phainomena

Ema Demšar
I UNDERSTAND YOU BECAUSE I
KNOW YOU
The influence of past embodied encounters on social understanding
Acknowledgments
I would like to thank Dr. Line Ryberg Ingerslev for her advice on how to
investigate the topic of this essay. Many thanks also to Dr. Urban Kordeš for
his general guidance and for introducing me to the fields of phenomenology
and enactivism.
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Imagine that you are sitting in a bar with a good friend, both of you
immersed in passionate conversation. You enthusiastically raise your voice
above hers to make an important point, but suddenly notice the waiter, who
has approached your table and is looking at you with a notepad in his hands.
You pause in the middle of the sentence to redirect your attention towards him
and, in a lower voice, order your drink. Turning back to your friend you see
her smiling at you the way she always does when you get too carried away with
your talking. You know that she is a bit annoyed, but also that she is expecting
you to continue – you smile back in apology and carry on with what you were
saying in a calmer way.
How did you know that the waiter had approached you in order to ask what
you wanted to drink? What made you recognize that your friend felt that you
should have been more considerate instead of drowning her out? How did you
understand that she was nevertheless waiting for you to carry on? These are
questions related to social understanding – the phenomenon that refers to our
ability to understand other people and know how to interact with them.