WHERE TO, PARKER Issue 3

Where to,
Parker?
The in-car magazine for Parker Car Service
THE STONES at
saatchi gallery
ATTENBOROUGH AT 90
WIMBLEDON, HENLEY,
ASCOT, GOODWOOD,
GLYNDEBOURNE,
THE PROMS
PLACES, PEOPLE, ARTS, CULTURE IN LONDON
Issue 3 | Summer 2016

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welcome
On the cover: Rolling Stones
archive, from Exhibitionism, at the
Saatchi Gallery, SW3 4RY, until
Sept 4.
Editorial
Editor: Dominic Bliss
Twitter: @DominicBliss
Welcome
Art editor: Anthony Collins
www.antcollins.com
Printed by: 47g Print Consultants
19 Catherine Place, London SW1E 6DX
Summertime is when London
and the Southeast burst into
bloom, both literally and culturally.
It’s when we host some of our
greatest sports and entertainment
events: Wimbledon, Henley,
Chelsea Flower Show, Royal
Ascot, Glyndebourne, Glorious
Goodwood, the Proms. Many of
these feature on our round-up
(page 18) of what used to be
known as The Season. It’s always
been a time of year when Parker
Cars buzz with activity around
London and its outskirts.
Elsewhere in this issue we
bring you a wonderful mix of
news and features. There’s a
piece on Sir David Attenborough
(not the only national treasure
celebrating his 90th birthday this
year). There’s an intriguing article
on deer culling in Richmond Park
and Bushy Park. There’s William
Shakespeare, Johnny Rotten, the
Rolling Stones, plus restaurants,
bars, shops, exhibitions, arts,
music, fashion and property.
Sit back and enjoy the ride.
And please take the magazine
home with you, if you like.
Joe Polley
Partner, Parker Car Service
parker cars
Partner: Joe Polley
Operations manager: Ian Lowe
Where to, Parker? is published by
Parker Car Service.
Unit 3, Victory Business Centre,
Fleming Way, Isleworth,
Middlesex TW7 6DB
T: 020 8560 0000
E: admin@parkercarservice.com
www.parkercarservice.co.uk
Parker Car Service makes every effort to ensure
that editorial is factually correct at the time of
going to press, but cannot accept responsibility
for any subsequent errors.
Parker Car Service is not responsible for
unsolicited material.
Copyright Parker Car Service. No part of this
publication may be reproduced without the
written permission of the publishers.
Views expressed and products appearing in
Where to, Parker? are not necessarily endorsed
by Parker Car Service.
For more information regarding Parker Car
Service, visit: www.parkercarservice.co.uk
where to, parker? 3

14
12
In this issue
6 London by day
New shops, shows, galleries and events.
8 London by night
New restaurants, bars, concerts and nightlife.
10 London news
16 House prices down the Tube
A new map shows London house prices near each
Tube station. Sorry, Barking.
18 Season ticket
Royal Ascot, Glyndebourne, the Proms, Henley
Royal Regatta, Glorious Goodwood, Wimbledon…
Your guide to the key events of what they call
The Season.
18
24
4 where to, parker?

Contents
If you were to look back at
me as a school kid you’d see a
very quiet little church mouse
kind of character.” P.49
40 40
22 Who shot Bambi?
Over 200 deer are culled in London’s Royal Parks
every year. But is there a humane alternative?
24 In the gin
A glimpse behind London’s burgeoning industry of
gin distillers. We just can’t get enough of the stuff.
28 The good, the bad and the inedible
Sharp-tongued restaurant critic Jay Rayner reveals
his best (and worst) London restaurants.
34 Born to be wild
We celebrate David Attenborough’s 90th birthday
with his finest TV moments.
36 Big Katz diary
Meet the 88-year-old painter whose energy levels
are as huge as his canvases.
40 The body beautiful
Astounding medical images from Wellcome Image
Awards.
46 London villages
The rise and rise of Kensal Rise.
48 Meet the chauffeurs
We talk to one of Parker Cars’ lovely drivers.
49 The world according to Johnny Rotten
The former Sex Pistols singer combines bluntness,
intelligence and wit.
50 Six of the best…
London lidos.
36
where to, parker? 5

get out more
London by day
All the best stuff to do
during daylight hours.
W12 7LJ
Check out rising new
bands at this year’s
Bushstock festival (June
18), with live music
staged at five venues
around the Shepherd’s
Bush area, centred on
Bush Hall. £27.50.
W2 5SH
Fancy a light lunch?
Try new vegetarian
restaurant Farmacy,
in Bayswater. “My
philosophy is that
putting nutrition first
does not compromise
good food and good
times,” says founder
Camilla Al Fayed.
TW7 4RB
Osterley House and
Park is hosting the first
ever London Flower
Show from Sept 8 to
11. There will be show
gardens, producegrowing
competitions,
flower displays, and lots
of fruit and veg to eat.
From £11.
W1J 0BD
David Hockney gets
small and intimate with
his show of 82 new
portraits in the Royal
Academy’s Sackler
Wing, July 2 to Oct 2,
£11.50.
KT8 9AU
Sneeze your way around the Hampton
Court Palace Flower Show, July 5 to 10,
which claims to be the largest flower
show in the world. The emphasis is on
environmental issues and growing your
own food.
W2 2UH
Hyde Park megafest
British Summer
Time (July 1 to 3 & 8
to 10) sees headline
acts Massive Attack,
Florence + The Machine,
Carole King, Mumford
& Sons, Take That and
Stevie Wonder. From
£59.50.
6 where to, parker?

