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JIM
I did go home, but the flat felt hollow and cold, and I was unsettled. I called Emma.
‘Where are you?’ I said when she answered.
‘I’m in the alleyway behind Rachel Jenner’s house.’
‘And?’
‘Well, they’ve washed most of the paint off, but you can see where the words were written in
massive letters.’
‘How are the family?’
‘Rachel’s not good, she’s really fearful. Looks ill actually. Nicky’s holding the fort, she’s tough that
one, proactive, I like her, and they’ve got Rachel’s friend Laura with them.’
‘Are you going back in with them?’
‘I don’t think I need to. They’re coping for now. I’m cold, Jim, I need to get going.’
‘Are you coming round?’
‘I’ve got to go and see John Finch, tell him about the forensics.’
‘Afterwards?’
‘I’m so tired. I might just go to mine.’
‘Please, Em. I missed you last night.’
She didn’t answer right away. The line went bad as the wind whistled into her handset and it was
hard to hear her when she said, ‘Are you sure it’s a good idea, now I’m working for you?’
‘With me, not for me, and it doesn’t have to make a difference, of course it doesn’t. Please, come
round tonight.’
‘I’ll come round after I’ve seen John Finch but I’m warning you I won’t be good for much.’
‘Are you OK?’
‘I hope I’m the right person for this job.’
‘Of course you are. Of course! Don’t start getting wound up because of what you said at the
meeting. Fraser knows you didn’t mean it.’
‘The way she looked at me…⁠’
‘Honestly, don’t worry about it. Don’t. She’ll have forgotten about it by now. I promise you. You
are the right person for this job. You’re tired tonight, that’s why it all feels bad. Just remember why
you’re doing it: it’s for the boy. Emma? Are you there?’
‘Yeah. I heard you. It’s for the boy.’
‘Are you coming round?’
‘I’ll see you in about an hour. Don’t wait up.’
After we spoke I turned on all the lights in the flat and put the heating up. Then I went to the shop
round the corner and got supplies for breakfast, and a Mars Bar, because Emma liked chocolate. I
made a coffee and waited for her to arrive. I couldn’t wait to see her, but I wanted her to be her
normal self. I wanted her to tease me, take me out of myself, and make me forget work for a while. I
wanted to hold her.