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week 42, and the radiation had an adverse<br />
effect on Campbell’s bladder, necessitating<br />
the insertion of stents. During that procedure,<br />
it was determined there were muted cancer<br />
cells in Campbell’s bladder. “My emotions<br />
have been all over the map lately and this fear<br />
has taken hold of my heart and my life once<br />
again. I would love to say that I have it all<br />
together and all figured out and we are<br />
managing well, but that’s a lie. I am scared<br />
of what my son’s future looks like…what our<br />
future as a family looks like. In the weeks<br />
since, I have experienced a flood of emotions,<br />
but through it all, I have felt God’s presence,<br />
HIS Peace that surpasses all understanding<br />
and daily gentle reminders that HE is still on<br />
HIS throne, HE has Campbell, us, all of us, in<br />
the palm of HIS Hand. And I’m reminded of<br />
that great hymn, ‘It is Well With My Soul.’<br />
I love the words and how comforting that<br />
those words written so many years ago are<br />
still so true, so relevant to my life, to all of<br />
our lives today. I love Kristene DeMarco’s<br />
(Bethel Music) worshipful rendition of it<br />
and find myself listening to it daily.”<br />
With nine weeks left of chemo, David and<br />
Jill began to look forward to week number 54.<br />
That’s when a scan would be performed to<br />
determine if the cancer was in remission.<br />
All along, family, friends, church members,<br />
neighbors, co-workers and others pulled<br />
together to feed the Dale family literally and<br />
spiritually. The family was provided with meals,<br />
cards, ‘happies’ and more which let them<br />
know that they were not alone on their<br />
journey.<br />
“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,<br />
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”<br />
–Psalm 90:14<br />
The final week of chemo came on week<br />
51, one year into the journey that began with<br />
Campbell’s diagnosis of cancer. Jill was<br />
reflective in her CaringBridge post: “I think<br />
about how this is definitely not how I<br />
pictured my life, especially after having kids.<br />
Through this year, I am learning to not take<br />
life for granted, but to hold on to every<br />
second and to make sure that I make every<br />
day count for HIS Kingdom, as that is my<br />
sole purpose here on earth: to be in so close<br />
fellowship with HIM that HE reveals<br />
HIMSELF to me. That I am open to what<br />
HE is teaching me, showing me and that my<br />
life will be a reflection of HIM and will draw<br />
others to HIM, because that is what life is all<br />
about, living a life that glorifies HIM so that<br />
others will come to know HIM as their<br />
Savior. What a huge responsibility, but what<br />
a glorious, magnificent thing. I never would<br />
have thought cancer would teach me so<br />
much and bring me so far down that the only<br />
way to rise up is reaching and grasping HIS<br />
hand. That’s what we are doing, we grasp and<br />
we hold on as tight as we can because I never<br />
want HIM to let me go. To face a monster<br />
like cancer without a Savior, well, I cannot<br />
even imagine. People ask David and me how<br />
we do it, but I really don’t think we do it. We<br />
do the only thing we know, which is to pray<br />
and trust that HE knows better than us what<br />
is best for us and for Campbell. I don’t think<br />
God makes people get cancer. It’s easy to<br />
blame Him when something bad happens. I<br />
think because of the sinful world we live in,<br />
death, disease, immorality, etc. is a part of this<br />
world. It makes us hope for something better,<br />
a place where there will be no death, disease,<br />
sin. What a magnificent thing, I mean can<br />
you imagine living somewhere like that for all<br />
eternity? That’s why I have hope, because<br />
this life is not the end for me, for Campbell,<br />
for all those who believe. A better place is<br />
waiting and if Campbell gets there before<br />
me, well what a glorious reunion that will be.<br />
He can sit at Jesus’ feet and wait for me to<br />
join him. No, I don’t want my child to die,<br />
but no one does so I have to trust and believe<br />
that God will heal him and he will live a long,<br />
full, healthy life.”<br />
In May, the Dale family prepared<br />
themselves for twelve three-week rounds of<br />
chemo, 36 weeks with no break in between.<br />
Campbell’s cancer had returned. “People<br />
always ask how we do this day in and day out.<br />
The answer is I just don’t know. There are<br />
days that I am a blubbering mess and other<br />
days where I forget this reality and our life<br />
feels a little “normal” whatever that is. I<br />
remember vividly having a bad day almost 2<br />
weeks ago, bad enough that I was hyperventilating<br />
and I couldn’t control the tears, the<br />
anger or the emotions. Thinking about all<br />
these things and being mad at God and<br />
being mad at the world and not understanding<br />
why my son was suffering so much. David<br />
came home that night and reassured me that<br />
it was going to all be okay. He said no matter<br />
what, we were going to be okay (it’s funny<br />
how God puts two people together – we are<br />
so different, but yet our strengths and<br />
weaknesses cancel each other out…God knew<br />
that when he brought us together nine years<br />
ago). After spending much time in prayer<br />
that Tuesday night and basically crying and<br />
praying on my knees at the foot of my child’s<br />
bed (although this has become a regular scene<br />
for the past 15 months), the next morning<br />
I felt this peace wash over me and it has been<br />
with me ever since. I know that was and is<br />
God saying trust ME, love ME, look to<br />
ME…I’ve got this. I have carried you this far<br />
and will continue to carry you until the end<br />
when you join ME in Heaven. HE continues<br />
to give me, give us, a peace that surpasses all<br />
of our understanding, strength to endure and<br />
hope for tomorrow. Chemo starts tomorrow<br />
(Monday). We are ready to fight and win.<br />
We don’t know what the next 36 weeks<br />
looks like.”<br />
80 • <strong>February</strong>/<strong>March</strong> <strong>2016</strong>