london daylife
EC2Y 5HN
Imagine our great city ablaze thanks to
the Museum of London’s new exhibition
Fire! Fire!, marking the 350th anniversary
of the Great Fire of London. July 23 to
April 17 2017, from £8.
E20 2ST
Usain Bolt is among the
athletes competing at
the London Anniversary
Games, at the Olympic
Stadium in Stratford,
July 22 to 23. Tickets
from £20.
E16 1XL
The Force will be with you as you
immerse yourself in the exhibits,
costumes, screenings and panel
discussions at Star Wars Celebrations,
Excel, July 15-17. Non-fancy dressers will
surely stick out.
SE10 9NF
Be wowed by the 17th-
Century interiors as well
as the classic paintings
at the Queen’s House,
in Greenwich, which
reopens for its 400th
anniversary in the
autumn.
SE1 9TG
Famous for her flowers,
skulls and desert
landscapes, American
artist Georgia O’Keeffe
is the subject of a
new show at the Tate
Modern, July 6 to Oct
30, £19.
E1W 1YZ
Cocktail bar, pizza counter, florist’s,
barbershop and café… all these are on
offer at a new 6,700-square foot venue
in Wapping called Trade Union. “A grown
up playground for discerning Londoners,”
is how they describe it.
where to, parker? 7

get out more
London by night
All the best stuff to do after
the sun has gone down.
W1F 7ED
Live music, theatre, comedy and literary
events will be on offer at Live At Zédel,
a new venue that opens in Soho in
September.
SW7 2AP
The Royal Albert Hall
hosts its annual Union
Jack-waving craziness
that is The Last Night of
the Proms on Sept 10.
W1U 3DA
Sample Mediterranean
cuisine and fine wine
at new Marylebone
restaurant Blandford
Comptoir. Free monthly
wine tastings also
available.
W11 3LF
Notting Hill’s new Caribbean restaurant
Cottons offers a glorious fusion of West
Indian dishes (do not miss the signature
fish & seafood platter) plus a bar stocked
with 375 different rums. So many, they
claim it’s “set to go in the Guinness Book
of Records”.
SW1Y 4HT
Pixie Lott stars as Holly
Golightly in a new stage
adaptation of Truman
Capote’s classic New
York novella Breakfast
at Tiffany’s. Haymarket
Theatre Royal, from
June 30, tickets from
£15.
SW6 6EA
God of funk Nile
Rodgers brings his
own three-day festival
to Fulham Palace
(June 24 to 26), with
performances from the
likes of Alison Moyet
and Angie Stone. Chic
(of course) headline
every night. From £54.
8 where to, parker?

london nightlife
WC2A 2HT
Flamenco is fused with
Indian, Moroccan and
pop music in a new
show called Zik’r at
the Peacock Theatre
in Holborn. “Ecstatic
transcendence through
music and dance,” says
the star and creator
Karen Ruimy. Tickets
from £15.
EC4Y 8EJ
An old hacks’ drinking den off Fleet
Street has been turned into a new wine
bar and shop called Humble Grape.
It plans to import from independent
vineyards, “avoiding the industrystandard
mark-ups from agents,
importers or distributers”.
SE10 0DX
Spider-Man, Iron Man, Hulk, Thor and
friends will be flexing their Lycra-clad
muscles at the Marvel Universe Live!
show at The O2. Expect “pyrotechnics,
aerial stunts, martials arts, motorcycles
and more”. Sept 15 to 24.
SE1 8NB
The hilarious Tim
Minchin has composed
a new musical
Groundhog Day,
starring Andy Karl
(pictured) and based
on the 1993 Bill Murray
film. Old Vic, July 11 to
Sept 17, from £12.
SW2 5SG
The South American-style dishes at new
Brixton restaurant Barrio may be small
and tapas-like but they’re mighty tasty.
where to, parker? 9

topical london
“Thus with a kiss I die”
Shakespeare characters often meet rather sticky
ends. Stabbings, beheadings, poisonings, hangings
and multiple suicides… he makes Games of Thrones
look like a walk in the park. Now, to celebrate the
400th anniversary of the Immortal Bard’s own
departure, all 74 of his scripted deaths are crammed
into a new 90-minute play called The Complete
Deaths.
Thanks to director Tim Crouch and the four
clown actors who star, the action comes thick and
fast. There’s poor Ophelia’s drowning, Desdemona’s
smothering with a pillow, Cleopatra’s snakebite and
Portia’s suicide by eating hot coals. In King Lear,
Gloucester is blinded (“Out, vile jelly!”) and then
dies of shock. In Titus Andronicus, Aaron is buried
alive and starves, Alarbus is dismembered and
thrown in a fire, and Tamora is stabbed after eating
a pie into which both Chiron and Demetrius have
been fatally baked.
The producers promise their actors “will scale
the peaks of sublime poetry, and plumb the
depths of darkest depravity, sometimes lingeringly,
sometimes messily, sometimes movingly, sometimes
musically, always hysterically.”
The Complete Deaths, Shoreditch Town Hall, Sept
20 to Oct 1, from £18. www.spymonkey.co.uk
10 where to, parker?

