ‘Because she was. She phoned me a lot.’ ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ ‘At the time? I didn’t think you needed to know. You were so tired, and trying so hard. I thought she was being neurotic. It would have upset you.’ ‘And afterwards?’ ‘I just forgot. She stopped, and it didn’t seem important. Why are you bringing this up now? Did the police mention it?’ ‘I just wondered,’ I said, and I realised that he didn’t know yet, about Nicky, about our family. And I kept the news folded up like a piece of paper I’d tucked into my pocket, because I didn’t know how to say it, and didn’t want to admit that there was a part of me capable of distrusting my own sister. Later on, John said he should go home. I wanted him to stay, but I didn’t trust myself to admit it out loud, for fear of how it would make me sound. I was aware of my own instability by then, I could feel it seeping out into my speech and my actions, and I didn’t want that look from John again. The one that evaluated me, worked out how to handle me. He saw I didn’t want to be alone, he saw that at least. ‘Should I phone Laura?’ he asked and I said, ‘It’s OK,’ but he began to insist and I didn’t know what to do apart from to nod mutely because I couldn’t tell him about her either. About how I’d shooed her away too. It took her a while to answer the phone and when she did he immediately frowned and he left the room. I listened, my house was too small for secrecy, and heard him say, ‘Are you drunk?’ in an incredulous tone. I knew he’d have thumb and finger pressed to his temples, as if trying to hold his thoughts together, I knew he’d look as if his weariness was falling off him in pieces. His end of the conversation was mostly listening noises, murmured words of agreement or appeasement. He spoke very little; she must have been speaking a lot. ‘Rachel will understand,’ he said after a while, ‘I’m sure she will.’ And then, ‘I think it’s best if she calls you tomorrow.’
- Page 208 and 209: JIM Addendum to DI James Clemo’s
- Page 210 and 211: JC: She said she was knackered. She
- Page 212 and 213: It led swiftly to the fourth state.
- Page 214 and 215: Quick response appreciated, obvious
- Page 216 and 217: WEB PAGE - www.whereisbenedictfinch
- Page 218 and 219: I didn’t know what to say. I look
- Page 220 and 221: RACHEL Zhang agreed to come and giv
- Page 222 and 223: sensation. Then she spoke to him of
- Page 224 and 225: abstract shapes floating within it,
- Page 226 and 227: JIM I got one of the DCs to pick up
- Page 228 and 229: RACHEL This time, I made no attempt
- Page 230 and 231: dog, black and white like Skittle,
- Page 232 and 233: FM: I’m not intending to. That’
- Page 234 and 235: everything that had happened. But I
- Page 236 and 237: JIM We worked closely with John Fin
- Page 238 and 239: DAY 7 SATURDAY, 27 OCTOBER 2012 An
- Page 240 and 241: RACHEL In the early hours of the mo
- Page 242 and 243: school year, but I started to work
- Page 244 and 245: tight. A hospital band was visible
- Page 246 and 247: cancer himself. The whole family, w
- Page 248 and 249: Another page. A different drawing:
- Page 250 and 251: ‘The blog.’ I was slow; I didn
- Page 252 and 253: told him to fuck off. ‘Tell Frase
- Page 254 and 255: ‘Stop asking me to be patient. Ho
- Page 256 and 257: JIM In the incident room the blinds
- Page 260 and 261: ‘She’s drunk?’ I asked when h
- Page 262 and 263: JIM Addendum to DI James Clemo’s
- Page 264 and 265: JC: Fine. He coaxes his lips up int
- Page 266 and 267: JIM It was Emma who I thought of al
- Page 268 and 269: DAY 8 SUNDAY, 28 OCTOBER 2012 The P
- Page 270 and 271: RACHEL When dawn came there was no
- Page 272 and 273: JIM Nine o’clock Sunday morning,
- Page 274 and 275: RACHEL The hospital receptionist se
- Page 276 and 277: JIM Addendum to DI James Clemo’s
- Page 278 and 279: RACHEL My cab driver on the way hom
- Page 280 and 281: tall bear of a man, with very dark
- Page 282 and 283: ‘To be honest, I assumed Nicky wo
- Page 284 and 285: He actually put his hand over his h
- Page 286 and 287: ‘Cool,’ my avatar said. ‘New
- Page 288 and 289: me wants you here to run the invest
- Page 290 and 291: I behaved in an arrogant and disgus
- Page 292 and 293: RACHEL I logged on to Furry Footbal
- Page 294 and 295: ‘I know it was him,’ I said. Th
- Page 296 and 297: Her handbag was on the seat between
- Page 298 and 299: so that my toes were already numb.
- Page 300 and 301: ‘It’s what Miss May said, about
- Page 302 and 303: He sat back down. ‘Again,’ he s
- Page 304 and 305: JIM Nicky Forbes was disturbed by m
- Page 306 and 307: RACHEL It took me twenty-five minut
swing.<br />
‘So what are we thinking?’ I said.<br />
‘Well, Ben’s parents are thinking that this means that anybody at school might have known about the<br />
regular walks they took, and the route they took, and they’re thinking that there might be something in<br />
that.’<br />
‘But anybody they knew could have known about the walks. People with dogs walk them regularly<br />
and mostly to the same places. There’s only so many routes you can take in the woods.’<br />
‘Point taken, but we do have an obligation to look into this, and I think we should. We’re not<br />
overrun with options at this point and I am not going to miss anything, Jim. I’ll not have that on my<br />
conscience.’<br />
‘So what this actually means is that we can include school staff, or anybody else who might have<br />
had access to this book, in the circle of people who might have known about the dog walks. So what<br />
do we do? Re-interview school staff?’<br />
Fraser was scribbling a note. ‘That’s exactly what we do.’<br />
‘Start with the teacher and teaching assistant?’<br />
‘Yep. And the headmaster. And don’t forget the school secretary too. They always know<br />
everything.’<br />
‘You know they’ve all got alibis don’t you, boss?’<br />
‘Yeah, yeah I do. Teacher having lunch with parents, school secretary at cinema with a friend, TA<br />
shagging his girlfriend, headmaster playing golf. That good enough recall for you? Do you think I’ve<br />
gone senile all of a sudden?’<br />
‘No, I just want to be sure we’re not wasting our time on this.’<br />
‘I’m looking for information here. I want to dig deeper with these people. Maybe the books will<br />
trigger a memory for somebody. And I need to tell you that we’ve had a turn-up on the CCTV as well,’<br />
she added. ‘Confirmation that Ben was with his mother when they drove across the bridge on the way<br />
to the woods. They’re still scouring and cross-checking a final half-hour of footage but we should<br />
have the results later today.’<br />
Other than that, Fraser said we still hadn’t tracked down the man Rachel said she and Ben spoke to<br />
in the woods. She had a DC looking into that, but he was banging his head against a wall because<br />
nobody had come forward. It seemed like Rachel Jenner was the only one who’d seen him. Even the<br />
regular dog walkers weren’t sure who he might be. In the office they’d started to call him Big Foot.<br />
‘Nicky Forbes?’ I said, when we were nearly done. My thoughts had kept returning to her, I<br />
couldn’t deny it.<br />
‘Definitely still of interest, but softly, softly.’<br />
‘Of course.’<br />
‘First job – get Bennett to look through Emma’s work, clear her desk; everything she was doing, I<br />
want to know about.’<br />
‘I can do that, boss.’<br />
‘I think it’s better if somebody else does it, don’t you, Jim?’<br />
This time, the subtext was crystal clear. She knew. I managed to nod an affirmative and got myself<br />
out of her office as quickly as I could.