Uncle Andy's Digest- January 2017

Uncle Andy’s Digest 

LA’s One & Only True 

Habachi Experience! 

JANUARY 

2017 

EST. 1996 

Live Music Every week! 

Join us Thursday Nights 7–9pm 

Jeff Kilton 1/5 

Two Other Guys 1/12 

Peter Carriveau 1/19 

Phil N’ the Blanks 1/26 

Ladies Night Every Thursday! 

Japanese Cuisine 

40 East Ave., Lewiston • 207-795-6888 

www.sea40me.com 

207-782-7113 

Get Your FREE 

Quote Today! 

Richard Moylan 

(207) 777-0050 

791 Kittyhawk Ave. 

Unit 5, Auburn 

richardmoylan@allstate.com 

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandautobody.com 

Insurance and coverages subject to terms. qualifications and availability. Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance 

Company, Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, Illinois © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company 

Caring Family Dentists & Specialists! 

“Affordable Dental Excellence” 

488 Sabattus St., Lewiston 

207-783-8800 

AndroscogginDentalGroup.com 


...with 

Jimbo 

Jan. 2017 UncleAndys.com 1

Surprise 

Submitted by Jimbo 

In my experience most arguments are caused by the misunderstanding that you’re right. 

On a special teacher’s 

day, a kindergarten 

teacher was receiving 

gifts from her pupils. 

The florist’s son 

handed her a gift. She 

shook it, held it over 

her head, and said, “I 

bet I know what it is - 

flowers!” 

“That’s right!” said the 

boy, “but how did you 

know?” 

“Just a wild guess,” she 

said. 

The next pupil was the 

candy store owner’s 

daughter. The teacher 

held her gift overhead, 

shook it, and said, “I 

bet I can guess what it 

is - a box of candy!” 

“That’s right! But how 

did you know?” asked 

the girl. 

“Just a lucky guess,” 

said the teacher. 

The next gift was from 

the liquor store owner’s 

son. The teacher held 

the bag over her head 

and noticed that it was 

leaking. She touched a 

drop with her finger and 

tasted it. “Is it wine?” 

she asked. 

“No,” the boy replied. 

The teacher repeated 

the process, touching 

another drop to her 

tongue. “Is it champagne?” 

she asked. 

“No,” the boy replied. 

The teacher then said, 

“I give up, what is it?” 

The boy replied, “A 


puppy!” 

2 January 2017 783-7039 

...with 

Jimbo 

When people tell me “You’re going to regret that in the morning” I sleep until noon, 

because I’m a problem solver. 

T

t. I have decided that this will be a very good year. 

MODERN WOODMEN 

OF AMERICA 

JANUARY 2017 

Thursday, Jan. 5th 

Mandarin 

11:00am - 1:00pm 

750 Sabattus St. Lewiston 

Members: $5.50 

Guests: $6.50 

Saturday, Jan. 7th 

Knights of Columbus 

Bean Supper 

4:30-6:00pm 

Max-Gill Hall, Sabattus 

Members: $8 

Guests: $8 

Tuesday, Jan. 10th 

Luiggi’s 

4:00 - 7:00pm 

63 Sabattus St. Lewiston 


Guests: $5.50 


Roy’s Breakfast 

7:00-10:00am 

5 Washington St. Auburn 


Guests: $4.50 

Wednesday, Jan. 18th 

99 Restaurant 

4:00 - 7:00pm 

650 Center St. Auburn 


Guests: $9.50 


Dairy Queen 

4:00-7:00pm 

661 Minot Ave. Auburn 


Guests: $5.50 

Saturday, Jan. 28th 

Aero Air Park 

40 East Ave. Lewiston 


Guests: $8.00 

TICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RE- 

TURNS & NO REFUNDS ALLOWED 

Prices, Dates and Menu are subject 

to change. If additional info is needed, 

please call our office, please do 

not call restaurants. All activities can 

only be attended at the times listed. 

************************* 

Tickets need to be purchased at the 

Modern Woodmen District Office, 

184 Webster Street, Lewiston for all 

activities and can only be picked up the 

week prior to the activity, Mon – Thurs 9am 

- 4pm & Friday 9am - Noon; (excluding 

Holidays). Call 782-1833. 

Ten years from now make sure you can say you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it. 


...with 

Jimbo 



is published by the first 

Friday of every month by Maine 

Mountain Ocean Group, Inc. 

with offices at 9 Grove Street, 

Auburn, Maine, USA. 

Published and distributed since 

1996 throughout Central Maine 

and mailed to subscribers all over 

the Free World. Subscriptions 

are $30/year. 

UncleAndysDigest.com 

Office: 207-783-7039 

UAD Super Heroes 

SPIDY 

TIM 

HULK 

SMASH 

THOMAS 

CAPTAIN 

JIMBO 

WONDER 

WOMAN 

PAM 

BATGIRL 

TRACY 

Owning a mistake is greater than faking perfection. 

SMILE AGAIN DENTURES 

Affordable 

Options 

Poorly fitting or broken 

dentures repaired 

on-site, usually 

same-day service! 

Also see us for: 

• Full Dentures 

• Immediate Dentures 

• Partial Dentures 

• Rebases 

• Relines 

• Repairs 

• All work done in house, 

including metal frameworks 

Like our name implies, we’ll make you Smile Again! 

We now offer Citi Health Card • Most Dental Insurances Accepted 

We also accept Credit & Debit Cards • Not a MaineCare Provider 

FREE CONSULTATIONS 

SMILE AGAIN DENTURES 

Co 

C 

2 

IRONSIDES 

STEVE 

801 Webster Street, Lewiston 

514-0660 

SmileAgainDentures.com 

Or email us at: 

smileagaindentures@gmail.com 

Mike & Joe 

Adkins, 

licensed 

denturists 

While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries very hard to 

ensure the accuracy of the information in our 

client’s advertisements and our publication in 

general, we are not responsible for vendor 

availability, typographical errors, technical 

inaccuracies, product pricing errors, or 

omissions. 


4 

...with 

Jimbo 

January 2017 783-7039 

Trade your expectations for appreciation and the world changes instantly. 

UAD Proof Jan, April 2016 Page tbd

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that’s 

where crappy ideas come from. 

What Does It 

Mean? 

Submitted by Pam Ashby 

Jenna was taking an 

afternoon nap on New 

Year’s Eve before the 

festivities. After she 

woke up, she confided 

to Max, her husband, 

“I just dreamed that 

you gave me a diamond 

ring for a New 

Year’s present. What 

do you think it all 

means?” 

217 Turner Street 

Auburn 

207-783-8545 

The greatest prison people live in, is in the fear of what other people think. 

Come & Enjoy Our Everyday Specials! 

MONDAY 

75¢ Wings 

Cheeseburger Special 

$ 

5.99 

25oz domestic drafts $ 3.50 

WEDNESDAY 

Mexican Day 

3 Beef Tacos $ 4.99 

Thatcher’s Burrito $ 6.99 

$ 

5 Well Margaritas 

$ 

3 Coronas 

FRIDAY 

Fish & Chips 

$ 

8.99 

Fried Scallops 

$ 

13.99 

SUNDAY 

12” cheese pizza $ 5.99 

TUESDAY 

75¢ Wings 

Thatcher’s Burger 

BBQ sauce, cheddar, caramelized onions 

$ 

7.99 

25oz domestic drafts $ 3.50 

THURSDAY 

Stuffed Peppers $ 5.99 

Buffalo Chicken Salad $ 8.99 

$ 

4.00 microbrews 

SATURDAY 

Teriyaki tips $ 11.99 

with Mashed 

2 Hotdogs w/fries $ 4.99 

$ 

3 Honey Blondie 

$ 

5 Well Bloody Mary’s • $ 2 Bud/Bud Lt cans 

“A place where family & 

friends gather for good food 

& cheer at great prices!” 

70 Horton Street 

Lewiston 

207-784-4584 

Auburn Mall 

207-782-2135 

Mon. - Sat. 10:30am - 9pm; Sun. 11am - 5pm 

Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you. 

“Aha, you’ll know tonight,” 

answered Max 

smiling broadly. 

At midnight, as the 

New Year was chiming, 

Max approached 

Jenna and handed 

her small package. 

Delighted and excited 

she opened it quickly. 

There in her hand 

rested a book entitled: 

“The meaning of 

dreams.” 

Quick At 

Math 

Submitted by Thomas Hill 

Interviewer: “I heard 

you are extremely quick 

at math.” 

Me: “Why yes, as a 

matter of fact, I am.” 

Interviewer: “What is 

14 x 27?” 

Me: “49.” 

Interviewer: “That’s not 

even close.” 

Me: “Yeah, but it was 

fast.” 


...with 

Jimbo 


L 

Out ‘n About at 

American Legion 

Post 153 

for Kids Christmas Party 

with Santa 

A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities. 

Look your best. Feel your best! 

Aleis & Santa 

Are you sure 

you got me what I 

asked for? 

Botox & Juvederm • Wrinkle/Spot Removal • Skin Rejuvenation • I-Lipo • Hydrafacial MD 

250 Center St, Auburn • Suite 206 (above Cosmo Prof) 

207-333-3069 • yourbestskinofmaine.com 

Angel & Santa 

That annoying moment when you finally get comfortable in bed, then you 

realize you have to pee. 