topical london
Actors will scale the peaks of
sublime poetry, and plumb the
depths of darkest depravity.”
Helter skelter
It claims to be “the world’s highest and longest
tunnel slide”. You’ll have just 40 seconds, however,
to mull over the meaning of that statement as you
hurtle down the new 76 metre-high ArcelorMittal
Orbit slide at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in
Stratford. Created by Belgian artist Carsten Holler, it
twists 12 times around the enormous sculpture on
its way to the ground. Unfortunately, the rules state
that “all materials used to enhance speed are strictly
prohibited”. So leave the olive oil at home.
Opens June 24, tickets from £15.
www.arcelormittalorbit.com
World’s tallest and
longest tunnel slide:
178 metres long,
76 metres high, 40
seconds to ride at
15mph.
Marilyn Monroe’s
“personal treasures
and original
costumes” (including
the sheer beaded
dress from Some
Like It Hot) feature
in a new exhibition
at Chelsea’s Design
Centre, SW10 0XE,
May 25 to June 20,
free.
where to, parker? 11

topical london
“Incredibly intelligent,
calm and filled with ideas.”
The endlessly intriguing David
Bowie appears in a new book by
New York photographer Steve
Schapiro. Most of the images,
captured in 1974 when the singer
was in the ascendant, have never
been published before. “From
the moment Bowie arrived, we
seemed to hit it off,” Schapiro
remembers of the photo shoot
in Los Angeles. “Incredibly
intelligent, calm and filled with
ideas. When David heard that
I had photographed Buster
Keaton, one of his greatest
heroes, we instantly became
friends.”
Bowie by Steve Schapiro,
is published by powerHouse
Books.
12 where to, parker?

Stan the man
What’s the connection between a phallic sculpture,
a maze of mirrors and a public payphone? They’re
all artworks in a new exhibition at Somerset House
celebrating the films of Stanley Kubrick. Fans of
Kubrick, one of the most revered filmmakers of the
20th Century, will spot references in the various
works to films such as 2001: A Space Odyssey, A
Clockwork Orange, The Shining, Dr. Strangelove, Full
Metal Jacket and Eyes Wide Shut.
Daydreaming with… Stanley Kubrick, Somerset
House, WC2R 1LA, June 30 to August 29, £12.50.
Russian designer
Stas Zhitsky has
a new collection
of what he calls
“wearable jewellery
art”. “It allows
people to express
themselves through
their accessories but
not draw attention
to their net worth,”
he adds. This Flying
Elephant necklace is
14k white gold with
sapphires and pink
quartz, £1,970,
www.openjart.com
where to, parker? 13

topical london
A dirty weekend
at Buckingham
Palace?
It would set you back around £40,000. That’s
according to luxury property website Elysian
Estates. Using pricing algorithms, and taking into
account location, quality, size, history and facilities,
they have suggested what some of London and
the Southeast’s most impressive properties would
cost to hire for the night, including Buckingham
Palace which weighs in at £10,000 per person
per night.
Elysian Estates boss Rebecca Cole stressed that
all prices were theoretical since “currently, none of
the properties are available for private stays”. She
added: “I am confident our estimates are accurate.
And if the Queen ever did want to exclusively rent
out her castle or palace, I hope she will come to us.”
If the Queen ever did want to
rent out her castle or palace, I
hope she will come to us.”
Buckingham Palace:
£10,000 per person per night.
10 Downing Street:
£62,000 for four couples staying the night.
Windsor Castle:
£5,000 per person per night.
Beckingham Palace (aka Rowneybury House):
£8,000 per night for the whole property.
Brighton Pavilion:
£14,000 per night for the whole property.
Tate post-Modern
It’s a new era for the Tate Modern. The “world’s
most popular gallery of modern art”, which first
opened in 2000, has had a major facelift, with a
new building added (the ten-storey Switch House),
a re-hang of its existing art, and a smorgasbord of
new international works. The official re-opening is
set for June 17.
“They say that, in London, property is so
expensive that you are better off building an
extension to your house,” said Lord Browne,
chairman of the trustees. “So that’s exactly what
we did.”
14 where to, parker?

topical london
Stones uncovered
Stinking underwear is scattered across the floor, the
kitchen looks like it might harbour the ebola virus,
and the walls are so mouldy they seem to move.
You certainly wouldn’t find the Rolling Stones’s
first Chelsea flat – a disturbing recreation of which
appears in the new exhibition at the Saatchi Gallery
– advertised on Airbnb. And you wouldn’t find the
modern-day Mick and Keith within half a mile of it.
The lifestyle the Stones endured when they were
first starting out in the early 1960s couldn’t be more
different to the millionaire status they enjoy today.
Over nine galleries, Exhibitionism covers this
legendary band’s entire career from 1962 to present
day. Heavy on hagiography and light on analysis, it
is still highly entertaining, even for visitors with just a
passing interest in the band. Most intriguing of all are
the quirky memorabilia dotted throughout: rare vinyl
records, diaries, posters, magazine covers, contracts,
photos, films, videos, lyric sheets, album artwork,
stage design, costumes and lots of (perhaps too
many) guitars. It’s as if you’ve been invited into the
attic of the band’s private home and given free rein
to pour over anything you might discover up there.
Most of the exhibits elevate the band onto a
pedestal even higher than the one they already
occupy. But occasionally you’ll spot an item the PR
people let slip through. Such as the letter from the
Michigan Education Association, complaining about
the rather racy (and racist and sexist) lyrics to the
Stones’ 1978 hit Some Girls.
Exhibitionism, Saatchi Gallery, SW3 4RY,
until Sept 4, from £23.
where to, parker? 15

property
16 where to, parker?

property
house prices
down the tube
Conversation flagging at your dinner parties? This
is sure to liven things up a bit. Produced by online
estate agents eMoov, it shows the average property
prices in the areas surrounding every London Tube
station. No surprise to see High Street Kensington
and Piccadilly Circus the most expensive at £2.6
million. But spare a thought (and perhaps a tear) for
Barking, the cheapest at £237,000. emoov.co.uk
where to, parker? 17

the season
18 where to, parker?

