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A general account of bonding<br />
adolescent were to give a serious speech about grave matters of state, then<br />
no matter how brilliant the speaker’s oratory, a man of more mature judgement<br />
would become indignant because of the speaker’s arrogance.<br />
Likewise, if an old man were to give a speech full of charming, flattering<br />
and flowering words, this would invite contempt, would sometimes provoke<br />
laughter and would provide an occasion for mockery. Thus, in regard<br />
to the body, to words and to behaviour, one thing is fitting for a married<br />
woman, another for a virgin; one thing for a girl, another for a boy; one<br />
thing for a mature adult, another for an old man; one thing for a soldier,<br />
another for a Roman citizen.<br />
3. The indeterminateness of a bond. I believe that it is not as difficult to make<br />
and to break bonds as it is to identify a bond in the concrete circumstances<br />
in which bonds are referred to the case at hand rather than to nature or to<br />
art. For example, a bond which originates from the body has no specific<br />
location in the body. Consider the eyes and cheeks and mouth by which a<br />
lover feels that he is bound. When these same things are attributed to<br />
another subject in the same proportions, it sometimes happens that they<br />
do not bind in a similar way, and thus the bonds of Cupid are dissolved or<br />
prevented. Why is it that sometimes, when we are consumed by love for a<br />
body which we have seen, the bonds of Cupid vanish when we become<br />
acquainted with that individual’s speech and personality? And thus, you<br />
should understand bonds in the same way in a social setting.<br />
4. The composition of a bond. The bond of Cupid is inferior to the bonds by<br />
which appropriate composite things bind us, and we are in no way forcefully<br />
captured by simple and absolute things. There are those who strongly reject<br />
these latter bonds. They think that God has no beauty in Himself, since his<br />
nature is simple and He does not display any level of composition. However,<br />
it is a matter of faith that God is both the author and the goal of all beauty<br />
and of every bond. Thus, because of the weakness of their minds, these<br />
thinkers have not distinguished between beauty in itself and what is beautiful<br />
to us. Likewise, at the practical level, they do not discern and distinguish<br />
between what is beautiful and reasonable to all men on the one hand,<br />
and what is a matter of custom, practice and opportunity for particular<br />
people on the other hand. As a result, they err in their attempts to bind.<br />
5. The number of bonds. To put the matter generally and firmly, bonds are<br />
the form, the habits and the motions of a body, the consonance of voice and<br />
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