Anna & Santa 

Cillian & Santa 


6 

...with 

Jimbo 


I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.

When it snows, you have two choices. Shovel or make snow angels. 

Butler Hill 

BEADS 

For All Your Beading Needs 

Find out about our NEW classes 

on Facebook under Events tab. 

BEADING 

PALOOZA! 

Feb. 12th 

3 Classes 

$50 

1022 Minot Ave. Auburn 

241-8680 • butlerhillbeadshop@gmail.com 

www.butlerhillbeads.com 

Check out our expanded 

assortment of seed beads! 

HOURS: 

Mon.-Wed. 10a-5p 

Th.-Fri. 10am-6p 

Sat. 10a-5p 

Sun. 11a-3p (Jan.-March) 

New Year 

Lecture 


On New Year’s Eve, 

Daniel was in no 

shape to drive, so he 

sensibly left his car 

in the parking lot and 

walked home. As he 

was wobbling along, 

he was stopped by a 

policeman. 

“What are you doing 

out here at four o’clock 

in the morning?” asked 

the police officer. 

D 

New Year ~ New You! 

$10 OFF 

Any color or highlight service 

with Peg or Nuria 

exp. 1/31/17 

“I’m on my way to a 

lecture,” answered 

Daniel. 

“And who on earth, 

in their right mind, is 

going to give a lecture 

at this time on New 

Year’s?” inquired 

the policeman 

sarcastically. 

“My wife,” slurred 

Daniel grimly. 

Linda, Peg, Michelle, Nuria & Lynn 

232 Center St, Auburn 

207-753-9368 • Walk-ins Welcome 

HOURS: Tues – Thurs 9am - 7pm; Fri 9am - 5pm; 

Sat 9am - 12pm 

Fitness Goal 


Thank you for 

making us #1 

for 21 years! 

Corey Johnston, 

Manager 

Since 1914 

600 Center Street, 

I feel like my body 

has gotten totally out 

of shape, so I got my 

doctor’s permission to 

join a fitness club and 

start exercising. 

The first thing I decided 

to take was an aerobics 

class for seniors. 

2016 Retailer of the Year Award 

Shaw’s Plaza, 

Auburn 

207-784-6766 

DaysJewelers.com 

I bent, twisted, gyrated, 

jumped up and 

down, and perspired 

for an hour. But, by the 

time I got my leotards 

on, the class was over. 

Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice. 


...with 

Jimbo 


Shapiro Hearing 

I stepped on a cornflake, I am officially a cereal killer. 


8 

Nancy Whittier 

Hearing Instrument 

Specialist 

Nancy grew up in Poland, 

Maine and attended the 

University of Maine for Business. 

She began her career 

in the hearing healthcare 

field in 2008 with Shapiro 

Hearing Aid Centers and her 

passion for helping people 

to hear better grew from 

there. 

On a more personal note; 

Nancy has been happily 

married to her husband, 

Michael, for over 28 years 

and is the proud grandmother 

of Aubree, Braxton 

and Karson and is anxiously 

awaiting another baby boy in 

February, 2017! 

Nancy believes in strong 

community involvement and 

is a very active member in 

her surrounding community. 

Being involved in so many 

groups and helping patients 

daily, Nancy understands 

the challenges that those 

with hearing problems face 

and is extremely passionate 

about helping them to hear 

better. 

If you’re having problems 

hearing, come meet Nancy 

for a complimentary consultation. 

She will take the time 

and listen to fully understand 

your specific concerns while 

answering any questions 

along the way! Shapiro 

Hearing is located at 410 

Main St. Lewiston. 

Call today to set up your 

complimentary consultation! 

330-2369 

See their ad on page 16. 

...with 

Jimbo 


Billion dollar idea: A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” 

Our Stars Shine Brighter 

Come see us for the rewarding 

career you’ve been looking for! 

WE’RE HIRING! 

Join our team of caring professionals! 

Apply online at JFMhomes.org or visit 800 Center St, Auburn. 

John F. Murphy Homes, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer and complies with all local, state, 

and federal guidelines in its employment practices & services provided. 

My dream job would be driving the Karma bus. 

Tw 

6 

w 

S 

Y

Here’s the thing, I’m a nice person. So if I’m not so nice to you, 

you need to ask yourself, why? 

It’s cold 

outside! 

Two Convenient Locations: 

600 Turner St., Auburn 

784-3434 

www.heidisauburn.com 

WARM UP 

with our Soup & Sandwhich Combo 

Includes soup, 

1/2 sandwich, 

choice of 

potato salad, 

coleslaw or 

chips, & pickle 

Out ‘n About at Mac’s Grill Christmas Party 

415 Philbrook Ave. 

So. Portland 

Hannaford Plaza next to TJ Maxx 

773-4800 

www.heidissouthportland.com 



Post 153 


with Santa 

Cristine & Santa 

I heard you 

were extra good 

this year. 

Drake & Santa 

Gerry Gagne, Nancy Berube, Kristine Henry, Dave Gagne 

Screen Printing COASTALTSHIRTS.COM Embroidery 

YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTION STARTS WITH US! 

Promotional Products 

Pens, Travel mugs, Key Tags, & 

Many other Specialty Items 

T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Jackets! 

Uniforms for Winter Sports 

Basketball • Hockey • Skiing 

CALL US FOR A QUOTE TODAY! 

205 Washington Street South, Auburn • 207-784-4184 • coastaltshirts.com 

Sometimes when a door closes, you want to get a hammer and nails and make 

sure it stays shut. 

Eric & Santa 

So first tell 

me what you 

know. 

Damien & Santa 


...with 

Jimbo 


Deduction 

Submitted by Steve Simard 

A little boy who wanted 

$100 very badly 

prayed and prayed for 

two weeks, but nothing 

happened. Then he 

decided to write a letter 

to God requesting 

the $100. 

When the postal authorities 

received the 

letter to “God, USA,” 

they decided to send 

it to the President. 

The president was so 

impressed, touched, 

and amused that he 

instructed his secretary 

to send the little boy a 

$5 bill. The President 

thought this would 

appear to be a lot of 

money to a little boy. 

The little boy was 

delighted with the $5, 

and immediately sat 

down to write a thank 

you note to God which 

read “Dear God, Thank 

you for sending me the 

money. However, I noticed 

that for some reason 

you had to send 

it through Washington 

D.C., and 

as usual, 

those 

crooks 

deducted 

$95.” 

You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that are not divisible by two. 

49 Spring St. Auburn • 784-2300 


Brittany Degen, Rebecca Perry-Weeks & Danielle Gagne 

William J. Rogers Post 153 

The American Legion 

71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118 • Activities - Members & Guests Welcome 

FAMILY 

Mon. - Fri. 7a-4p 

Sat. 8a-4p 

Sun. closed 

FOOTBALL SUNDAYS - Join Us for the Fun! Open @ noon 

“In every day, there 

are 1,440 minutes. 

That means we have 

1,440 daily opportunities 

to make a positive 

impact.“ 

– Les Brown 

OPEN 

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 1pm - close 

Thursday, Friday, Saturday noon to close 

Sunday noon to close 

Hall Rentals Available 

Call for more information 

207-782-1118 

KARAOKE W/ JEAN LOUIS 

Fri. & Sat. evenings 7-11pm in Jan. (except 1/14) 

JAN. 14 - LIVE MUSIC BY JESSI & THE CRUISERS 

50’S & 60’S GREATEST HITS • 8-11pm 

JAN. 15 - BREAKFAST BUFFET MEMBERS & GUESTS WELCOME 

8-10am - $ 7 per person (weather permitting) 

DO YOU HAVE AN EVENT, FUNCTION OR GATHERING COMING UP? 

Give us a call and ask us about our “Beverage Service” 


10 

...with 

Jimbo 


I’m not short. I’m a people McNugget.

p 

p 

d 

at NEXT Level we know 

YOU TOO 

can become 

GREAT 

n 

“together- we can make any business better” 

Kurk 

NEXTLevelBusinessCoaching.biz 


...with 

Jimbo 




Post 153 


with Santa 

What 

kind of cookies 

do you want me to 

leave? 

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back. 

Janeen & Santa 

I always mean what I say. I just don’t always mean to say it out loud. 

Tyler & Santa 

Forging 

Ahead 


Dear God, 

So far this year has 

been great! I haven’t 

gossiped about my 

friends. I haven’t lost 

my temper. I haven’t 

been greedy, grumpy, 

nasty, cruel, or rude. 

I’m very thankful. But 

in a few minutes, Lord, 

I’m going to get out of 

bed, and from then on 

I’m probably going to 

need a lot more help 

to get through the 

New Year. Amen. 


12 

...with 

Jimbo 


Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say. 

T 

D 

2 

Pe

Marriage is a workshop. The husband works, and the wife shops. 


Mac’s Grill 

Christmas Party 

Dave Gagne & 

Michelle Gagne 

Hey, is 

Gerry buying a 

round? 

Tetris taught me that trying to fit in will make you disappear. 

Jeff Bazinet 

& Bri Barlow 

Free 20 oz. 

coffee 

w/ purchase 

of Breakfast 

Sandwich 

every Friday 

HUNGRY? 

Let Dad do the cookin’! Take out or eat-in 

FREE 

COFFEE FRIDAY! 

Over 200 menu 

items to choose 

from! 