the season
season
ticket
Whether you’re a sports fan, an opera
lover, a gambler or just a very keen party
animal, one of these classic summer events
is sure to float your boat. Get involved with
The Season, as the aristos used to call it.
Those aristocrats certainly had the right idea.
In the old days they would spend the summer
swanning from one social event to another, dressed
to the nines and consuming huge amounts of
champagne. The Chelsea Flower Show, Royal Ascot,
Glyndebourne, the Proms, Henley Royal Regatta,
Glorious Goodwood, Wimbledon... collectively they
called it The Season.
You may not be an aristocrat (well, not quite),
but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying The
Season with gusto. Follow our beginner’s guide.
The Championships, Wimbledon
All England Club, Church Rd, SW19 5AE
June 27 to July 10
It’s the world’s oldest tennis tournament. For two
weeks every summer southwest London hosts top
players on finely manicured grass courts.
What to wear Panama hats and linen suits for the
gents. Summer dresses for the ladies. Strict tennis
whites for everyone else.
How to blend in Queue all night to get in and then
breakfast of astronomically-priced strawberries and
cream.
How to get thrown out Whistle and jeer just as
Andy Murray’s opponent is about to serve.
www.wimbledon.com
where to, parker? 19

the season
Henley Royal Regatta
Royal Ascot
Henley Royal Regatta
Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire, RG9 2LY
June 29 to July 3
Staged over five days in early July, this rowing
regatta features over 200 races. They come thick
and fast, with just five minutes between each one.
What to wear Blazers, blazers, blazers. “A tie or
cravat is preferable,” suggest the officials. “Ladies
are encouraged to wear hats, and dresses and skirts
should be of modest length.” Tight Lycra if you’re in
a boat.
How to blend in Nod knowingly when experts start
talking about gunwales and stroke rates.
How to get thrown out Swim widths across the
Thames.
www.hrr.co.uk
Royal Ascot
Ascot Racecourse, Ascot, Berkshire, SL5 7JX
June 14 to 18
With over £6.5 million in prize money, competition
is fierce during the 18 horse races of Royal Ascot. Be
sure to behave yourself since the Queen is often in
attendance.
What to wear In the Royal Enclosure, men must
wear morning suits with a waistcoast and tie, plus
a black or grey top hat. Ladies must wear hats, and
dresses or skirts “of modest length” with shoulder
straps of one inch or greater.
How to blend in Wish Her Majesty a happy 90th
birthday.
How to get thrown out Get caught short and pee in
your top hat.
www.ascot.co.uk/Royal-Ascot
Glyndebourne Festival
Glyndebourne, Lewes, East Sussex, BN8 5UU
May 21 to Aug 28
When opera lovers die, Glyndebourne might be
how they imagine heaven. Every summer the
festival stages several classic operas in its 1200-seat
auditorium with guests encouraged to enjoy the
surrounding gardens.
What to wear Formal evening dress (plus scarves or
pashminas).
How to blend in Sing along in perfect soprano
Italian to La Bohème.
How to get thrown out Inquire loudly whether the fat
bloke is going to sing the theme from the World Cup.
www.glyndebourne.com
20 where to, parker?

Goodwood Festival
Goodwood House, Chichester,
West Sussex, PO18 0PX
July 26 to 30
Glorious Goodwood, as it’s known, offers five days of
thoroughbred horse racing. King Edward VII famously
described it as a “garden party with racing tacked on”.
What to wear No formal dress code for the Lennox
Enclosure, rising to smart dress for the Gordon
Enclosure, and jackets, ties, dresses and hats for the
Richmond Enclosure.
How to blend in Bend down to examine the grass
on the racecourse, scratch your chin and mutter:
“Hmm, going good to firm”.
How to get thrown out Ask when the racing cars
are coming on. (That’s Goodwood Festival of Speed,
in case you were wondering.)
www.goodwood.com
The Proms
Royal Albert Hall, SW7 2AP
July 15 to Sept 10
Most renowned for its famous last night, when the
really popular classics are played, the Proms are
classical concerts spread out over eight weeks,
played mainly at The Royal Albert Hall.
What to wear Anything red, white and blue.
How to blend in Wave your Union Jack with alacrity.
How to get thrown out Turn up in ripped jeans and
Motörhead T-shirt.
www.royalalberthall.com
Royal Ascot
Glyndebourne
Glyndebourne
where to, parker? 21

wildlife
who shot
bambi?
Over 200 deer are culled every year in
Richmond and Bushy Parks. A campaign
group says contraception can be used
instead. So why are the parks refusing?
22 where to, parker?

