Down the Rabbit Hole - Holly Madison

“I’m pretty competitive . . .” she stated at the camera. “Ya know, I’m kind of already
established, but I don’t wanna lose that. I wanna gain.”
I could tell Kendra was annoyed and trying to be careful how she worded what she wanted to
say. She didn’t like being set up to look less successful than me, even for one scene. While that
wasn’t the intent—producers simply wanted to inspire her to get her ass off the couch—the
comparison couldn’t be helped.
The next thing I heard from her was a headline she retweeted: Kendra reveals why she is no
longer friends with Holly and Bridget!
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Kendra had apparently given an interview to a tabloid
explaining that she wasn’t friends with either of us, as if she were somehow better than everyone else.
“We’ve all found our own little roads to go and that’s just the way it goes,” she said, retweeting the
article to her follwers when it came out. For someone who was all of a sudden trying to act like she
was better than Bridget and me, she sure wasn’t above using us for publicity when she needed it.
Anything for a tabloid-worthy topic!
Hurt and confused, I retweeted her post, saying: Thanks for letting me know, Kendra!
Of course I wasn’t going to stoop to her level and address this only on social media, so I
decided to text her how I truly felt: that she was a coward and that she tried to act like the “real” girl
on TV, but she’s the fakest person I’ve ever met—and that if she had a problem with me, she should
have confronted me like an adult instead of just going silent.
This time Kendra responded and the exchange went something like this:
Girl, I don’t have a problem with you. I just don’t like it when people think we are friends,
she texted.
Do you even have a clue how rude that sounds, what you just said? I replied.
WHO ARE YOU????? I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU! WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS. IT WAS
ALL JUST WORK! she responded in all caps.
Wow, I’m sorry I was stupid enough to think we were really friends. Have a nice life, I finally
texted.
After that, I deleted her number from my phone. Kendra and I haven’t spoken since, and I have to
say, I don’t miss her.
FOR ALL THE THINGS that were going right in my life over the past few years, there was still one area
that I needed to get on track. The dating scene in Las Vegas was pretty grim. During my three years as
a single lady, I had the worst luck in the dating department. I swear, I could write a book on the types
of douchebags that lurk around these days (maybe I will!).
All of my life, I was an over-the-top romantic, but by 32 years old I had become pretty
disillusioned. I’d often wonder what I did wrong. It seemed that spending my 20s at the mansion had
caused me to miss out on meeting “the one.”
I was alone because I wasn’t going to settle for less in a man than what I wanted or deserved.
For the first time in my life, I started to lay plans to become a crazy cat lady. What would my life be