January 

Special: 

Buffalo Chicken Wrap 

(buffalo chicken, lettuce, tomato & 

ranch dressing) 

Only $ 5 

There’s NO PLACE like... 

Dad’s Place 

23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-5551 • DadsPlace.info 

Expires 1.31.17 

People who save their money for a rainy day end up getting soaked by the government. 

Buddy T’s 

awesome staff 

Who let this 

guy in? 

Tim Rucker & 

Buddy T himself 


...with 

Jimbo 


Not Where 

He Belongs 


An old country doctor 

went way out to the 

boondocks to deliver a 

baby. It was so far out, 

there was no electricity. 

When the doctor 

arrived, no one was 

home except for the 

laboring mother and 

her 5-year-old child. 

The doctor instructed 

the child to hold a lantern 

high so he could 

see, while he helped 

the woman deliver the 

baby. The child did so. 

The mother pushed 

and after a little while, 

the doctor lifted the 

newborn baby by the 

feet and spanked him 

on the bottom to get 

him to take his first 

breath. 

The doctor then asked 

the 5-year-old what he 

thought of the baby. 

“Spank him again,” the 

5-year-old said. “He 

shouldn’t have crawled 

in there in the first 

place.” 

The Best 

Thing 


Reporters interviewing 

a 104-year-old woman: 

“And what do you think 

is the best thing about 

being 104?” the reporter 

asked. 

She simply replied, 

“No peer pressure.” 

Enjoy lunch with us 

WELCOME TO 

Mon - Fri. 11:30 - 1:30 

I wish my wallet came with free refills. 

LUNCH SPECIALS STARTING AT $ 8 

14 Great Falls Plaza, Auburn 

(207) 784-4433 

I could lay next to you forever. Or until we decide to go eat. 

Dust of 

Snow 

The way a crow 

Shook down on me 

The dust of snow 

From a hemlock tree 

Has given my heart 

A change of mood 

And saved some part 

Of a day I had rued. 

— Robert Frost 

N 

Te 

2 

li 


14 

...with 

Jimbo 


There’s no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

Follow your heart. But take your brain with you. 


Mac’s Grill 

Christmas Party 

You’re 

Invited! 

Weekly Food Presentation 

& Demonstration with 

Nel Morin 

Richard Hodson 

Fa, la, la, la, la, 

la, la, la, la 

e 

e 

rt 

rt 

. 

t 

Nel Morin, 

Territory Manager 

207.740.3398 

lionel.morin@usfoods.com 

Learn About New Products, Ideas, Rebate Offers, & 

Much MORE! 

WHERE: Mac’s Grill • Minot Ave. Auburn 

WHEN: 9am every Wednesday in January, 

February, & March. Each presentation will last 1-2 hrs 

JANUARY AGENDA 

Jan. 4th - Desserts 

McCain Products • Menu Design Plus 

Jan. 11th - Rochester Meats 

Tyson Products 

Jan. 18th - Grande Cheeses 

The Dough Co. 

Jan. 25th - Lindsey 

Menu Profit Demo 

On Line Training 

Jeanie & Mike 

Tonight is supposed 

to be “laid 

back”. 

Dave Gagne 

“Many a small thing 

has been made large 

by the right kind of 

advertising.” 

– Mark Twain 

“I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then.” 

— Alice in Wonderland 


...with 

Jimbo 


Blind Pilot? 


I was flying from San 

Francisco to San 

Diego. By the time we 

took off, there had been 

a 45-minute delay and 

everybody on board 

was a little agitated. 

Unexpectedly, we 

stopped in Sacramento 

on the way. The flight 

attendant explained 

that there would be another 

45-minute delay, 

and if we wanted to 

get off the aircraft, we 

would re-board in 30 

minutes. 

Everybody got off the 

plane except one gentleman 

who was blind. I 

noticed him as I walked 

by and could tell he had 

flown before because 

his Seeing Eye dog lay 

quietly underneath the 

seats in front of him 

throughout the entire 

flight. I could also tell 

he had flown this very 

flight before because 

the pilot approached 

him and, calling him by 

name, said: 

“Keith, we’re in 

Sacramento for almost 

an hour. Would you like 

to get off and stretch 

your legs?” 

Keith replied, “No 

thanks, but maybe my 

dog Butch would like to 

stretch his legs.” 

All the people in the 

gate area came to a 

completely quiet standstill 

when they looked 

up and saw the pilot 

walk off the plane with 

the Seeing Eye dog! 


16 

...with 

Jimbo 


I can give you everything and still not make up for where others have failed you. 

Can You Hear Me Now? 

You will after our FREE hearing exam! 

330-2369 

Since 

1963 

Call Nancy today to schedule your 

NO COST Hearing Screening! 

410 Main St, Lewiston 

Marcel’s 

Marcel Larrivee 

Albert 

Baby, it’s 

COLD OUTSIDE! 

Ductless heat pumps are super quiet & efficient. 

Up 

to a 

$ 

750 Rebate 

from Efficiency Maine 

137 Spring St, Auburn 207-786-3246 

NadeausRefrigeration.com 

Never let your friends feel lonely. Disturb them all the time. 

Nancy Whittier 

54 Mill St, New Auburn • 783-3444 

OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30am - 5:30pm; Sat 7:30am - 2pm 

MarcelsBarberShop.com 

Thanks for the memories! 

You will be missed! 

O 

Ou

Dear naps, I’m sorry I was a jerk to you as a kid. 

r 

Out ‘n About in Colorado Springs 

A Pi Day wedding (3.14.16) 

Travis & Maegan Simpson 

You guessed it, they had pie on Pi Day! 

Out ‘n About at the Chick-a-Dee for Christmas Shenanigans 

Call for a Tour 

Rosemary Camire Knight 

207-783-0961 

Tim Rucker, Jimbo Marston, Steve Simard, Tracy Draper, 

Pam Ashby & Tom Hill 

Home for Senior Women 

41 Pleasant Street, Auburn 

www.chapmanhouse.org 

Rock bottom has built more heroes than privilege. 

Me, mature? I still laugh when the ketchup bottle farts. 

t. 

Blackie’s Farm 

Fresh Produce 

Open Year Round 

966 Minot Ave, Auburn 

207-786-0005 

6am - 8pm 

“Where you’re treated like family.” 

THOMAS BAUER, DDS, MS 

1 Willow Run, Mt. Auburn Ave, Auburn 

784-8587 or (888) 895-6801 

AndroscogginOrtho.com 

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly googling how to do stuff. 


...with 

Jimbo 

Jan. 2017 UncleAndys.com 17 

UAD Proof JULY 2015 Page 39

Larrivee Massage 


18 

Megan Baril 

Megan Baril is a licensed 

massage therapist and the 

owner of Revival Massage 

& Wellness LLC and has 

recently joined Rachel 

Larrivee, LMT at her 183 

Main Street Lewiston Studio. 

She graduated from Spa 

Tech Institute in Westbrook, 

Maine where she studied 

and trained in Therapeutic 

Massage. 

Megan specializes in 

Swedish Massage, Deep 

Tissue Massage, and Myofascial 

Release Therapy. 

Other services include Cold 

Stone Therapy, Pregnancy 

Massage, Infant Massage, 

Oncology Massage, Neuromuscular 

Massage, and 

Chair Massage. 

Megan’s focus is to 

provide a massage that’s 

tailored to your individual 

needs. Whether you are 

looking for relaxation, deep 

therapeutic work, or recovering 

from an injury or ailment. 

Incorporating massage into 

your life is a beneficial way 

to add to your whole body 

health and wellness. 

Credentials: 

Spa Tech Institute- Certification 

Therapeutic Massage 

The Federation of State 

Massage Therapy Boards- 

MBLEx 

Rachel and Megan are 

eager to welcome in the 

new year as well as old and 

new clients to their recently 

expanded studio! 

183 Main St. Lewiston 

754-7707 


...with 

Jimbo 


I thought growing old would take longer. 

Need Fabric? 

We’ve got you covered. 

Huge showroom full of fabric for Home, Auto, Marine & More! 

There is a fine line between pack rat and serious family historian. 

Catering Division 

Weddings •Reunions • Corporate Events & More 

Professional 

service at an 

affordable 

price! 

DadsPlaceCatering.com 

COUPON 

10% OFF 

any purchase 

20% OFF 

any purchase over $ 50 

not to be combined with any other coupons or discounts 

Coupon must be present at the time of purchase 

exp. 1/31/17 

# 

fabricwarehouse.com • 104 Washington St. North Auburn • 207.784.7151 

Monday - Saturday 9a - 5p • Sunday 10a - 4p 

No job too big or too small! 

Call Today for a Free Quote: 

207-345-9009 

Old people always poke me at wedding and say “You’re next.” I’m going to start 

doing that to them at funerals. 

3 

7 

* 

G

! 

Silence is the best reply to a fool. 

OUR LOW AUTO LOAN RATES CAN SAVE 

YOU A PILE OF CASH! 

Check Out 

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Great Falls 

Federal Credit Union 

www.GreatFallsfcu.com 

34 Bates Street, Lewiston • 782-7192 

760 Minot Ave., Auburn • 753-0500 

*Annual Percentage Rate. Rates beginning at/qualifications restrictions apply 

Fast, 

Friendly, 

Personal 

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all your 

financial 

needs! 

