Parker Cars Magazine: Issue 4

LONDONERS QUOTED
The world according to…
Janet Street-Porter
Full to the brim of character,
opinion and teeth, this
journalist and TV personality
is one of London’s most
outspoken women. Here are
some of her shiniest pearls of
wisdom.
“My friends would not go on Twitter if you shoved
a carrot up their a**e. When I get an email from
someone saying, would I like to be one of their
Facebook friends, I email them back: ‘F*** off!’”
“Forget romantic fiction; a survey has found that
most women would rather read a good book than
go shopping, have sex, or sleep.”
“I’ve owned more sofas than I’ve had husbands. Both
sag in the end, but I generally fall out of love with
the furniture quicker than the men.”
“I grew up in the 1950s, and my parents were
always harping on about the war. I hate nostalgia,
and the worst thing you can do is carry around a
big suitcase of memories that weighs you down.”
“Stress is a designer ailment that many of the
so-called afflicted suffer from with pride.”
“Women spend their entire lives trying to please
too many other people: the boss, the partner, the
children, the family, their mother. In the end you’ve
got to get up, say ‘I’m great’, and end the day
thinking you’ve done one thing for yourself.”
“Sometimes I’ve looked at a plate of food and
wondered if it wouldn’t look better as a hat.”
“Far too many women are hesitant, and remain
trapped in jobs for which they are over-qualified or
paid beneath their worth.”
“I hate reality shows like Big Brother and I’m a
Celebrity. I’d rather watch a goldfish bowl.”
“I’m no fan of Jeremy Clarkson’s. He’s right up
there on my list of five most hated men.”
[on Jimmy Savile, Stuart Hall and Rolf Harris]
“I don’t want any of the television shows made by
this ghastly trio to be wiped. I want them to be
studied for future generations, to try to understand
how none of us spotted what these men were up to.”
“If we are meeting for the first time, I will greet you
with a handshake only. No matter who you are –
pop star or politician, Peter Andre, Boris Johnson
or my bank manager – I don’t want you to invade
my space.”
“I never say TV is crap, or bang on about some
mythical golden era when it was all Tinker, Tailor.
You get the telly you deserve. Turn it off if you don’t
like it.”
“A certain kind of bloke finds me really, really
threatening.”
“I was a completely repulsive child. I was very,
very driven. I was in the Young Conservatives and
then the Young Socialists, more or less one after
the other.”
[On the possibility of retirement]
“Christ, no. What’s the point of that? I like working
too much. If I stood still for long enough I would
just crumble into a pile of dust and there would be
a set of teeth and a pair of glasses on the floor.”
where to, parker? 49