UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATION

Dadazine
Vol.2 December Issue 3
REFRESH YOUR LIFE
Siritual Condence etreat
Come away with me…
Next level U
Casual doesn’t
mean drub
What is your Sisterhood
Legacy this Christmas?
Step Up For Our Girls
U-Verse
Then you will shine
among them like stars in
the sky
The Dadiary,
Fatal Attraction;
Of dangerous men and the
women who attract them
U-wkward! Situation
Is there a right
way to start?
U-turn
Issues??? Yes? No?
Mhhh!!! A roller
coaster of emotions...
UNCOMFORTABLE
Can this (1) conversation end the drama?
Get your online copy at www.udadaglobal.org
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What Is Udada?
You are beautiful and capable
Change how you view yourself
When she wins, we all win
Change how we view each other
Our daughters need space to thrive!
Change how society views women and girls
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UDADA
Pillars:
1. Healing women to women relationships
2. Developing Spiritual Confidence in women
3. Inpowerment and Empowerment
4. Light the Udada candle of other
women by spreading the Light of Hope
Inpowerment is your new language
#UDADA is our new culture
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The Dadiary
Fatal Attraction
Of dangerous men and the women who attract them
This got me hot feet from the moment they started advertising,
I felt like I should have been at the venue waiting for the day to
come! The conversations teasers were soooo me,
finally someone got me! My friend Koffian was wondering what
the hype was all about; to her a dangerous man is a physically
abusive man. But for me, I knew, I had experienced a dangerous
man but not in the physical manifestation.
I had dated one dangerous man after another hadi to some point
I thought someone had cursed me and died, dooming me to an
eternity of unhappy relationships. I crave for stability and
reliability when it comes to a relationship but somehow I end up
with drama and the type of guys who fall me SMH!!! God forbid.
Not that I am that choosy or anything but please can I get my
prince charming already!?
So, I walk into All Saints Trinity hall all dressed up like I am going
on a date, except Udada is not there! And instead of the smiley
ladies with the pink flowers, I am met by men in black. Hold up,
did God answer my prayers of prince charming that first?
Ummmmh, maybe not, so I check my phone to
confirm if it is exactly Tuesday or somehow my
excitement managed to get the best of me.
I ask one of ‘them’ and he directs me to the
other side a ‘St something’. Which I realize
I had passed in my haste to meet this
Ian Isherwood guy, today’s speaker.
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Ulalallala ladies! The speaker is definitely as yum as advertised.
His eyes are enough to bring the fisilet out of any woman.
How am I even going to concentrate while my mind is wondering
if he is single and how he likes his coffee, does he take it white or
black? Anyway as he starts speaking about Fatal Attraction,
I have to catch myself because I was a victim, right there and then.
Question is, is he dangerous?
You can never be 100% sure about someone but there are red
flags you can look out for before you are swiped away into the
dreamy world of love. But first, you have to understand and accept
yourself. Because if you are clear on your values and what ticks
for you, then you won’t feel the need to constantly compare
yourself to others and when that prince charming finally walks
through the door you are confident on what you want.
The best relationship you can have is with yourself. Sounds cliché,
right? But coming down to it, if you are insecure and have no clear
boundaries or values then anyone can look like prince charming
to you, it is easy to be convinced to try out some things in a
relationship that are completely not you. So to start with,
make a list of why someone should date you. Know who you are
and what you can offer in a relationship.
His mind is as yum as his face or maybe I am just hearing what
I want to. This is why you need to attend Udada for yourself, as
much as there is the Dadiary and Dvds but this raw experience is
something else entirely. Ian also shared the importance of
listening to your friends and family opinion about the guy you are
seeing because they might be able to see things about him that
you can’t. Yes, I know, we don’t like being told that the guy we are
falling for headfirst isn’t good for us, but I think ‘I wish I knew’ isn’t
anyone’s cup of it either!
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As Laimani came on stage for part 2 of the evening to talk about
how to manage if you are already married to a dangerous man, a
kind of burden that I did not know I had carried was lifted up. See,
one thing about dating a dangerous man, they make you think that
you are the one with a problem.
It would be much easier to tell you to pack and leave if you are
married to a dangerous man, but walking away is not a snap
decision. But, you would know if a lion is about to pounce on
you. Duck, this is not the time to be a strong woman. Your time to
be vocal will come but when the lion is resting, take this time to
express yourself, be firm and clear.