BRING IN THIS COUPON AND TAKE 

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Expires January 31, 2017 


Flagship Cinemas 

for DuBois Realty 

Customer Appreciation 

Amanda Pelletier 

with Emma & Bella 

I’ve always 

wanted my picture 

taken with a 

celebrity! 

Home is wherever my bunch of crazies are. 

Since 1953 

Open Daily 9am - 10pm 

LuiggisPizzeria.com 

Tim Rucker & 

Cara Sardella 

What a great 

movie! 

: 

SUNDAY 

Baked Ziti 

$ 

6.00 

MONDAY 

The Fergy 

sm $ 

2.99 

lg $ 

5.75 

TUESDAY 

Meatball Subs 

WEDNESDAY 

Spaghetti Dinners 

1 meatball, salad, 

sm $ 

3.35 w/ch $ 3.99 

garlic bread, drink 

lg $ 

6.50 w/ch $ 7.50 $ 

5.99 

THURSDAY 

Mini Pizza 

1 topping $ 

2.99 

2 toppings $ 

3.99 

FRIDAY 

$1.00 OFF 

Any Large Pizza 

SATURDAY 

2 Ham or Salami 

Italians 

EVERY DAY: Regular Pizza with Drink $ 5.99 

Go out all day looking fabulous and don’t see anyone I know. Go out for five minutes 

looking like crap and it’s some type of reunion. 

UAD Proof May 2016 Page TBD 

$ 

7.99 

Julie Poulin 


...with 

Jimbo 


Life Span 


On the first day, God 

created the dog and 

said: “Sit all day by 

the door of your house 

and bark at anyone 

who comes in or walks 

past. For this, I will 

give you a life span of 

twenty years.” 

The dog said, “That’s a 

long time to be barking. 

How about only 

ten years and I’ll give 

you back the other 

ten?” 

So God agreed. 

On the second day, 

God created the monkey 

and said, “Entertain 

people, do tricks, 

and make them laugh. 

For this, I’ll give you a 

twenty-year life span.” 

You only live once? False: You live every day. You only die once. 

Great Listening 

& 

Lots of Fun 

Here are recent guests from 

f 

1472 Lisbon St. 

The monkey said, 

“Monkey tricks for 

twenty years? That’s 

a pretty long time to 

perform. How about I 

give you back ten, like 

the dog did?” 

Sheriff Eric Samson 

Mary Dempsey & Alicia Hattena 

Andrew Poore, Director of 

Operations, Flagship Cinemas 

And God agreed. 

On the third day, God 

created the cow and 

said: “You must go into 

the field with the farmer 

all day long and suffer 

under the sun, have 

calves, and give milk 

to support the farmer’s 

family. For this, I will 

give you a life span of 

sixty years.” 

Darcie Beaudin & Bryan Dench, 

Skelton, Taintor & Abbott 

Paula Drouin & Zack Black, 

Greater Androscoggin 

Humane Society 

Steve Wallace, CEO YMCA 

The cow said, “That’s 

kind of a tough life you 

want me to live for 


20 

(continued on next page) 

...with 

Jimbo 


GLEASON MEDIA SERVICES 

555 Center Street, Auburn • 207-784-5868 • MainesBIGZ.com 

There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.

Thank you 

for your patience 

during our 

renovation. 


Lewiston 

207-376-3870 • chickadeelewiston.com 

You know the truth by the way it feels. 

THE NEW & IMPROVED 

CHICK-A-DEE OF LEWISTON 

Come Check Out Our Newly Remodeled Lounge Area 

New Floor, New Ceiling, New Cooler, Additional TV 

Looks Great! 

Newly paved parking lot • New Siding • New Roof 

All Dining Areas freshly painted • New Furniture Coming Soon! 

New Draft System w/ 12 Taps • Many Craft Beers to choose from 

New Entrance & Heated Waiting Area 

All Handicap Accessible 

Most Importantly? 

Same Great Food! 

Adult Case Management Services, Now Accepting Clients! 

Out ‘n About at the 

Chick-a-Dee 

for Christmas Shenanigans 

Look 

what 

I got! 

Jimbo Marston 

(continued from previous page) 

sixty years. How about 

twenty and I’ll give back 

the other forty?” 

God agreed once 

again. 

Happy 

New Year! 

Quality Care 

Auto is 

my choice for 

post season 

tune-ups! 

OUR SERVICES: 

• Case Management 

• Housing Resources 

12 Bates St. Lewiston - 795-6710 

PO Box 1319 Lewiston 04243-1319 

www.commonties.org 

L/A, we’re worth the drive! We’re only 

5 minutes from the Ramada. 

183 Lisbon St, Lisbon • 207-353-9862 • www.QCA.me 

“Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.” — Edgar Alan Poe 

On the fourth day, God 

created man and said, 

“Eat, sleep, play, marry 

and enjoy your life. For 

this, I’ll give you twenty 

years.” But man said, 

“Only twenty years? 

Could you possibly give 

me my twenty, the forty 

the cow gave back, the 

ten the monkey gave 

back, and the ten the 

dog gave back; that 

makes eighty.” 

“Okay,” said God, “You 

asked for it.” 

So that is why the first 

twenty years we eat, 

sleep, play and enjoy 

ourselves. For the next 

forty years we slave in 

the sun to support our 

family. For the next ten 

years, we do monkey 

tricks to entertain the 

grandchildren. And for 

the last ten years, we 

sit on the front porch 

and bark at everyone. 


...with 

Jimbo 






Some people look for a beautiful place, others make a place beautiful. 

Testimonial for UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST 

April Shanaman 

& Marnie DuBois 

Thank you 

DuBois Realty 

for all you give 

back! 

Debbie Bodwell & 

Mary Dempsey 

BNI, BNI, 

BNI! 

In August 2016, Uncle Andy’s Digest published an article about 

Veterans of the Armed Forces (VOTAF). The VOTAF is a motorcycle club, 

comprised primarily of Veterans of all the services and takes great pride 

in assisting Veterans in need. VOTAF conducts a myriad of events and 

presentations for our less fortunate brothers, sisters and families. 

The article provided an excellent review of the VOTAF members and 

the cause we represent. The recognition received is beyond imaginable and 

the VOTAF wants to pass along our gratitude to the entire staff of Uncle 

Andy’s Digest. Because of your efforts in publicizing our club and mission, 

the VOTAF was able to present several KIA (Killed in Action) flags to families 

in Maine. We have also heard from many individuals who mentioned and 

made note of our activities, all due to reading your article. 

The Veterans of the Armed Forces (VOTAF), Motorcycle Club, sincerely 

thank you for your support of Veterans. To say what you do for us is simple; 

It Works! 

Amanda Pelletier 

Roger Dargie, President 

Veterans of the Armed Forces, Motorcycle Club 

11 


22 

...with 

Jimbo 


“The problem with people is that they’re only human.” – Hobbes

My life is so much more interesting in my head. 

Lesson 

Learned 


t 

, 

, 

; 

We worry about tomorrow like it’s promised. 

1175 Minot Ave, Auburn • 207-783-8548 • morrisontruck.net 

In my next life I’m going to have more memory installed. 

According to a news 

report, a certain private 

school in Virginia 

recently faced a unique 

problem. A number of 

12-year-old girls were 

beginning to use lipstick, 

and put it on in the 

bathroom. 

That was fine, but after 

they put on their lipstick, 

they would press their 

lips to the mirror leaving 

dozens of little lip prints. 

Every night, the maintenance 

man would 

remove them and the 

next day, the girls would 

put them back. 

Finally, the principal decided 

to do something. 

She called all the girls 

to the bathroom and 

met them there with the 

maintenance man. 

She explained that all 

these lip prints were 

causing a major problem 

for the custodian 

who had to clean the 

mirrors every night. 

To demonstrate how 

difficult it had been to 

clean the mirrors, she 

asked the maintenance 

man to show the girls 

how much effort was 

required. 

He took out a long-handled 

mop, dipped it in 

the toilet, and cleaned 

the mirror with it. 

Since then, there have 

been no lip prints on the 

mirror. 

Sometimes there are 

teachers, and then 

sometimes there are 

Educators. 


...with 

Jimbo 






Sign on fence: As far as I’m concerned, you may cross this field for free, 

but the bull charges. 

Fred Collins & 

Fred Collins Sr. 

No one will 

notice if this one 

is gone. 


24 

Toni Ferraro 

& Nico 

“My mother’s idea of 

natural childbirth was 

giving birth without 

makeup. She was hyper-positive 

- the world 

is a wonderful place, 

rainbows and unicorns. 

If you said anything contrary 

to her, you were 

basically exiled.” 

– Robin Williams 

...with 

Jimbo 


Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. 

UAD Proof Jan., March, May, July, Sept., Nov. 2017

Join us for our 

Super Bowl Party! 

$50 pp (all inclusive) 

Tailgate Hors d'oeuvres & includes 

2 beverages of your choice! Tons of giveaways!! 

Super Bowl Sunday! 

12+ Grand Prizes! 

Everyone gets a prize! 

and MUCH, MUCH MORE!! 

No better 

place to be on 

Super Bowl 

Sunday! 

Happy 

New Year! 

