The Numbers Game

News
Last Week In Reality
SAT 28 TUE 31
Shit Happens An expectant
mother turns to an online forum
for help: Her mother-in-law,
who will be taking care of her
baby, advised the woman that
she should clean her baby’s
mouth often with Chinese
herbs, or with cockroach feces
if the herbs were unavailable.
The woman spoke out against
the idea, but her mother-in-law
insisted that her baby would
only know learn to nurse if its
mouth had been wiped with
cockroach droppings. The
woman says she’s worried
her mother-in-law would be
offended if she hired a nanny.
SUN 29
Problem Solved? MTR
employees put up a sign
at the Kwun Tong MTR
station: “Platform lift is out of service, passengers
in need please use Ngau Tau Kok Station or Lam
Tin Station.”
MON 30
Too Late To Apologize
At around 9pm, near
Li Yuen Street West in
Central, a Caucasian man allegedly attacks a police
sergeant, who calls for backup. Fellow officers arrive
to subdue the man and he is arrested on suspicion
of attacking a police officer. The man appears to
resist arrest while shouting in Cantonese, “I’m sorry!
I’m sorry!” The station sergeant is sent to hospital
for injuries to his face and arm. An investigation
is underway.
Raining Fish In Kwun Tong,
a dead fish the size of
a hand falls onto the hood of
a Mercedes-Benz before bouncing on to the ground.
The owner of the car calls the police for help: Police
arrive to investigate, but are unable to determine the
fish’s point of origin.
WED 1
Spreading the Seed A photo
uploaded to Facebook goes viral:
A Kwai Tsing resident wakes up to
see what appears to be a used condom dangling from her
clothes drying rack. Netizens urge the woman to take the
condom for DNA testing. One netizen suggests that the
woman inseminate herself with the semen and raise the
baby as an act of revenge on the man who left the condom
on her drying rack.
Edited by Stephanie Tsui
stephanie.tsui@hkmagmedia.com
THU 2
Slap That At around
8pm at the Star Ferry Pier in
Tsim Sha Tsui, a man is seen
holding a sign charging
people $10 to slap his face.
A passerby gives him $30
to slap him three times. It
is later revealed that the
slapping was part of
a short film project.
Illustrations: Joyce Kwok
Creepy Excuses At the District
Court, a man is sentenced to
two and a half years in prison
for molesting his 9-year-old daughter while his wife
was away on a business trip. Earlier, it was revealed
in court that when his wife confronted him about
the crime, the man claimed that he had mistaken his
daughter for her.
FRI 3
Quote of the Week
“Young people seem happy
when they meet Leung Chun-ying.”
In a Headline Daily column, government spin doctor Andrew Fung Wai-kwong
accuses some media outlets of “hiding the truth” to make it appear as if all
young people are against the Chief Executive.
Talking Points
We read the news, so you don’t have to.
VIP Treatment for Lawmaker
DAB legislator Tam Yiu-chung has had to apologize
for allegedly being given preferential treatment at
Queen Elizabeth Hospital in May when he went in for
an operation to remove a polyp near his ear. A post to
a Facebook page for public hospital doctors alleged that
Tam was allowed to jump the surgery queue, and both
he and his wife were allowed into staff-only areas. Tam’s
wife also entered the operating theater’s sterile area
without undergoing the correct disinfection procedures.
Tam has since apologized for the “inconvenience”
caused, although he claims that he did not ask for any
special privileges. The hospital said the arrangements
were made by staff without their managers’ knowledge.
An investigation is underway.
Our take: This must be what’s keeping public
hospital staff busy…
China Complains, Singer Ditched
Cantopop singer Denise Ho Wan-sze, also known as HOCC, has
been ditched by an international cosmetics brand after an outraged
response from Chinese netizens. . The announcement of her appearance
at a promotional concert for Lancôme provoked calls for a boycott of the
brand, , owing to Ho’s high-profile support for the 2014 Occupy Central
movement and her recent meeting with the Dalai Lama. Lancôme
released a statement on its Facebook page on June 5 announcing
that the event would be cancelled due to “possible safety reasons.”
The statement has triggered a further call for a boycott of the brand
in Hong Kong. Ho released a statement lamenting that “the world’s
values have been seriously twisted” ” and that Lancôme had
bowed to a “bullying hegemony.”
Our take: You know things are serious when even makeup
gets political.
Illustration: Elaine Tang
6 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, JUNE 10, 2016