Danger is clearly in the eyes of the beholder. Who is a dangerous
man to you could mean a totally different thing to someone else.
Some pointers though on who is a dangerous man; an addict, a
man without hope, without a vision, with nothing to lose, without
accountability or without regard to human life and dignity. A
bored man is a dangerous man and most importantly a perverted
man is a dangerous man.
And while we are on the subject of who are the dangerous men, it
is in order to distill some myths about them. Power, wealth, great
looks and short are not some of the qualities of a dangerous man.
Our Next Gathering will be on
7th February 2017
Get your E-ticket @
www.udadaglobal.org
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Ephesians 5:14
14 Therefore He says:
“Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give
you light.”
U
DA
DA
Verses
John 8:12
Then Jesus again spoke to them,
saying, “I am the Light of the world;
he who follows Me will not walk
in the darkness, but will have
the Light of life.”
John 14: 6
Jesus answered,
“I am the way
and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father
except through me.”
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SPIRITUAL
Confidence
RETREAT
With Laimani Bidali
We will learn and practice:
Why I attend the Spiritual Confidence
by Caroline Gacheru
• Importance of personal retreat (come away)
You know, I did not start by sitting down and making a list
of why it made sense for me to start attending the fellowship so
• Bible-based meditation
when I was asked this question I drew a blank. However, I know
that I am not impulsive. • Fervent I analyze Effective everything prayer sometimes even
what I want to say general conversations so I knew there must
have been a
•
series
Hearing
of things
&
that
Listening
I had considered
to God
and probably
did not realize.
Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not
even have The first a chance one is to I chose eat, he this said fellowship to them, and “Come not any with other me by is yourselves
because I trust to the a people quiet place and the and organization get some rest.” behind it.
I have attended a number of Mark programs 6:31run by the Alabastron
Network Trust and from each and every one of the sessions;
I have experienced a mixture of acceptance, love, calling out and a
Limited spaces
resultant growth that I have not encountered anywhere else.
So I knew, in my heart of hearts, Date: that 17th if I want Dec 2016 to read my bible,
pray every day and grow, should Alabastron ever have a program
that is in any way related to this, Time: I wanted 7.30am to – be 5.00pm a part of it.
The second one is very closely
Venue:
related
a
to
retreat
the first
centre
one.
in
I
Karen
chose
(tbc)
the fellowship because again from
To book
experience,
call 0717
every
304 120
tool
/ 0733
I was
900 701
equipped with in Alabastron programs, I am able to use in life.
What I would like you to understand is these programs are not
CONTACT like school ME FOR where SCR after the exam you find yourself ill equipped to
handle the mix that is life, work, relation-shits, finances and
NAME:................................................................................................................................................
PHONE:.............................................................................................................................................
EMAIL:...............................................................................................................................................
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(insert here what is currently driving you up the wall).
Because of my experience, I had faith that with the fellowship
I will be able to add God into that mix.
Speaking of adding God into the mix brings me to the third
reason why. While participating in the programs, I realized that I
was that lukewarm Christian that God spits out of His mouth every
morning, noon and night. That pains me just to write it. I was also
convicted by something someone said once “How sad it would be
if you never fully committed to anything in your life”.
So I decided that this one relationship, with God, is what I
needed to fully commit to. It needed to be identified, jerked up,
jump started and built anew.
The fourth reason why. (ala, kumbe there are many reasons!)
Everything that we have unlearned and learned has impacted me
in ways I cannot even begin to comprehend. For instance,
I had never been a person who can sit in an argument about
spirituality, God or religion and not feel conflicted about the
discussion. I would feel so powerless because I had nothing
deep, meaningful to say and would find myself feeling angry why
can’t I speak up? Why can’t I say anything? Why did I not think to
say that? The fellowship has enabled me to be present in such
a discussion without losing faith in the path that I have chosen;
without being critical or judgmental of those in the discussion and
even retains friendships.
The fifth reason is part of why I keep going back every month.
Slowly, the fellowship has enabled me to have a healthier
appreciation of the church that I attend. The fellowship does not
replace my Sunday service attendance. Instead, when I attend the
fellowship, my Church service experience is richer. From the
fellowship, I have learned to read the bible to understand what
the author was trying to say, appreciate what was going on during
that time, apply it and allow the word to transform me.
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At Sunday service, I am able to apply all those things in the series
that the church has and thus gain so much more from attending
Church service than before.
The sixth reason is that I am now able to read my bible privately.