2017 

1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com 


...with 

Jimbo 


Greater Lewiston/Auburn’s 22nd An 

Y 

Best Chinese Restaurant: 

CHOPSTICKS 

#1 Jeweler: 

37 Park St. Lewiston 

783-6300 

22 


784-6766 21 

Best Chiropractor: 

DR. GERALD 

NADEAU 

Best Prime Rib: 

8 


777-1104 

8 

775 Washington St. 

Auburn 

784-2110 

O 

UR 

V 

Best Auto Body Shop: 

19 

1524 Minot Ave. 

Auburn 

784-6121 

Best Hair Colorist: 

124 Ash St. Lewiston 

782-9046 

8 

Best Pizza: 

95 Lincoln St. Lewiston 

786-2020 

15 

Best Hair Salon: 

124 Ash St. Lewiston 

782-9046 

8 

O 

TES 

A 

RE 

I 

N 

Best Casual Restaurant: 

15 

Best Landscape Company: 

14 

Best Insurance Company: 

BILODEAU 

INSURANCE 

Best Sports Pub: 

10 

Best Breakfast Place: 

Rolly’s Diner 

Best Community Bank/Credit Union: 

8 

Best Convenience Store: 

120 Center St. 

Auburn 

786-0715 

78 Lisbon St. 

Lisbon 

353-4848 

541 Lisbon St. Lewiston 

784-4029 

12 


Auburn 

786-0715 

87 Mill St. 

Auburn 

753-0171 

9 

391 Main St.Lewiston 

784-5435 


8 

Auburn 

622-1609 

Best Eye Care Professionals: 

7 

Best Burger: 

Best Financial Planners: 

7 

Best Waitstaff: 

Best Heating Oil Service: 

6 

Best Boutique: 

5 

OPTOMETRIC 

ASSOCIATES 

POIRIER 

ASSOCIATES 

Dr. Pauline Beale 

Dr. Douglas Henry 

Dr. Stephen Ebersole 



BLANCHARD’S 

CASH FUEL, INC. 

Best Place to buy Carpet/Flooring: 


168 East Ave. 

Lewiston 

784-3564 

7 

786-0715 


786-0651 

6 

786-0715 

3 Conant Rd. 

Turner 

225-3588 

785 Main St. 

Lewiston 

754-3057 

782-0831 

5 


26 

...with 

Jimbo 


Market Surveys of America, an independent survey company, is proud to anno 

Best Businesses for 2016 Survey. The above winners are the result of public ballots an

d Annual Best Businesses for 2016 

Best Car Wash: 


Lewiston 

4 

333-3655 

Best Attorney: 

2 


786-0606 

Y 

Best International Restaurant: 

4 

795-6888 

40 East Ave. #2 

Lewiston 

Best Plumber: 

RAY HURILLA 

PLUMBING & HEATING 

Serving the 

Greater L/A Area 

2 

485-7357 

O 

UR 

V 

Best Bar/Lounge: 

4 

490 Pleasant St. Lewiston 

784-2331 

Best Take-Out: 


376-4295 

2 

Best Martini Bar: 

4 

490 Pleasant St. Lewiston 

784-2331 

Best Hearing Aid Center: 

2 


Lewiston 

777-1134 

O 

TES 

A 

RE 

I 

N 

Best Flower Shop: 

3 

539 Webster St. 

Lewiston 

783-8566 

Best Tax Specialist: 

ALBERT E. 384 Court St. Auburn 

BERGEN, CPA 312-5916 

1 

Best Real Estate Company: 


Auburn 

784-3800 

3 

Best Roofing Contractor: 

DONALD DARLING & 

SONS ROOFING 

576-2585 

Serving the 

Greater L/A Area 

1 

Best Seafood Restaurant: 


376-4295 3 

Best Child Care: 

1 

L/A DAYCARE CENTER 

27 Westminster St. 

Lewiston 

333-6009 

Best Dental Care Facility: 

3 

Best Buffet: 

Best Mortgage Company: 

3 

DR. JAMES P. 

HERBERT, DMD 


241-0870 


777-1551 

Best Massage Therapy: 


376-3233 

22 Strawberry Ave. 

Lewiston 

782-0670 

3 

Debbie Bodwell 

3 

Best Pool & Spa Company: 

1 

Best Day Spa: 


376-3233 

1057 Sabattus St. 

Lewiston 

786-4256 

# Indicates 

Vote online at: 

number of years 

bestofsurveys.com 

as winner. 

1 

Paid for by the Market Survey of America 

proud to announce the winners of the 22nd annual Greater Lewiston/Auburn’s 

blic ballots and internet voting for the Lewiston/Auburn small business community. 


...with 

Jimbo 


Ham and 

Mustard 


It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. 

As ham sandwiches 

go, it was perfection. 

A thick slab of smoked 

ham, a fresh hoagie 

bun, crisp lettuce and 

plenty of expensive, 

light brown, gourmet 

mustard. 

The corners of my jaw 

aching in anticipation, 

I carried it to the picnic 

table in our backyard, 

picked it up with both 

hands, and was ready 

for the first, mouthwatering 

bite. 

Suddenly I was 

stopped by my wife 

with a sense of 

urgency. 

“Hold Joshua while I 

get my sandwich,” 

she said. 

With Joshua being six 

months old, I carefully 

balanced him between 

my left elbow and 

shoulder, and began 

reaching for my perfect 

ham sandwich again, 

when I noticed a streak 

of that gourmet mustard 

on my fingers. 

I love mustard. I really 

love gourmet mustard! 

I had no napkin. 

I did what comes natural. 

I licked it off. 

It was not mustard. 

No man ever put a 

baby down faster. It 

was the first and only 

time I have sprinted 



28 

...with 

Jimbo 


The new year means nothing if you’re still in love with your comfort zone.

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since I didn’t become a better person. 

Voted Best 

Plumber 2 years 

in a row! 

2015 & 2016 

We are your 

best choice for 

a new Boiler! 





Ray Hurilla Plumbing & Heating Co. 

207-485-7357 

RayHurillaPlumbingandHeating.com 

Main St. Music Lessons 

& Instrument Repair 

L/A’S MUSIC ACCESSORY 

HEADQUARTERS! 

376-3376 

134 Main St., Auburn 

www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com 

Olivia DuBois & 

Maxwell Draper 

I got jelly, 

but I wanted 

glazed. 

Mike Albert 


with my tongue protruding. 

With a washcloth 

in each hand, I 

did the sort of routine 

shoeshine boys do, 

only I did it on my 

tongue. 

Later (after she 

stopped crying from 

laughing so hard), my 

wife said, “Now you 

know why they call that 

mustard ‘Poupon’.” 

Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a 

headache, dry throat and unaware of what year you’re in. 


...with 

Jimbo 


Out ‘n About at the 

Chick-a-Dee 

for Christmas Shenanigans 

It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings. 

Greater Androscoggin Humane Society 

Thank You, DuBois Realty Group! 

Give Where You Live 

The DuBois Realty Group is committed 

to giving back to our community, it’s 

where we live and do business. We 

donate $100 in our clients’ name after 

each closing to a charity of their choice. 

In 2016 our goal was to give away 

$10,000, and with your help we not only 

reached our goal, we exceeded it! We 

are grateful for the community’s support 

and look forward to a wonderful 2017. 

Uncle Andy’s 

Digest 

Hi Anna, 


30 

Mike Kelly 

We know how to 

have a party! 

July 2016 

AD PROOF 

Please review your 

proof carefully. It 

will run Matt as you Hird see & 

Bill Hird 

it if changes are not 

received by 

June 22nd 

Thank you! 

Jimbo 

office 783-7039 

fax 777-3898 

ads@UncleAndys.com 

Lorrie Champagne 

& her princess 

...with 

Jimbo 


NOW SERVING LEWISTON/AUBURN AREA 

Heating Oil • K-1 Kerosene • Bulk Diesel 

Gun Background 

Checks/Transfers 

Fire Arms Transfers 

$25 per transfer 

UAD Proof July 2016 Page tbd 

Only 25 Minutes from Auburn & Gray 

1190 Main Street, Oxford 

207-743-0709 or 

Toll free: 1-877-743-0709 

Open Mon-Sat. 9am - 5pm 

Federal 

Firearms 

License 

You are never too old to reinvent yourself. 

207-344-3230 

195 Center St. Auburn • DuBoisRealtyGroup.net 

Locally Owned 

& Operated 

Competitive 

Pricing! 

Now Accepting 

New Customers 

10,000 Sq. ft. of Retail Space all 

under one roof! 

• Many One-of-a-Kind Items 

• Always Buying Gold, Silver, Coins & Guns 

• Inventory Always Changing 

C 

S

The secret of getting ahead, is getting started. 

Smuggling 


d 

r 

e. 

ly 

e 

rt 

. 

t 

l 

s 

I give up freely what is no longer serving me. I release it to create space for 

what inspires me. 

SABATTUS MAIN STREET MARKET 

For take-out, groceries, fresh meats, cold beer & more! 

2 Main Street, Sabattus 375-8502 

Check out our daily specials! 

OPEN 7 Days 6am - 8pm 

A man on a bike, 

carrying two saddlebags, 

was stopped by 

a guard while crossing 

the US-Mexican 

border. 

“What’s in the bags?” 

demanded the guard. 

“Sand,” the cyclist 

answered. 

“Take them off. I need 

to take a look,” retorted 

the guard. 

