Avant-propos - Studia Moralia

76 DENNIS J. BILLY
friendship itself which, rooted in Christ’s grace, leads a person
along the way of purgation, illumination, and ultimate union
with God.
Application Two: The Three Kisses
Aelred uses the metaphor of a kiss to point out what the
process of growth in friendship precisely entails: “…in a kiss two
breaths meet, and are mingled, and are united. As a result, a certain
sweetness of mind is born, which rouses and binds together
the affection of those who embrace.” 36 He extends the
metaphor to demonstrate the different types of friendship that
can be forged: “There is, then, a corporeal kiss, a spiritual kiss,
and an intellectual kiss. The corporeal kiss is made by the impression
of the lips; the spiritual kiss by the union of spirits; the
intellectual kiss through the Spirit of God, by the infusion of
grace.” 37
Although the carnal kiss is supposed to be offered or received
for definite and worthy reasons (e.g., as a sign of reconciliation
or a mark of peace), Aelred points out that it can be
misused for perverse and lustful ends. 38 The spiritual kiss, by
way of contrast, is “…the kiss of friends who are bound by one
law of friendship; for it is not made by contact with the mouth
but by the affection of the heart.” 39 According to Aelred, Christ
is already present in this friendship. His presence is not directly
experienced, however, but mediated through another person: “I
would call this the kiss of Christ, yet he himself does not offer it
from his own mouth, but from the mouth of another, breathing
upon his lovers that most sacred affection so that there seems to
them to be, as it were, one spirit in many bodies.” 40 As the soul
becomes accustomed to this kind of friendship, it tastes the
sweetness that comes from Christ and eventually yearns for
36 DSA 2:23 [CCCM 1:307(162-65); SF 75].
37 DSA 2:24 [CCCM 1:307(165-68); SF 76].
38 DSA 2:25 [CCCM 1:307(177-85); SF 76].
39 DSA 2:26 [CCCM 1:307(185-87); SF 76].
40 DSA 2:26 [CCCM 1:307-8(190-94); SF 76].