wildlife
The 900 or so deer that inhabit Richmond Park
and Bushy Park have a pretty cushy life. Hundreds
of acres of fresh grass, magnificent antlers, lots of
rutting, free veterinary treatment whenever they
need it, and, crucially, no predators.
Actually, that last bit isn’t true. Every spring and
autumn, for a few violent weeks, sanctioned snipers
stalk the parks at nighttime, picking off the most
infirm animals with rifles. It’s all part of an official cull.
“The cull is necessary,” a spokeswoman for
the Royal Parks told this magazine. “Without
population control, food would become scarce and
more animals would ultimately suffer. There would
also be other welfare issues such as low body fat,
malnutrition, high incidence of death from exposure
to cold in winter and a build-up of parasites
and diseases.”
The Royal Parks say around 230 deer are culled
every year by “experienced and highly skilled
marksmen”, and that both the British Deer Society
and the Deer Initiative of England and Wales “fully
endorse humane culling”.
There are two species of deer in the Royal
Parks – the larger red and the smaller fallow. In
Richmond Park both types of males are dispatched
in February, the females in November. In Bushy Park
it’s September for the males and November for the
females. There’s also a small number in Greenwich
Park which are culled in January. The meat certainly
doesn’t go to waste. According to the parks, “the
sale of venison raises approximately £30,000, and all
the money is reinvested into caring for our herds”.
But there are many deer fans vehemently
opposed to this involuntary euthanasia. Lesley Dove
is from Stop the Deer Cull which is campaigning
for deer contraception rather than execution. “This
is cruel and unnecessary and also causes a huge
amount of stress and terror to the surviving animals,”
The cull is necessary. Without
population control, food
would become scarce and
more animals would ultimately
suffer.”
Royal Parks
This is cruel and unnecessary
and also causes a huge
amount of stress and terror to
the surviving animals.”
Lesley Dove, Stop the Deer Cull
she says. “It’s time to stop Richmond and Bushy
Parks being hunting parks.”
Dove claims that, in the wild, deer live to around
12 years old but that, with the culling, their lives
are capped at four years. “Expert opinion is that
populations will regulate themselves at a sustainable
level in time, if left alone, even in the absence of
natural predators and in isolated areas,” she adds. “If
Royal Parks still feel that the deer population needs
to be further reduced, humane alternatives, such as
immunocontraception, can be used.”
The contraception she’s referring is called
GonaCon which can be administered by dart, and
works by inhibiting animals’ sex drive. “It’s been used
in the USA on various mammal species,” Dove says.
“It’s been shown to work. I believe the Royal Parks
could get a special licence for it. If we keep deer in
an enclosed park, we also have a responsibility to
find a humane way to control their numbers.”
But the Royal Parks remain intransigent,
saying that “there are no contraceptives licensed
for the UK”.
Meanwhile, the old deers had better keep their
heads down.
where to, parker? 23

london gin
in the gin
Not since William Hogarth’s time in the
18th Century has London been so awash
with gin distillers and gin bars. Here’s
a glimpse behind the scenes of this
burgeoning industry.
Right: the beautiful
stills at Chiswick’s
Sipmsith Distillery
which claims to be
“the first new copper
distillery to open its
doors in London since
1820”. (Tours available,
www.sipsmith.com).
Left: the Graphic Gin
Off (at Graphic Bar in
Soho) where gin brands
compete towards a
competition final in
November. Below:
drinkers make their own
gin at The Ginstitute
in Notting Hill (www.
theginstitute.com).
24 where to, parker?

feature
where to, parker? 25

london gin
Top, left to right:
the Sipsmith team
of Jared, Sam and
Fairfax. They love a bit
of tweed. Bottom left:
the Sipsmith Distillery.
Bottom right: finalists
in the Graphic Gin
Off (at Graphic Bar
in Soho).
Bartenders are studying,
reading and researching as
never before.”
Sipsmith
26 where to, parker?

feature
Above and left: the
amazing tasting bar
at The Ginstitute in
Notting Hill. Below:
ingredients at the
Sipsmith Distillery.
where to, parker? 27

feature
LEVON BISS
28 where to, parker?

interview
the good, the bad
and the inedible
He’s one of the most read, most amusing
(and occasionally most vitriolic) food
critics in the country. Jay Rayner explains
what makes a good restaurant. And, most
funny of all, what makes a bad one.
Jay Rayner dines in around 100 restaurants a
year. This food critic estimates that, since he
started writing his popular column in the Observer
newspaper 15 odd years ago, he has eaten out
around 1,500 times. All of them for free. Mostly
enjoyable experiences. Some absolute shockers.
Anyone who has read his columns knows that
it’s the shockers that make for the best reading. He
described a £282 lunch at Quatro Passi as “a pallid
fart of mediocrity”. At Leon de Bruxelles, he said
the mussels looked like “the retracted scrotum of
a hairless cat”. Blue Boar Smokehouse’s banana
ketchup was, he opined, “the worst thing I have put
in my mouth since the incident with the washing-up
liquid when I was seven”. At Beast, the rib-eye steak
was so expensive he suggested the waiters “lead
the damn animal into the restaurant and install it
under the table so it can pleasure me while I eat”.
And then there was Novikov, hang-out of wealthy
Russian oligarchs, which he said was “packed to the
fake ironwork with the hooting and the depilated,
the bronzed and Botoxed”. For that last review he
got death threats from Russia.
Surprisingly Jay has never been physically
assaulted for his culinary opinions. Neither chef nor
restaurateur has exacted revenge. “Actually, I was
accosted once,” he remembers suddenly. “Some
bloke came up to me outside The Wolseley and
told me I was absolutely wrong about the breakfast
and that their sausages were sh*t. He was really
aggressive. It was bizarre. This normal, middle-class
man who had obviously experienced The Wolseley
sausage and found it lacking. And then decided to
shout at me about it.”
Aside from the sausage-hater, all the vitriol and
repartee aimed at Jay have been the online type.
Look at his restaurant reviews and the readers’
comments are almost as amusing as his own
acerbic opinions.
“How do they get these food-porn photos?
Either Jay has a hidden Leica in his nostril or they
go back after the event,” says one.
where to, parker? 29