The guard emptied the 

bags and found out 

they contained nothing 

but sand. The man 

reloaded his bags and 

continued across the 

border. A week later, 

the same man was 

crossing again with 

two more bags. The 

guard demanded to 

see them, and again 

they contained nothing 

but sand. This continued 

every week for 

six months, until one 

day the cyclist failed 

to appear. A few days 

later, that same guard 

ran into the cyclist in 

Tijuana. 

“Hey, where have 

you been?” the guard 

inquired. “You sure 

had us wondering. We 

knew you were smuggling 

something across 

the border. So tell me 

and I won’t say a word. 

What was it?” 

May not be combined with daily specials. Exp 1.31.17 

The man smiled broadly 

and told him the 

truth, “Bicycles!” 

“Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul.” 

— Walt Whitman 


...with 

Jimbo 


CO 

CALL THE PROS 

FIRE SPRINKLERS SAVE LIVES! 

OFFERING 

Residential 

Commercial 

CleanOuts 

Roll Offs 

844-ME-TRASH 

844-638-7274 

Cody Childs, Owner 

Alternative Sprinkler 

Fire Protection 

Installation • Service • Inspections 

Dan Banker • 207-838-8930 

The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service! 

SERVING 

Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland 

Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples 

9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com 

This & A Whole Lot More! 

E 

Walk-ins 

Welcome! 

Hair Cuts starting at $ 12 

120 Center St. Auburn • 241-8815 

Next to VIP Eyes 

Milwaukee Power Tools Nuts, bolts, fasteners We make keys! 

61 Mill Street, New Auburn 

207-783-6927 • MySelco.com 

Mon-Fri 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4 

C 

Quality is Our Business 

786-4414 

LEWISTON, MAINE 

COMPLETE INTERIOR/EXTERIOR REMODELING 

Insured & References 

Straightlineroof.com 

FLOODED BASEMENT? 

EMERGENCY RESPONSE 

COMMERCIAL CLEANING 

• Water Damage 

• Fire/Soot/Smoke Damage 

• Mold Remediation 

• Odor Removal 

• Carpets - Commercial & Residential 

• Hard Surface Floors 

• Tile and Grout 

• Post Construction Cleaning 

Con 

smfireandwater.com • smcarpetcleaning.com 

29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn • (800) 244-7630 • 539-4452 

Kn 


32 

...with 

Jimbo 


Do whatever floats your boat, as long as it doesn’t sink mine.

CALL THE PROS 

H 

74 

25 Fern Street, Turner 

207-225-5012 

Rachel Larrivee Massage Therapy 

Also offering on-site 

services for the 

workplace 

e! 

m 

Winter is Here... and so are we. 

Free 

Estimates 

Commercial Cleaning, LLC 

478 Sabattus St., Lewiston • 786-4052 

Commercial • Residential • Industrial 

Walk-ins Welcome 

We’ve Grown! 

Introducing Megan Baril, LMT 

LaBonte Financial Services, Inc. 

Accounting & 

Financial Planning 

Specialist 

Bert LaBonte, CPA, MBA, MST 

155 Center Street, Auburn 

782-9500 • bglcpa@aol.com 

LYAF 

183 Main Street, Lewiston 

754.7707 • LewistonMassage.com 

Over 

30 years 

Experience 

Over 30years 

Experience! 

$ 

10 up to 

48 cards 

Games pay 

$ 

50- $ 100 

Connie Norton 

Color • Highlights • Perms • Razor Cuts 

• Flat Tops • Fades • Regular Cuts 

Senior Citizens Welcome 

207-784-2545 

26 Nickerson Ave, Auburn 

(behind Great Falls Credit Union) 

Join us for some AFFORDABLE FUN! 

Sunday @ 6pm •Thursday & Friday @ 6:30 

Pleasant Street Bingo Hall 

475 Pleasant St., Lewiston • 777-1394 

CALL US TODAY! 

CORPORATE INTELLIGENCE 

207-783-0000 

KnowWhoYouHire.com 

“The intelligent choice 

for today’s world.” 

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, 

then pee on it and walk away. 

Medical 

Cannabis Cards 

ONLY $ 100 

KORNERSTONE SERVICES 

CALL TODAY FOR YOUR APPOINTMENT 

753-1800 


...with 

Jimbo 


Out ‘n About in 

Colorado Springs 


makes headlines... 

10 months later. 

Siri, bring me a delicious cheesecake and tell my food journal to log it as a veggie burger. 

START YOUR NEW YEAR RIGHT 

with a Financial Wellness Check-up at KeyBank 

Call or Visit your local KeyBank Branch for more info: 

Alice Mogensen, Branch Manager 

12 East Avenue, Lewiston 

207-753-6488 

1 

Q 

The groom and bride, 

Travis & Maegan 

Simpson 

Trevis Knapp, Branch Manager 


207-786-5412 

See us online at www.Key.com 

Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor. 

Dana Morrell with her 

daughter, Jordan 

Honey, I heard 

toilet water makes 

a great camera lens 

cleaner... 

Out ‘n About at JKA Maine Karate Academy Competition 

Team with Uncle Andy’s Digest in the Bronx for the NY Shotokan Karate-Do International & 

Goodwill Tournament. They brought home 5 golds, 3 silvers and 2 bronze. 

L 

F 


34 

Grandparents of the bride, 

Roger & Pauline 

Dupre 

...with 

Jimbo 


Back left to right: Darryl Farris, Bruce Luong, Yuki Torres, Sensei Ferdinand Torres, 

Rosh Torres, Jen Madore, Sensei Khim Torres, Michael Umayam, Rich Boucher 

Kneeling: Ariana Touchette-Ruiz, Ben Farris, Mika Torres 

The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday.

er. 

There are secret opportunities hidden inside every failure. 

10% OFF Your First Snow Plowing 

Commercial & Residential 

SNOW PLOWING • SANDING & SALTING 

FREE 

QUOTES 

SNOW REMOVAL 

Morin 

excavating 

Inc. 

Andy Morin 

207.784.8293 

cell: 207.576.4714 

amorinexc@roadrunner.com 

Giving Back to our Community 

Proud sponsor of “Cleaning for a Reason” 

Chef of Life 


Trevor complained 

to his mother about 

how hard things were 

for him. ”As soon as 

I solve one problem,” 

he said, “another one 

comes up. I’m tired of 

struggling.” 

His mother, a professional 

chef, took him to 

the kitchen where she 

filled three pots with 

water and placed each 

on a high fire. Soon 

the pots came to a 

boil. In one she placed 

carrots, in the second, 

eggs, and in the last, 

ground coffee beans. 

She let them sit and 

boil, without saying a 

word. 

FREE Estimates • Reasonable Rates 

Call Chrissy TODAY! 

Locally Owned & Operated • Satisfaction Guaranteed 

• Office Cleaning 

• House Cleaning 

• Janitorial Services 

• Customized Cleaning 

• Floor Services 

chrissysdownhomecleaning@gmail.com 

Trevor impatiently 

waited, wondering 

what she was doing. 

After a while, she went 

over and turned off the 

burners. She fished 

out the carrots and 

placed them in a bowl. 

She pulled the eggs 

out and placed them 

in a bowl. He poured 

the coffee into a bowl. 

Turning to him she 

asked, “Trevor, what 

do you see?” 

“Carrots, eggs, and 

coffee,” he replied. 

, 

She brought him closer 

and asked him to feel 

the carrots. He did and 

noted that they were 

soft. She then asked 

him to take an egg and 

break it. After pulling 

off the shell, he observed 

the hard-boiled 

egg. Finally, she asked 

him to sip the coffee. 


A good goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot. 


...with 

Jimbo 



Trevor smiled, as he 

tasted its rich flavor. 

My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks. 

He asked, “What is 

your point, Mother?” 

She explained that 

each of them had 

faced the same adversity, 

boiling water, but 

each reacted differently. 

The carrot went in 

strong, hard, and unrelenting, 

but after being 

subjected to the boiling 

water, it softened and 

became weak. 

The egg was fragile. 

Its thin outer shell had 

protected its liquid 

interior, but after sitting 

through the boiling 

water, its inside 

hardened. 

The ground coffee 

beans were unique, 

however. By being in 

the boiling water, they 

changed the water. 

#aeroairpark 

40 East Ave. Lewiston Next to Sea40 

207-783-3888 

Visit Our Website for 

Hop & Hibachi 

Birthday Party Options 

www.aeroairpark.com 

Hours: Mon-Thurs. 11a-8p; 

Fri. 11a-11p; Sat. 10a-11p 

Sun. 10a-9p 

She asked her son, 

“Trevor, when adversity 

knocks on your door, 

which are you going to 

decide to be?” 

-- Author Unknown 

Happy 

New Year! 

O 


36 

...with 

Jimbo 


Group 

Discounts 

30% Discount 

for 30 or More guests. 

school groups, daycare centers, 

Rec Programs & More 

Call to Reserve Your Space Today! 

Buy 1 hour 

jump get 2nd 

jumper at 

1/2 price 

not to be combined 

with any other offer 

exp. 1/31/17 

# 

If I say “first of all” run away because I have prepared research, data, 

charts and will destroy you.

Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good. 

Happy New Year 

We look forward to serving you in 2017! 






The Vallee Family and whole team 

at the Village Inn wish to extend our 

sincere thankfulness to our community 

for their continued support 

throughout the year. 

We really appreciate our friends 

and our guests and we look forward 

to serving you all in the New Year! 

