writing_womans_lives_symposium_paper_book_v2

autobiography is wholly inauthentic than a suggestion that other forms of ethnographic or
biographical narrative could be less authentic than their autobiographical counterparts.
An incredibly powerful autobiography which sheds light on some of the issues I have discussed
with regards to culture and tolerance/intolerance is Nkunzi Zandile Nkabinde’s 2008 book Black Bull,
Ancestors and Me: My Life as a Lesbian Sangoma, which she wrote with Ruth Morgan, the former
director of the Gay and Lesbian Archives (GALA), now Gay and Lesbian Memory in Action at the
University of the Witwatersrand. Nkunzi is a Zulu sangoma, or a traditional healer. She is also a
lesbian. The book is a memoir of Nkunzi’s life thus far. She claims that inside her, there is
contestation between her traditional Zulu culture and her identity as a lesbian in the modern world.
This contestation is also reflected in the struggle between her own life and desires and that of the
ancestor, whose spirit guides her in healing.
An example of both of these forms of contestation is exemplified by the following statements.
Nkunzi says:
Sometimes I feel tense inside because what I was taught about Zulu culture as a child in
KZN (KwaZulu Natal) is in conflict with what I have learned from growing up and living the
life of a lesbian in Meadowlands. For example there is a part of me that believes in
virginity testing. My ancestor, Nkunzi, also influences my beliefs… When I look around at
the young girls of these days who are getting pregnant… at 14 or 16… and when I see the
way that AIDS is spreading like a fire in the youth, I understand what Nkunkzi is seeing…
Then on the other side I understand that because of our Constitution, girls have certain
rights and virginity testing stands in the way of those rights… 15
She sums up this cultural negotiation very poignantly, saying “as a sangoma I am trained to see
what is happening behind what we normally see… My life is not only for myself, it is also for my
ancestors, especially my ancestor, Nkunzi.” 16
Nkunzi knew she liked women from a young age. At 18 her mother said “I know you are like
that.” 17 She continued “I was just waiting for you to tell me, God gave you to me… you are my child”
and Nkunzi notes that her mother tells her a story about two gay men she worked for. Nkunzi writes:
One day when she arrived early for work she walked in on them making love. She got
such a shock that she immediately put her hand on her stomach and she thought, what
will I do if I have a child like this? She said ‘By the time I saw that you were like this, I
thought about that day and thought that God heard me that day and answered this prayer.
And so there is nothing I could do. I had to accept you the way you are’. 18
Continuing, Nkunzi says:
My mother told the rest of the family. I didn’t come out to anyone. First she told my
sisters… They said “…We will not accept it.” My mother… protected me. My sisters saw it
was them that had a problem. My mom paved the way for me to come out. If there was
gossip in the community about me she would go and fight for me... She told my relatives…
as well, so it was easy for me to go to family gatherings… I was not afraid anymore.” 19
…
“The boys respected me and I respected them. I didn’t get involved in fights… I grew
up in a protective community. I could go around with my girlfriends, even at night. 20
As Nkunzi continues telling her story, which is now travelling through her adulthood she talks
about the journey she undertakes in becoming a sangoma and also her journey as a sexual being.
She says:
Nkunzi [the ancestor] loves women… I have more power when Nkunzi is in me,
especially when we both desire the same woman. When this happens… the woman that I
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