Down the Rabbit Hole - Holly Madison

upcoming season and I’d once again mentioned my favorite plot idea. Bridget went on to tell me that
Hef didn’t want to tell me no on camera if the work wasn’t good enough. Hef said he wasn’t going to
approve something just because I worked on it.
“That’s FINE!” I replied, exasperated. “I don’t want him to publish my work if it isn’t good
enough! I want to learn! Plus, being able to tell me no on camera would make good drama for the
show!”
Bridget started laughing her infectious laugh. “I know,” she blurted out. “That’s what I was
thinking!”
Despite being addicted to drama in real life, Hef was adamant that no real drama or “negativity”
play out on the show. We were to be depicted as a happy family, blissfully sharing our boyfriend at
all times. I believe, because Playboy and his lifestyle were controversial enough, that he wanted to
prove to everyone that things were always just peachy inside the mansion. The network and the
producers would have liked a little drama (anyone does when making a reality show), but Hef
wouldn’t have it, hence not wanting to tell me no on camera. The irony was, of course, that he had
done so (and sometimes cruelly) many, many times in real life. He wanted to be portrayed as the best
boyfriend ever, which meant he acted quite different on camera than off. In the world of GND, you
ONLY saw his good side.
A season later, after the producers and I brought up the idea for the millionth time, Hef finally
relented and let me give the internship a try. In order to secure the internship, I was charged with
finding a potential Playmate candidate suitable for the magazine and bringing the photos to Hef for
review. I instantly remembered meeting an adorable Puerto Rican girl that Playmate Colleen Shannon
had introduced to me at an autograph signing—my first job was to track her down! When I finally
found a photo of her to show Hef, he approved her as a candidate. Tamara Sky would soon become
2007’s “Miss August,” and her Playmate shoot would mark my first official gig as a Playboy photo
intern.
Marilyn graciously welcomed me into the studio. She introduced me to Stephen Wayda, who
would be shooting Tamara’s pictorial, and walked me through proof editing for the Miss June shoot.
With great patience and care, she pointed out all the elements that make a great centerfold—and
exactly what it took in order to get Hef’s approval.
I was still trying to figure that one out! I thought, laughing to myself.
It didn’t take long before Studio West became my home away from home. In fact, I think I felt
more like myself at the studio than I ever had at the mansion. Away from Hef’s critical eye, I relaxed
and grew into my new role. Having the internship gave me a sense of great pride. The photographers
and staffers were an invaluable part of the experience, teaching me everything I needed to know. I
couldn’t believe I was actually getting centerfolds approved! I had been hearing for years that Hef
was so picky, it sometimes took weeks to get a finished centerfold. Not only did I enjoy the job, as it
turns out, I was actually good at it, too! Between my nine-to-five at the studio and all the editing
homework I was bringing back to the mansion with me, I ended up spending most of my time on the
job, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way!
When Marilyn retired, I was promoted from intern and given an actual job, with the title Junior