Avant-propos - Studia Moralia

THE HEALING ROLE OF FRIENDSHIP 75
Among such, indeed, we have no doubt that friendship can spring
up and that by such it can be perfected. 34
As far as human beings are concerned, “goodness,” for Aelred,
resides in the firm resolution not to participate in wrongdoing of
any kind. It does not mean that a person is perfect or that he or
she has never committed sin or will not do so in the future. A
“good person,” for Aelred, is someone who intends not to sin and
who takes appropriate measures to keep himself or herself from
being overcome by unruly passions.
Friendships among “good persons” of this type are not rare
in this life. As Aelred reminds his readers:
… the Christian ought not to despair of acquiring any virtue since
daily the divine voice from the Gospel re-echoes: “Ask and you
shall receive….” It is no wonder, then, that pursuers of true virtue
were rare among the pagans since they did not know the Lord, the
Dispenser of virtue, of whom it is written: “The Lord of hosts, he
is the King of glory.” Indeed, through faith in him they were prepared
to die for one another – I do not say three or four, but I offer
you thousands of pairs of friends – although the ancients declared
or imagined the devotion of Pylades and Orestes a great
marvel. Were they not, according to the definition of Tullius,
strong in the virtue of true friendship, of whom it is written: “And
the multitude of believers had but one heart and one soul; neither
did anyone say that aught was his own, but all things were common
unto them?” 35
The highest expression of Christian love is to lay down one’s life
for one’s friend. Those who did so, the thousands of pairs mentioned
by Aelred in the above passage, were weak human beings
who, like everyone else in this fallen world, were hounded by
doubts and temptations of various kinds. To enter into a spiritual
friendship, one needs to be good – not perfect. It is the
34 DSA 2:43 [CCCM 1:310(283-89); SF 80].
35 DSA 1:27-28 [CCCM 1:293-94(154-66); SF 56-57]. For the theology of
the kiss in monastic theology, see LECLERCQ, The Love of Learning, 226-28.