Returning to Goloka

uncomfortable. I felt that I was not doing enough to get Enlightened. Before
long I was waking up early and doing a round of meditation in my room
before going down to group program.
Near the end of April, 1989 I suddenly had the overwhelming desire
to worship Lord Vishnu. This idea came out of nowhere but immediately
consumed me. Within a day I had some audiotapes and a written translation
of the 1000 names of Vishnu and began to learn a few names every morning
when I woke up early. In a few days I was getting raps on the walls from my
neighbors for chanting at 4 am while they were trying to sleep.
At that time, I did not realize the connection between Lord Vishnu and
my Atman. My Atman was moving me along toward the goal by working
behind the scenes and giving me ideas and inspirations to do certain things.
Because I was living in a state of surrender to the higher intelligence in my
life, these signals were coming through loud and clear.
I moved the EEG equipment out of my
room and set up an altar on which I placed a
puja set and a picture of Maharishi and his Guru
Dev. I started to do a puja to Guru Dev every
morning. To do a daily puja is quite an ordeal
because you need fresh flowers and fruit every
day to offer. During the spring and summer I
could find flowers on the grounds, but in the
fall and winter I had to order flowers in bulk
from a local nursery to be delivered to the
Manor once a week. Getting plenty of fresh fruit was not a problem, if you
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