writing_womans_lives_symposium_paper_book_v2

When I was 15 years old, in the middle of the school year I thought it was time. So I
picked a rather small, black scarf from a Moroccan seller in the market, thinking; “well you
are in school, running up and down, get something that will be easy to put on.” The next
day I prepared this outfit for my first ever veiled day in school. I had baggy jeans on, you
know like rap style, sneakers, a blue tunic, and a chic blue jacket and the veil. My brother
teased me saying “hey you are all in black...” And I said “no, see I have some blues on
too.”
The careful planning of the outfit’s colour, style as well as ensuring flexibility of movement
attests to the importance she attributes to presenting herself with the veil for the first time. Having
blue eyes and a pale complexion, Emel had often been mistaken for an autochthonous Dutch in
school. Thus, on a visual level carrying such a prominent marker of difference would be new to her.
She was careful to blend black with vibrant colours, as evident in the exchange with her brother since
black has negative connotations of austerity and association with the controversial burqa. Emel said:
Everybody was like “You look good, it is good that you kept your old sporty clothing
style. It is good that you do not go for long dresses...” So people care a lot about what you
wear with the veil. That you go for colours. There was only one Dutch friend who said
“Emel, you looked much better without the veil,” but that is all.
Although Emel was slightly nervous, she reports almost exclusively positive feedback.
Although this was a big change in terms of her social identity, Emel didn’t suffer too much due to the
fact that in her multicultural classroom, veiling was already common practice. Still, Emel deliberately
chose vibrant blue colours as she internalized the need to not come across as unfamiliar. She was
praised by her Dutch peers due to her choice of a sporty style which works as a mediating factor in
curbing belonging uncertainty as more traditional clothing like long dresses are seen by classmates as
foreign. “The rap style” as she puts it with baggy jeans and sneakers, with its connotations of
belonging to the contemporary urban cultural context, showed her adaptation to the Dutch scene.
Similarly, another respondent said: “I shop from the same high street shops as them like
H&M etc... That way the things I wear are not so different from classmates, so they can relate to
me.” Just like Emel, she also paid attention to the ways in which her sense of dress was perceived by
her peers. Using mainstream clothing available to Dutch consumers, she adapted these to her style
by combining with more modest elements, for example by wearing a t‐shirt underneath a blouse.
Therefore, adopting attire closely connected with the Dutch context was a clear strategy to express
and claim belonging.
The ultimate strategy for easing belonging uncertainty was to develop parallel feelings of
belonging with other Turkish‐Dutch women. The respondents’ primary relationships were almost
always with fellow Turkish‐Dutch females. In cases where they were not present, they tended to
befriend Moroccans or other Muslims with whom they perceived shared cultural similarities. Only
two respondents cited ethnic Dutch women as close friends with whom they socialized, such as going
to the movies or to cafes together. The respondents’ strong identification with other Turkish‐Dutch
females is evident from the way they address the posed questions regarding their personal
experiences.
Taliha uttered “we” repeatedly when asked about the commencement of her veiling, and
Rana argued that the “negative pressure” is felt by “us kids” referring to the other veiled Turkish‐
Dutch. Similarly, Yeliz used “us Turks” when asked about her individual experiences in school. Such
answers which speak in the name of their peer group, using the subject “we” instead of “I” attests to
a strong identification with fellow veiled Turkish‐Dutch. Buitelaar defines the use of such “collective
voices” in the construction of identity as self‐ essentializing; 12 arguing it to be “a rhetorical
performance to invoke a positive ‘imagined community’” 13 which “may serve the group interests of
collectivities that are caught in asymmetrical societal power relations.” 14 At the face of being
different, these respondents’ friendships within the Turkish communities cultivate parallel feelings of
belonging; they derive strength and legitimacy from each other and create a group consciousness.
These respondents have experienced belonging uncertainty differently depending on their
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