Down the Rabbit Hole - Holly Madison

Crystal did a crazy interview with Howard Stern today that didn’t have much to do with
reality. Is she trying to impress a new boyfriend?
The sex with Crystal the first night was good enough so that I kept her over two more nights
. . .
Sure, her turn on Stern was a low blow, but I was disappointed to see Hef stoop to her level. In
the end, they both lost that war.
When the headlines disappeared, her new relationship ended and people stopped caring about
Hugh Hefner’s ex-fiancée, Crystal came back to the mansion with her tail between her legs and the
pair wed in a low-key wedding ceremony on December 31, 2013. There certainly must have been a
measure of satisfaction for Hef’s ego. The woman who had so publicly embarrassed him ended up
crawling back after all—just like he had tried to convince me to do after I met Criss.
My guest appearance on Hef’s Runaway Bride was the last time I ever saw Hef or spoke to him.
I continued to receive letters from him after that, but I just threw them away, because they were
always only about him anyway. Three years after breaking off the relationship I could finally say he
was out of my life for good.
DESPITE ANOTHER SEASON OF stellar ratings for Holly’s World (seeing a series high of nearly 2.5
million viewers), the show was canceled.
E! welcomed a new president at the same time, who decided she no longer wanted the network
to be in business with Playboy. “We want to get rid of the trashy Playboy element,” she was quoted
as saying. This hurt, since I had been trying so hard for the past few years to separate myself from that
brand.
Kendra’s show was canceled shortly after mine.
Sure, Playboy got me on television, but it was also because of Playboy that I was taken off
television. Many people assume Playboy was my blessing, but most don’t know it was also my curse.
Truth be told, I was devastated by the cancellation. The cast, production, and I continued to
bring in the ratings for the network, but Playboy cast a shadow over my life and I couldn’t escape it.
I felt terrible that I could no longer provide my castmates with the spots on the show that had
brought them so much success. I felt like the Giving Tree after the tree was reduced to a stump and
had nothing left to give anyone. I was worried that I would lose all my friends once they learned
Holly’s World was to be no more. Of course, that didn’t turn out to be the case. Josh and I, for
example, remained and still are as close as ever. Angel and I suffered an estrangement for a few
years, but sometimes that’s what success can do to friendships.
I felt like I had just begun landing lucrative endorsements and turning my press coverage around.
People had finally started saying “We love you on Holly’s World” instead of “We loved you on The
Girls Next Door.” I was scared that with the show’s cancellation, my positive momentum could be
stopped dead in its tracks.
“JUST DO IT,” my friend advised me. “They’re going to make it whether you want them to or not. You