“Jay Rayner talking about bacon turns me on,”
reveals another.
There are numerous complaints about the prices
charged by the restaurants Jay reviews. “Meal for
two, £120. Enough said. My wife and I don’t spend
that much on food to last a week. These people are
from a different planet,” says one.
“He’ll be back in London sneering at some place
he can’t afford to eat in next week,” says another.
And make what you will of this recent comment:
My reviews get more
comments about seating than
anything else. I think I’m read
by a significant number of late
middle-aged men with piles.”
“Pork cheeks stuffed with sausage meat and
covered in a salty hand-made white sauce.”
As well as negative feedback, there are other
hazards to being a food critic. So many free dinners
mean excess calories. “It’s a writing job, not an
eating job, but you can’t do it unless you like the
eating,” Jay explains. “And I’m a greedy bastard
which is why I’m in the gym four or five times
a week. Compensating with gym work is never
entirely successful but it keeps me the size of a small
bungalow rather than a complete house.”
On three occasions, food poisoning has reared
its ugly head but, fortunately for Jay, it was his
dining companions rather than he who fell sick. Not
willing to risk a defamation suit, he had to remain
button-lipped about the bacteria. “You cannot, in a
review, say you were poisoned unless you can track
the bug from the kitchen onto the plate and through
the digestive tract and out the other end. Otherwise
it’s libellous. So I phoned the restaurants and told
BELLA WEST
30 where to, parker?

interview
He described a £282 lunch at
Quatro Passi as “a pallid fart
of mediocrity”. At Leon de
Bruxelles, he said the mussels
looked like “the retracted
scrotum of a hairless cat”
them about the poisoning but agreed I wasn’t going
to mention it in my column.”
While nasty microbes should probably top the
list of any food critic’s pet hates, there are several
other restaurant faux pas that really get Jay’s goat.
He despises concept menus. He’s infuriated by
waiters who try to memorise orders without writing
them down; or who hover, constantly filling up wine
glasses and asking “How is everything?”. He can’t
stand “serving implements that aren’t actual plates”.
(“Delivering food to the table in a wheelbarrow,
served on a piece of slate just doesn’t work.”). He
says there’s no excuse for uncomfortable chairs.
(“My reviews get more comments about seating
than anything else. I think I’m read by a significant
number of late middle-aged men with piles.”) Overly
loud music annoys him, as does lavish restaurant
decor, “where you know your bill is paying the
interior designer’s mortgage”. Deconstructed dishes,
such as a “prawn cocktail where the Marie Rose
sauce has been made into an ice cream”, drive him
to distraction. But what really gets on his “sizeable
tits”, as he puts it, are menus that are ridiculously
over-written. “Hand-dived scallops and seashoreforaged
mussels, lightly kissed with chef’s signature
sauce, all laid on a sumptuous bed of vegetables of
the moment. Aargh! I can’t stand it!”
Jay is by no means all negative, however. He
is incredibly complimentary when restaurants get
things right. His favourite place to eat in London is
Bentley’s, on Swallow Street. “Brilliant service, great
food. I pull up to the seafood bar there, watch them
shuck oysters, and I’m a very happy man.”
In fact, if he was ever to open a restaurant of his
own (“Not that I ever would, you understand”), he
says it would be modelled vaguely on Bentley’s. “I’m
most impressed by bustling brasseries that deliver
Jay’s faves
Which London restaurants does Jay Rayner love
the most?
Bentley’s
(oyster bar and grill)
11-15 Swallow St, W1B 4DG
The Wolseley
(European café/restaurant)
160 Piccadilly, W1J 9EB
Barshu Restaurant
(Sichuan Chinese)
28 Frith St, W1D 5LF
Barrafina
(Spanish tapas)
10 Adelaide St, WC2N 4HZ
The Palomar Restaurant
(Spanish/ North African)
34 Rupert St, W1D 6DN. “But only if you’re
sitting at the bar.”
The Ivy
(international-style restaurant)
1-5 West St, WC2H 9NQ. “Sorry if it’s annoying
to choose this one.”
great food: The Wolseley, The Delaunay, The Colony.
The food is never going to set the world alight with
innovation, but that’s not the point.”
What about fast food? Does Jay have anything
good to say about the lowest end of London’s food
offering?
“I’ve got quite a lot of good to say about
Nando’s,” he insists. “There is nothing specifically
wrong with McDonald’s, Burger King, Nando’s or
KFC. As long as you’re not eating there once a week.
As long as it’s a very occasional treat.” Of all the
fast-food chains, he puts Pret A Manger and Asian
restaurants itsu near the top of his list.
But there is one chain he won’t, under any
circumstances, sanction. “There is something wrong
with Pizza Hut,” he says. “They’re sh*t.”
For details of Jay Rayner’s live shows, visit
www.jayrayner.co.uk
where to, parker? 31

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feature
photo: John Stillwell/PA Images
34 where to, parker?