Village Inn, 165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 

Open Tuesday - Sunday • villageinnmaine.com 

Proud parents of the bride, 

Annette & Mike 

Dupre 

Thanks to 

everyone who made 

the trip from Maine to 

be at our special day in 

Colorado. 

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.” — Dr. Seuss 

Out ‘n About at Flagship Cinemas for DuBois Realty Customer Appreciation 

The newlyweds 

Travis & Maegan 

Simpson 

I always carry a knife in my purse. You know, in case of cheesecake or something. 


...with 

Jimbo 


W 






If your cup is only half full, you probably need a different bra. 

Wishing ALL a 

Happy New Year! 

B 

A special moment with the 

father-daughter dance. 

23 Lisbon Street, • Lisbon/Lewiston line 

207-353-6100 

HOME OF THE 2 YEAR WARRANTY 

Mike Smith, 

Owner 

ON ALL PARTS & LABOR! 

(no matter the mileage) 

theshopclassicrestorations.com 


Thank You 

for 

Your 

Business! 

W 

A dance with the new sonin-law. 

Kevin Chase, Michelle Gagne, Dave Gagne & Abby Bozeman 

And while we’re dancing... 

“Yesterday is not ours 

to recover, but tomorrow 

is ours to win or 

lose.” 

– Lyndon B. Johnson 


38 

...with 

Jimbo 


Everybody wants to change the world but no one wants to change the toilet paper roll.

l. 

u 

! 

Before 

Always say yes to dancing. 

Hardwood Floor Specialists 

Over 30 Years Experience 

Fully Licensed & Insured 

Free Estimates 

207-841-5053 

lsfloorsanding@yahoo.com 

Now 

Accepting 

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. 

After 

WHEN TWO BECOME ONE 

Good Service Becomes World Class Service! 

Ouellette 

& 

Associates 

WINTER IS HERE! 

We are a professional collision repair and painting facility. 

All work is guaranteed! Free estimates! 

COLLISION REPAIR & PAINTING 


207-782-6515 

Robustelli, 

Soucy & 

Hussey 

Two firms joining together to provide 

the same excellent service! 

Our Certified 

Public 

Accountants 

are ready for 

the upcoming 

tax season! 

1111 Lisbon Street, Lewiston • 207-786-0328 • www.oacpas.net 

FREE 

ESTIMATES! 

Local Business 

Awarded 

Ambassador Status 

Kralendijk, Bonaire, 

Netherland Antilles 

Barclay’s 

Skindivers 

Paradise 

At a recent ceremony 

on the Dutch Caribbean 

Island of Bonaire, 

longtime L/A business 

Barclay’s Skindivers 

Paradise was recognized 

as Ambassadors 

to the Island of Bonaire 

for their sustained support 

to island tourism 

and its unsurpassed 

Scuba diving. 

Over the last 14 

years Skindivers has 

guided more than 300 

New Englanders to 

this Southern Caribbean 

island nation for 

underwater adventures, 

sight-seeing, and 

windsurfing. 

Located 100 miles 

from Aruba, this Dutch 

owned Island’s entire 

Coastline is an Underwater 

National Park 

featuring some of the 

most convenient and 

accessible Scuba diving 

on the planet. 

Located in Lewiston, 

Skindivers Paradise 

was formed in Auburn 

in 1959. There physical 

location is at 805 Main 

Street, Lewiston. 

784-7300 

www.skindiversparadise.com 



...with 

Jimbo 


2 

U 






These photos better 

not end up in some 

swanky magazine back in 

Maine. 

If you figure me out, I want an explanation. 

L 

d 

r 

Pam Foulke & 

Gene Couillard 

Father of the bride, 

Mike Dupre, 

acts like he’s won the wave 

contest. 

Not much of a 

contest at all. 

Mother of the bride, 

Annette Dupre, 

easily beats her husband (in 

pretty much everything). 


40 

...with 

Jimbo 


If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place 

Hours: Monday - Sunday 9am - 5pm 

(closed Tuesdays & Major Holidays) 

dad’s place 

redemption 

23 Pleasant St, Mechanic Falls • 345-5551 

You can do anything, but not everything. 

Bottle Drives 

Welcome! 

Get more for your 

returns at Dad’s! 

Dad’s Redemption 

6 ¢ 

on all 5¢ returns 

with this coupon. 

(must present coupon at 

Redemption Center prior to counting) 

UAD expires 1.31.17 

“Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow.” 

— Vincent Van Gogh 

Upscale Comfort Food and Home Style Hospitality 

Our menu features a modern twist 

on traditional Lewiston & Auburn 

favorites, alongside innovative railroad 

inspired comfort food dishes. 

• Locally Owned 

• Thoughtfully Sourced 

• Made from Scratch 

• Maine Craft Beer & Spirits 

A Special 

Day 


Over breakfast one 

morning, a woman 

said to her husband, 

“I bet you don’t know 

what day this is?” 

“Of course I do,” he 

indignantly answered, 

going out of the door to 

the office. 

At 10:00 am, the doorbell 

rang and when the 

women opened the 

door, she was handed 

a box containing a 

dozen long stemmed 

red roses. 

At 1:00 pm, a foil 

wrapped, two pound 

box of her favorite 

chocolates arrived. 

Later, a boutique delivered 

a designer dress. 

The woman couldn’t 

wait for her husband to 

come home! 

“First the flowers, then 

the chocolates, the 

then the dress! she 

exclaimed. “I’ve never 

had a more wonderful 

Ground Hog Day in all 

my life! 

103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston • 333-3070 • RailsMaine.com 

I don’t insult people, I just describe them. 


...with 

Jimbo 


Tickle Your Punny Bone 

with Ron Hood 

Ron Hood is the Director of Owner Services 

for Owner Media Group. He has a 

joke/pun of the day on his Facebook page 

(facebook.com/pezcollector) and a daily 

video pun on Snap Chat (Username: ron. 

hood). Feel free to add Ron as your friend. 

You can reach out to Ron with a punny 

note at OTDweather@gmail.com 

refresh! 

S 

A New Year has begun! This is when people make New Year’s 

Resolutions, usually to improve their lives. Many people buy memberships 

to local gyms, where the signs read “Stop! … Look! … 

Lessen!” Many folks have good intentions, in order to lift their spirits, 

but end up at the gym only to weight a while and never get anything 

done. Lots of couples go to the gym together, but that is a bad idea 

because some relationships just don’t work out. Others trying to lose 

weight continue to frequent the coffee shops for rich beverages and 

delicacies. You could say they are making a mocca-ry of their diet. 

These people might be better off going to the paint store as I know 

they sell thinner there! 

Focus-driven people are very determined with their New Year’s 

Resolution, and they make a slow start with weightlifting, but they 

pick it up eventually. I think the hardest thing is finding a spotter at 

the gym, but when you do, it’s like a huge weight has been lifted off 

your shoulders. 

Being fit can also be your job or part of nature. There’s the astronaut 

who fails on a weightlessness experiment, and is immediately 

aware of the gravity of the situation. Then there is the termite who 

wants to lose some weight, so he started eating more lattice. And 

finally, we all know how fit a gymnast has to be, especially since they 

are always bending over backwards for people. 

The thought of becoming a gymnast springs into my mind however 

much I suppress it. When I learned that I couldn’t be a gymnast, I 

was all bent out of shape. I had to realize that the best floor exercise 

gymnasts come from Palm Springs, and I would eventually end up 

quitting gymnastics 

because I am not 

one to hang around 

the bars. Besides, 

when you have such 

unbalanced thinking, 

it will get you floored 

by an unparalleled 

accident...and I don’t 

want that! 

Jimbo is telling me it’s time to drop this set, unless I have some 

words of wisdom on a weight loss mantra. Fat chants, Jimbo, fat 

chants! 

I hope you will pull-up my article in next months issue! 

The Uncle Andy’s Digest office was recently 

‘refreshed’ by Mrs. Claus, Stefanie Mahr (right) and 

her elves, Hannah Julien & Steve Damien. Stef’s 

business is called refresh and she does some 

pretty amazing work! From home staging for realtors 

to help their listings sell faster and usually for the 

asking price. We highly recommend Stef to do some 

refreshing for your home or office! Find her on 

Facebook and look for her in the Digest starting in 

February. 

Out ‘n About in Florida 

Jay Novella & John Reid 

• 

• 

• 

• 


42 

...with 

Jimbo 


Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?

d 

rs 

e 

Since 

1954 

Are you over thinking what I’m over thinking? 

Rollodrome 

WINTER SCHEDULE 

Thursday Nights - Ages 20+ 7:30-10pm 

Friday Nights - All Skating 7:30 - 10:00 

Saturday & Sunday - 1:30 - 4pm 

Saturday Nights - Family Night 7:30 - 10pm 

Sunday Night - All SK8 • 7:30 - 10pmAvailable for 

private parties 

12 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 777-3940 

www.rollodrome.com 

Out ‘n About at the Chick-a-Dee for Christmas Shenanigans 






Your typical shenanigans at 

the pre-wedding gathering. 

The groom, 

Travis Simpson, 

shows he’s got game. 