Before, I would read it because either I am in church or there is a
meeting of friends from church and so I would look for a relevant
verse to share. Or maybe I am at a place where the bible is being
read and so I read it. The fellowship has provided me with an
environment that has enabled me to see that reading the bible is
not just to amass information so that I can drop a ka-verse here
and there in my conversation. It has helped highlight and
underline what has always been missing. It has helped me be able
to reach for it by myself.
Finally, the fellowship gives me a chance to hang out with ladies
that I love and admire that are my friends. Imagine that! We talk.
We laugh. We talk some more. We laugh out loud some more.
(I have shed one or two tears too but mine are just here). Then
someone says something deep that makes us pause and ponder.
And then the time flies by very fast and we say bye for half an
hour. And then I go home having had such a wonderful time .........
on my day..... with my friends.
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U
DA
DA
Then you
will shine among them like stars
in the sky
Verses
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Philippians
2:13-15
Amplified Bible
(AMP)
13. For it is [not your strength, but it is] God who is
effectively at work in you, both to will and to work
[that is, strengthening, energizing, and creating in you the
longing and the ability to fulfill your purpose]
for His good pleasure.
14. Do everything without murmuring or questioning
[the providence of God],
15. So that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and
guileless, innocent and uncontaminated,
children of God without blemish in the midst of a
[morally] crooked and [spiritually] perverted generation,
among whom you are seen as bright lights
[beacons shining out clearly] in the world [of darkness]
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#UDADA DVD
YOUR
ACTIVATE
SELF WORTH
with Laimani Bidali
www.sisterhoodglobal.org
ACTIVATE YOUR SELF WORTH
Highlights
• Get out of the pity party club
• Learn to ask, never say someone’s
No for them
• At what point do you terminate
the deal and walk away?
• Behind every No there is a Yes
To order your copy pass by inquiry
desk or call 0717 304 120
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Next
Level
Casual doesn’t mean drub
Wondering what to wear this
festive season? Grace Maina
shares on some ideas on
how to rock those casual
outfits.
Ladies it’s that time of the year
again! Trees and lights are going
up everywhere and you won’t
miss a billboard spreading the
Christmas vibe. You can also
begin to spot those SALE signs
that all women love.
(Who doesn’t love a great
bargain)?
The festive season is a time to
share with family and friends
the warmth and love of Christ,
through the spirit of Christmas.
Sometimes it becomes a
challenge figuring out what
exactly to wear for Christmas.
You are probably meeting up with the
family upcountry or having a picnic with
friends or even going out of town on
vacation. Wherever you may be at this
particular time you still want to look
fabulous.
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Unless you are going to a cocktail party or attending a wedding
you want to be as comfortable as you can get because for some
reason the sun finds its way out when we least expect.
So how about we talk about what you’ll be wearing this festive
season? I believe if you’re going for a family get-together you
want to be modest but still have fun with your outfit while at it.
A sundress would be a perfect bet to that family gathering.
Get one that isn’t too reveling and with a decent length.
Off shoulder outfits are the rage at the moment, how about you
get one out. They are making some beautiful Ankara tops and
you can pair that with some shorts for that picnic or road trip.
If you’re on vacation, either on the beach or in the wild you can
bring out the flowy maxi dress will be super appropriate and
comfortable. Pair it with sandals and a cute headband to bring
out some Bohemian style.
Whatever you decide to wear throughout this season comfort
is key, and remember style isn’t complicated, it’s only as simple
as you decide to make it. Have an absolutely beautiful festive
season and spread love and light to every person you come
while at it.
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-Turn
Issues??? Yes? No? Mhhh!!! A
roller coaster of emotions...
(Lily Alabastron Season 27)
I heard about Alabastron from my friend
Faith in June 2016 (who has not done the program).
Her opinion was that it helps women with problems learn how
to deal. Hahahaha! She made it seem like it was a therapy for
women with ‘issues’. But I came to learn later on that an
experience becomes an issue when handled wrongly.
I mentioned it to my mother who had been told so much about
it by her friend Khadija who had gone through the program.
Khadija was very positive. She told me that it is a program that
helps women learn about themselves and how to influence. A
place to equip and guide women on how to know what is important,
how to handle challenges and every day experiences
that come up. I believe it was not my time, but when l was told
about it, at that point in my life, l was ready to try anything to
get unstuck.