david attenborough
born to be wild
The Queen isn’t the only national treasure celebrating a 90th
birthday this year. As Sir David Attenborough (born May 8, 1926)
becomes a nonagenarian, we salute him by picking out a greatest
hits of his TV moments.
Zero gravity
David experiences zero gravity in a NASA aeroplane
nicknamed “the vomit comet”. “I am flying in an
aircraft on a very special course which, in effect,
cancels out the effect of gravity so I float easily
through the air,” he says to camera as he bobs
around inside the plane and tries to drink globules of
water from a glass. “Our plane is climbing and diving
as though it were on a giant rollercoaster. It really
lifts you out of your seat and keeps you there.”
Dolphin conversations
While swimming with dolphins, David explains how
they communicate. “They use ultrasonic clicks and
have a huge range of whistles. Over 30 different
sounds have been identified, each with a different
meaning. Every dolphin has its own particular name
whistle. One will attract the attention of another
by whistling this call sign just as we will shout to
someone using his name. Baby dolphins have
name whistles that are derived from their mothers;
inherited, rather like human surnames.”
Spitting cobra
Sporting a protective face visor, David goads a
Mozambique cobra to spit venom in his face. “It’s
watching me, waiting to see if I get too close for
its liking. Venom spurts from its fangs! As it spits, it
turns its head from side to side so that the jets have
the best chance of hitting my eyes. I was well and
truly sprayed. Every one of those dots is a bead of
venom. If any one of them had gone in my eye, I
would be now blind and in extreme pain.”
Killer whales
Off the Patagonian coast, killer whales swim up onto
the beach to capture sea lions before dragging them
out to sea. “This savage beating may be to separate
hide from flesh,” David suggests. “But very often
the successful hunter takes its victim straight out to
sea without even killing it and there it plays with its
catch as if it were exulting in triumph.”
Penguin huddle
“The males lock together in tightly packed huddles
as they struggle to keep warm,” David says of the
Antarctic penguins. “These huddles constantly shift
and change as each penguin works its way towards
the warmer interior. Crammed into this scrum, the
birds are remarkably good-natured. But they have to
be: if the huddle breaks, even for a moment, precious
heat escapes. It’s imperative they reform as quickly
as possible for, only by acting as one, can the males
withstand the elements and protect their eggs.”
Birds of paradise
You can hear the emotion in David’s voice as he
observes a blue bird of paradise’s mating display
in New Guinea. “To me, the most remarkable and
thrilling display of all is that of the blue bird. As he
quivers and trembles, he sings as extraordinary
and un-birdlike a song as comes from the throat
of any bird.”
Gorillas
Who can forget that now infamous close encounter
with gorillas in Rwanda? “Sometimes they even
allow others to join in,” says David as he is gently
mauled. Then the huge silverback approached.
“Though they may play games, you don’t forget
that these are the rules of the forest, and the great
silverback is king of the whole group,” he adds. “He’s
so enormously strong that he need fear nothing
except a man armed with a spear or a gun.”
where to, parker? 35

Main image: Anna,
oil on linen, 2015.
Photo of Alex Katz
by Vivien Bittencourt.
36 where to, parker?

art
Almost 90 years old, New York artist
Alex Katz has a daily fitness regime that’s
as big and energetic as his paintings.
On the eve of his new London exhibition,
Dominic Bliss speaks to him.
big katz
diary
At the age of 88, Alex Katz is
enjoying a creative output more
vigorous than ever. He produces
around 50 paintings a year, many
of them up to 20 feet high, and
happily works seven-hour days. To
reach the canvases he often has to shimmy up and
down ladders.
It’s a work schedule that requires a certain fitness.
“Every morning I do 300 push-ups, 200 regular situps,
200 half sit-ups, and a bunch of stretches,” he
says. “That’s every day of the year. Then, in summer,
I go into heavy swimming, running and bike riding. A
lot of days I’ll finish a painting and be totally wiped
out. Then I’ll run three miles, swim a mile, and then
paint for another hour or two. It means I have no
physical problems with a 20-foot painting.”
Fortunately all that physical effort is being well
rewarded. “I’m making more money now than I ever
did,” he says, a statement that from a man of his
where to, parker? 37

A lot of days I’ll finish a
painting and be totally wiped
out. Then I’ll run three miles,
swim a mile, and then paint for
another hour or two.”
age, in the autumn of his life, somehow doesn’t sound
vaguely arrogant. “When I was young I had a lot of
time and no money. Now I have a lot of money and
the time is getting eaten up. I don’t have long to go.”
The flash lifestyle of a coveted artist is not for
him, however. “I don’t want to change the way I’m
living. I’m painting pretty much like I was when I was
a kid. I have very simple tastes. What do I want with
a sailboat that will take me out of the studio? What
do I want with a bigger house? What do I want with
a house in Mexico and all that travelling?”
It’s been a long, hard journey to this level of
success. Born in New York City, in 1927, the son of
a Russian-Jewish émigré (who relocated to the
US when the communists appropriated his stove
factory), he studied at The Cooper Union in New
York City and the Skowhegan School in Maine. As a
young artist he supplemented his meagre income by
carving frames and later teaching.
“For ten years I was really rock bottom,” he
remembers. “I was getting by on $1,800 a year. No
doctor, no dentist, no new clothes. The cut-off was
that I had money for cigarettes or taxi cabs when
I wanted them. So I wouldn’t be impoverished, just
poor.” He was almost 40 before he started painting
full-time.
Lean, wiry and shaved bald, Katz has one of
those endlessly expressive faces that you can’t
take your eyes off; like an actor’s. When he says
something funny he widens his eyes, waiting for you
to laugh. If a question troubles him he screws up his
face momentarily while he contemplates it.
Once a contemporary of Jackson Pollock and
Franz Kline, Katz remembers the hedonism of that
1950s New York art scene. While his peers were
soaking themselves in drugs and alcohol, he realised
he needed to clean up his act.
“Pollock was completely wasted at 35 or 40
years old, on booze and drugs, not taking care of his
body,” Katz says. “I didn’t want to be like those older
38 where to, parker?

