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Caribbean Compass Yachting Magazine February 2017

Welcome to Caribbean Compass, the most widely-read boating publication in the Caribbean! THE MOST NEWS YOU CAN USE - feature articles on cruising destinations, regattas, environment, events...

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JAN<br />

and I (George) have been cruising<br />

the Eastern <strong>Caribbean</strong> for over<br />

four years now onboard our<br />

Lagoon 570 named Wildcat. During that time, we have<br />

enjoyed having an occasional guest or two onboard,<br />

but never more than two guests at one time. It is not<br />

that we do not have the room. The boat sleeps six. It is<br />

just that I do not know four people who want to put up<br />

with my smart-assed personality for a week. If they<br />

want to come, they should really bring their own boat.<br />

That all changed in June, 2016, when all four of our<br />

grandkids arrived at Secret Harbour, Grenada, to join<br />

us for a week onboard the Wildcat. I discovered that<br />

this new iPhone generation runs on water, pizza and<br />

bandwidth. I call this generation the iKids.<br />

Whose idea was it to have four teenagers onboard for<br />

an entire week? That is six people on Wildcat. Never<br />

before and possibly never again unless we get a bigger<br />

boat. Evidently, a 57-foot cat does not have enough<br />

room for all of these iKids and their stuff. Do we need<br />

to buy a bigger boat? It would be a lot cheaper and<br />

easier to disown some iKids.<br />

Let’s start with the luggage. Evidently, “packing light<br />

in duffel bags” means bringing everything that you<br />

own in some type of titanium case with wheels. I am<br />

currently installing luggage racks on top of the cockpit<br />

iKids Aboard!<br />

iPhones at all times in all harbors. The iKids could not<br />

fathom the concept of not being able to be online while<br />

we were sailing between islands. How can the Third<br />

World be so unfair? We are now signed up for internet<br />

in all harbors in Grenada and Carriacou on cruiser’s<br />

WiFi. For those of you who could not get on the cruiser’s<br />

WiFi network that week, I am truly sorry. You can<br />

blame the iKids for sucking up all of the bandwidth.<br />

On Day #1, we had the iKids turn off their iPhones<br />

long enough to teach them the fine art of sail folding.<br />

by George Todd<br />

Sheridan tried to Google sail folding. I told her that we<br />

have a learn-by-doing, “Outward Bound” approach to<br />

sailing, which requires that she actually put her iPhone<br />

down and pick up the sail. Isn’t sailing fun, iKids? No,<br />

they did not really think that sail folding was all that<br />

exciting. After one minute, they lost interest and were<br />

back on their iPhones attempting to outsource sail folding<br />

to someone in Mumbai for five bucks. Apparently,<br />

iKids have the attention span of a horny gnat.<br />

—Continued on next page<br />

S/V PARTNERS<br />

Above: iKids do not pack light<br />

Right: Wildcat underway<br />

hard top next to the solar panels. In fact, I might as<br />

well take the solar panels off. The iKids brought so<br />

many electrical devices that the solar panels do not<br />

come close to keeping up with the battery drain. Even<br />

the 9.2 KW generator is having trouble keeping up<br />

with electrical load requirements.<br />

The iKids’ first question when they got off of the<br />

plane was: “Where is my WiFi?” All four of them had<br />

their USA iPhones out and were impatiently looking at<br />

me. “Come on, Pappy George, give us the code. We<br />

have not texted or Tweeted or Snapchatted or<br />

Instagramed in almost three hours. Our lives are going<br />

to end if we can’t get online right now!”<br />

If you have iKids onboard, you need bandwidth and<br />

lots of it. They demanded bandwidth for all four<br />

FEBRUARY <strong>2017</strong> CARIBBEAN COMPASS PAGE 27<br />

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