I think I was entangled (learnt the value of this word in
Alabastron) in a lot of things that did not make me a better
person or add value to my life. I enrolled in search of peace.
My life was just ‘MATHOGOTHANIO’ (kikuyu word that best
explains ‘mixed up’). I was at breaking point, a walking person
following a routine but not really living.
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I had prayed and when nothing was answered l just stopped
praying! Then l blamed God for all my problems and hid
behind my job. Someone once told me l lost myself and l was
living people’s lives instead of mine. I never went back to see
her. So when I joined Alabastron I was hoping to sort out my
life, find the missing link that had made my life crumble.
and nowhere
in my wildest
dreams would
l expect this to
be the core of
my problems
for Him in my life.
One of the things I realized during
the program was that my
relationship with God was not
right (and nowhere in my wildest
dreams would l expect this to be
the core of my problems).
I had put him aside after going to
campus and slowly,
I stopped experiencing His love
and favor. I did things my way.
Yes l went to church once in a
while but l never acknowledged need
My experience during the 2weeks was powerful. A roller
coaster of emotions. The first week was tough!!! I wanted to
run away at some point…!! But that was my turning point.
Hahaha! But I am also very grateful to my friend Sally for
following up and pushing me to do this program, l would not
have made it to class. I had a lot going on but l managed to
put everything aside to be there for myself.
Right now, I can see. I can breathe. I have this peace that
l cannot explain. I feel like I am in control of MY life. I can
choose what is important and what is not, l can influence, I
can enjoy my SELF. I am happy. I am living life, not just being.
I make decisions that are healthy for me. I chose what to let
into my heart.
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It was also so amazing to discover my purpose (I did not know
this could be done. I thought some had purpose and others
were just escorting people, now l know.) I have been able to
forgive people who hurt me. And from this I created space for
God. The core of my heart had been filled with hurt, pain, anger,
bitterness and resentment. I feel liberated. I have given God
His space back in my life. And from this l see things from the
right perspective. It’s like clearing a blocked nose, or seeing
colors for the first time.
OH yes and discovering my body shape! Hahhaha I am slowly
changing my wardrobe to suit my body type and express my
joy.
Call- 0719 504 104
www.alabastron.org
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wkward! Situation
Mum, I need
to tell you
something.
“Would you like another cup of tea?”
I ask. This is the third cup of tea I am
offering her. I have to keep her occupied.
I had all this planned out, I knew
exactly what to say and how to say it but
now looking at her, I am just drawing a
blank.
She is so excited about my upcoming scholarship in Australia that
she can barely notice my nervousness. I cannot believe that I am
the one to wipe out that smile off her face, maaan it hurts even
thinking about it.
“No, thank you, I actually have to get going” she answers to my
request of another cup of tea.
No, no, no she can’t leave, if she leaves that’s it. I have to tell her,
this is my chance. “Mum, I need to tell you something.” I start,
but then I meet her eyes and freeze.
How do I tell this woman that has so much faith in me that I am
not going to make it for that scholarship she has been so excited
about? How do I even tell her that I am pregnant and there are
no wedding bells either because I also broke off my engagement
with Alex?
Which of course she will ask why I broke it off, how do I tell her
that I cheated on my fiancée and I am not sure who the father of
the kid is?
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For how long am I going to teach you these things? You haven’t
learnt a thing! Why does your mother need to know about your
break up with Alex? I can’t believe that you are even
considering telling her about the baby daddy dilemma, who
does that?
Aunty,
U-Crazy
Kwani how old are you? If I were you, I would
focus on the pregnancy thingy it kinda covers
everything. “I am pregnant”. All it takes is a 3
letter sentence, what is the big deal there?
Wait until she leaves then text her that you are pregnant; She is in
a hurry after all and might not process the
information well. If she doesn’t reply or come
to your house, give her a day or two to process
then call her. If she doesn’t pick, show up and
inform her that you need to talk. Aunty Crazy is
right this one time, your mum does not need to
know aboutthe break up or the baby daddy drama.
It would tear her in pieces.
Aunty,
U-Nice
Aunty,
U-Wise
This is a delicate situation, first if she is in a hurry
to leave, this might not be the right time to bring
this up. Ask her when she is available for an hour
or two you would like to have an important
conversation with her. If she insists that you tell
her what it is, tell her that you will not be able to
go to Australia for the scholarship because you are
pregnant and you would like to have the baby before you
proceed. You are still eligible for the scholarship and you would
further it in a year or so.
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