Down the Rabbit Hole - Holly Madison

“Okay,” I giggled, knowing the cheesy line would get him through the door, but it wouldn’t get
him any further. After all, I wasn’t that drunk.
I stumbled towards the large pink bed, jumped in fully clothed, and pulled the comforter up to
my chin. As he stood over the bed and leaned in to kiss me, I erupted into a fit of laughter and turned
my head away from him.
“I can’t,” I playfully reminded him. “Remember?”
He sighed, standing back up. He reached down and removed my earrings from each ear and set
them by the bedside table.
He whispered sweet dreams softly into my ear. After walking across the room, he scrawled
something on the back page of a room service menu (a note reading: “I miss you”), tearing out the
sheet and sticking it next to my curling iron on the bathroom counter.
“Sweet dreams,” I mumbled, immediately drifting off into a peaceful sleep as he exited the suite.
When I woke the next morning to my buzzing cell phone, the last thing I expected to hear was a
ferociously angry Hef.
“Thank you,” Hef screamed so loud that my cell phone shook, “for giving me the WORST night
of my life.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked Hef defensively. Honestly, I had endured so many verbal
lashings lately that I had no idea what could have possibly been the catalyst for this outburst. After
getting permission to stay over the night before, I had called him again shortly before his 10 P.M.
bedtime to wish him good night. We traded “I love yous” and that was it. Sure, I hadn’t offered up my
dinner and clubbing plans for later that evening, because I knew he would never allow it.
“I didn’t hear anything from you last night,” he continued, screaming into the receiver. “I was up
all night sick with worry!”
“But I called you right before you went to bed . . .” I tried rationalizing with him. “I don’t
understand what you’re talking about. I had my cell phone with me all night . . .” I kept rattling on,
before realizing he had to know something. “Why were you up?” I asked.
“Security told me,” he spat. “You had a guy in your room last night!”
I paused for a moment, waiting for this information to sink in. Holy shit, I thought. He actually
had me followed.
“Nothing happened,” I said firmly and sternly. “I had a few drinks and a friend walked me in to
make sure I got into bed okay. That’s it.”
And it was. Sure, there was some definite flirting and perhaps some blurred lines on his part, but
I hadn’t done a damn thing. I had never cheated on Hef. He had slept with an army of different women
during our time together, but I remained faithful. Despite all my insecurities and regardless of how
desperate I was to have one night out, in my mind I was still in a relationship. And I was nothing if
not loyal. Whoever was trailing me around Vegas apparently didn’t relay to Hef just how quickly
Criss exited my suite.
“Oh yeah?” Hef asked, mockingly, “Well, we’ll talk about it when you get home. Thank you,” he
repeated in dramatic Hef fashion, “for giving me the worst night of my life.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear and waited for the line to disconnect. I was equal parts