Rowe Credit 

Rowe Credit Auburn 

• NEW NAME 

786-8152 


• NEW FINANCE OPTIONS 

Mon - Thurs 9am-5pm 

• NEWER VEHICLES 

• WARRANTY PACKAGES 

Friday 9am-6pm 

Sat. 9am-2pm 

www.rowecredit.com 

Rowe Credit Westbrook 

854-0038 

152 Main St. 

Mon - Fri 9am-6pm 

Sat. 9am-2pm 

Servicing ALL Credit types 

Rowe Credit Auburn 

Rowe Credit Westbrook 

Going to bed early. Not leaving my house. Not going to a party. My childhood 

punishments have become my adult goals. 

The bride, 

Maegan Dupre, 

photo bombs her dad, Mike 

Dupre & Aunt Dana Morrell 


...with 

Jimbo 


Quotable 

Quote 

“The object of a New 

Year is not that we 

should have a new year. 

It is that we should 

have a new soul and 

a new nose; new feet, 

a new backbone, new 

ears, and new eyes. 

Unless a particular man 

made New Year resolutions, 

he would make 

no resolutions. Unless 

a man starts afresh 

about things, he will 

certainly do nothing 

effective.” 

– Gilbert K. Chesterton 

If Monday were shoes, they’d be Crocs. 

Rolly’s Diner 

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it! 

Hey Bruce, 

Thanks for your 

support! 

State Representative Bruce Bickford & Ken Blais 

Breakfast & Lunch 

Specials Daily 

• Unusual Omelettes 

• Crepes 

• Breakfast All Day 

• Extensive Menu 

87 Mill St. 

New Auburn 

753-0171 

(for take-out) 

Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm 

Sunday 7 am – noon 

H 

Pl 

Out ‘n About at Uncle Andy’s Digest 

11 years 

later and I 

still love my 

job! 

One of our seven JFM employees who help 

us distribute the digest to local businesses. 

Call us today! 783-7039 

“Doing business 

without advertising is like 

winking in the dark. 

You know what you’re doing, 

but nobody else does.” 

― Guerrilla Marketing 


44 

...with 

Jimbo 


A snowflake is winter’s butterfly.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit. 

Lisbon 

Credit Union 

For All Your 

Commercial 

& Residential 

Plumbing & 

Heating Needs! 

CALL MIKE TODAY! 

754-4556 

Averie Levesque & 

Morgan McEnery 

Certified Teller Specialist 

Lisbon Credit Union 

congratulates graduates 

of Certified Teller Training 

2016. 

, 

g 

Plumbing & Heating • Oil • Gas 

Residential • Commercial 

24hr Emergency Service 

A Maine Tradition You Can Count On! 

64 Lewiston Road, Gray 

657-4714 • ColeFarms.com 

While in Colorado... 

The beauty, grandeur and challenge of Pikes Peak 

has lured people to its summit for hundreds of years. 

In the late 1800’s, hardy workers built trails, a 

carriage road and a cog railway up the peak. The 

opening of the Pikes Peak Highway in 1915 allowed 

more people to see the spectacular view from the lofty 

summit. The next year, race car drivers challenged the 

mountain in the first Pikes Peak Auto Hill Climb. 

Today over 500,000 people per year hike, drive or 

ride railway cars up the famous peak. 

• Happy Hour 3-6pm daily 

• 14 Beers on Tap & Full Bar 

• Daily Specials 

• Open Mic on Wednesday Nights 

Let’s not let today be as useless as the “G” in lasagna. 

Averie Levesque and 

Morgan McEnery from the 

Lisbon Credit Union recently 

participated in a 3-part 

Certified Teller Specialist 

training program provided 

through the Maine Credit 

Union League and received 

their completion certificates. 

This training program, which 

all tellers from the Lisbon 

Credit Union will take, 

addresses financial skills, 

compliance updates and 

security concerns among 

many other important topics. 

The training consists of 

three separate classes, two 

of them with multiple days. 

This intensive training covered 

many topics, among 

those included were: Financial 

terminology, security, 

confidentially, check fraud, 

BSA and OFAC compliance, 

basics of lending, key 

components of professional 

service, basics of IRAs 

and share insurance, an 

in depth look at the credit 

bureau report, and review 

of the policies & procedures 

of Shared Branching. This 

information rich program is 

vital to ensure professional 

up-to-date service to valued 

Members. 



...with 

Jimbo 


Deer 

Crossing 

Uncle Andy’s 

I live Digest in a semi rural 


area. We recently had 

a new neighbor call 

the 

August 

local township 

2016 

administrative office to 

request the removal of 

the DEER CROSSING 

sign on our road. 

AD PROOF 

Hi Paul & Kim, 

The reason: “Too many 

deer are being hit by 

cars out here! I don’t 

think this is a good 

place for them to be 

crossing anymore.” 

Please review your 

proof carefully. It 

will run as you see 

it if changes are not 

received by 

July 27th 

Thank you! 

Jimbo 

office 783-7039 

fax 777-3898 

NOW HIRING 

ads@UncleAndys.com 

Licensed Massage Therapist for our growing practice 

Call - 207-240-6415 

Please keep your offensive love of winter to yourself. 

Work helps you appreciate the small things in life... like shot glasses. 

185 Webster St. Lewiston • 207-240-6415 

Need help navigating through Medicare options? 

Now You Have Experience 

On Your Side! 

Call Kim or Paul Today! 

Kim Pelkey 

Paul Colasante 

786-2573 782-8823 

184 Webster St. Lewiston 

UAD Proof August 2016 Page tbd 

Poisson & Sons Auto Care Inc. 

260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144 

FULL SERVICE GAS STATION 

Automotive Repairs, 

Maintenance , Inspections, K1, Alignments, 

Computer Diagnostics, State Inspections 

NEW PROJECT IN YOUR FUTURE? 

We Specialize in New Construction & Remodels 

Commercial • Residential 

Ou 

S 

Be 

Cor 

Mill 

Bax 

Pea 

Sier 

Mic 

Sho 

Bud 

W 

Mez 

Ros 

Twis 

Woo 

Red 

Apo 

Cav 

Dar 

Pro 

Bar 


46 

...with 

Jimbo 


Gauthier Plumbing 

Licensed & Insured 

& Heating 

207-212-2501 or 207-754-6351 • gauthierplmg.htgllc@yahoo.com 

Even if you don’t believe in other things, always believe in yourself. 

W 

6

RETAIL • WHOLESALE • REDEMPTION • LIQUOR STORE 

te 

Our Family Serving Yours 

Since 1992 

Beer Specials 

CAPTAIN MORGAN 

750ml 

$ 

14.99 

Save $3 

DALWHINNIE 

15YR 

$ 

54.99 

Save $10 

Corona & Heineken 12pk............. $13.99 

Miller Lite & Coors Light 12pk........ $9.99 

Baxter Variety 12pk...................... $15.99 

Peak Organic 12pk....................... $14.99 

Sierra Nevada 12pk...................... $14.99 

Michelob Light & Ultra 18pk......... $15.99 

Shock Top 12pk........................... $11.99 

Bud & Bud Light 15pk 16 oz. cans. $12.99 

Wine Specials 

CROWN ROYAL 

1.75L 

$ 

45.99 

Save $4 

SAILOR JERRY 

750ml 

$ 

16.99 

Save $3 

GLENLIVET 

12yr. 750ml 

$ 

43.99 

Save $5 

TIN CUP WHISKEY 

750ml 

$ 

25.99 Save $2 

? 

Mezzacorona 1.5L........................ $10.99 

Rosenblum 750ml.......................... $9.99 

Twisted 750ml......................2 for $11.00 

Woodbridge 1.5L.......................... $10.99 

Red Truck 750ml............................ $7.99 

Apothic 750ml................................ $9.99 

Cavit 1.5L..................................... $12.99 

Dark Horse 750ml........................... $7.99 

Prophecy 750ml............................. $9.99 

Barefoot & Yellow Tail 1.5L............. $9.99 

DR MCGUILLICUDDYS & 

FIREBALL FAMILY 

750ml $ 13.99 

Save $3 

SKYY VODKA 

750ml 

$ 

14.99 Save $2 

With SIX convenient locations, Roopers has all your beverage needs! 

694 Main St. 

Lewiston 

782-1482 

794 Sabattus St. 

Lewiston 

783-6353 


Lewiston 

333-3095 

545 Minot Ave. 

Auburn 

783-2047 

303-311 Main St. Rte. 26 Oxford 


Auburn 

(Beer & Wine only) 

783-9098 Jan. 2017 UncleAndys.com 539-6072 

47 

...with 

Jimbo

My wife wanted to watch a scary movie so I took a video of me opening the 

credit card bill after Christmas. 

How often do I use this exfoliating bath sponge if I want to lose 40 pounds? 

We Did It Again... 


48 

...with 

Jimbo 


82% * 

frequently purchase products and services 

from ads seen in Uncle Andy’s Digest. 

National 

Average 

74.4%* 

61% * 

of our readers have an annual household 

income of $50,000 or more. 

National 

Average 

47%* 

54% * 

of our readers hang on to their Digest for a 

month or more, giving it coffee table status. 

Recent circulation & survey information from Circulation Verification Council (CVC) has 

confirmed the Uncle Andy’s Digest is still above the national average at targeting YOUR 

consumers. Our readers use Uncle Andy’s Digest to plan their next purchase. 

Get real results with your advertising dollars. 

*Source: 2016 CVC Audit Report. 

9 Grove Street, Auburn • 783-7039 • UncleAndys.com 

UncleAndysDigest.com 

National 

Average 

25%*

Uncle Andy's Digest- January 2017

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