art
Left: Sunset 5,
oil on linen, 2008.
Below: Snow Scene 2,
oil on linen, 2014.
guys. They were hanging round the bars all the time.
Franz Kline would come in at 8 o’clock and start
drinking until 2 or 3 in the morning, and then go off
and paint. I didn’t want to live like that.” In contrast,
Katz started putting in the hours at the gym and on
the squash court.
It was in the 1980s that he finally cemented
his place in the New York art scene thanks to big,
bold and very simple figurative paintings; almost
cartoonish in their simplicity, advertising billboard
in their scale. There have been landscapes, flowers,
animals and many portraits of poets, artists, writers,
models, dancers and wealthy New Yorkers. He has
painted his wife, Ada, over 250 times.
For ten years I was really rock
bottom. No doctor, no dentist,
no new clothes. The cut-off
was that I had money for
cigarettes or taxi cabs when I
wanted them.”
Katz splits his time between New York City and
rural Maine. He spends his winters in the former
(in an artists’ cooperative building which is more
luxurious than it sounds) and his summers in the
latter. Strangely, his migration between the two is
controlled by the mating season of Maine’s “real
bad” black flies. “They bite,” he says. “If you get
enough of them you go to hospital because of the
poison.” Both locations have studios large enough
to accommodate his huge canvases.
His latest exhibition – at the Serpentine Gallery, in
Hyde Park – is as huge as ever. It concentrates on his
landscapes but also features recent portraits. Some
are up to 20 feet wide and 12 feet tall. Like his work
output, they are by no means subtle.
He admits the size of his paintings can be
daunting. “When I do these big pictures I’m always
a little scared. When I started out I was really
scared. I was frightened of whether I could do it or
not. I started with these figure compositions and
no one had done anything like it. But they worked
out crudely. Now they’re not so crude as when I
started.”
Alex Katz is showing at the Serpentine Gallery,
W2 3XA, until Sept 11, free.
where to, parker? 39

photography
Inside the human
eye, by Peter Maloca
(University of Basel).
This 3D picture shows
the tiny blood vessels
(0.1mm tall) behind a
human eye. The blood
cells are not visible as
they are moving too
fast to be scanned.
These images are used
by doctors to spot
signs of eye disease.
40 where to, parker?

photography
THE BODY
BEAUTIFUL
These amazing medical images
feature in the 2016 Wellcome Image
Awards at the Science Museum.
where to, parker? 41

photography
Swallowtail butterfly,
by Daniel Saftner
(Macroscopic
Solutions). Butterflies
have large, round
eyes to spot rapid
movements, antennae
for smelling, and a
feeding tube which
unrolls and is used
to drink nectar from
flowers.
42 where to, parker?

photography
Below, top left: Cow
heart, by Michael Frank
(Royal Veterinary
College). Four times
the size of a human
heart, this cow’s heart
has had windows cut
into it to show vets
what lies inside.
Below, top right:
Detecting stroke
by Nicholas Evans
(University of
Cambridge). This scan
shows (in green) a
blocked blood vessel
which could cause a
stroke.
Bottom: Black henna
allergy by Nicola
Kelley (Cardiff & Vale
University Hospital).
This girl has blisters
on her arm where
chemicals in the henna
have caused an allergic
reaction.
where to, parker? 43

photography
44 where to, parker?

photography
Left: Premature baby
receiving light therapy,
by David Bishop
(Royal Free Hospital,
London). The baby is
treated in an incubator,
beneath ultraviolet
light, its eyes covered.
Below: Engineering
human liver tissue,
by Fortin, Stevens &
Bhatia (Koch Institute).
Human liver grows
inside a mouse’s body,
using the mouse’s
blood. Researchers
hope implants like this
will eventually repair
human livers.
The pathways of nerve fibres in the brain. The
golden scales on a Madagascan moth. The furred
arteries in the body of a stroke victim. An allergic
reaction to a henna tattoo. A premature baby
receiving light therapy. These, and other astounding
medical sights are among the images on display at
the 2016 Wellcome Image Awards.
“The images not only capture the imagination
but help bring complex concepts to life,” says
BBC medical correspondent Fergus Walsh who
presented this year’s awards. “From otherworldly
pictures to intricate close-ups, these spectacular
images draw you in and tell important stories about
medical research today.”
The pictures are on display at the Science Museum
(SW7 2DD) until June 19.
where to, parker? 45

The rise of Kensal
The bit where we spotlight one of London’s lesser-known but
very wonderful quarters.
Vogue magazine once dubbed Chamberlayne Road,
the main artery running through Kensal Rise, “the
hippest street in Europe”, and the locals have had a
spring in their step ever since. The area (many see
Kensal Rise and Kensal Green as interchangeable)
has benefitted from Trustafarians who have moved
here to breed after realising they could trade their
one-bedroom flats in Notting Hill for family homes.
Great streets
Although it’s currently snarled up with enormous
roadworks, the long north-to-south Chamberlayne
46 where to, parker?

london villages
Clockwise from top
left: gift shop Rise;
olives at Brooks
Butchers; wine shop
cum wine bar Borough
Wines; Italian produce
at Kandana deli;
Minkies Deli; Roman
Catholic Church of the
Transfiguration; Circus
Antiques.
Road is quickly transforming itself from tacky high
street to a mix of trendy boutiques and lovely, yet
unpretentious restaurants. College Road has its
charms, too.
Great pubs
The Chamberlayne, which serves enormous steaks;
The Island, with its terrace for sunny days and snug
for cold ones; The Whippet Inn, with “craft beers,
interesting wines and a secret garden”. Shabby
chic cocktail bar The Shop, with its South American
snacks.
Great shops
Homeware shop Smiths, florist Scarlet and Violet,
antique shop Circus Antiques, Kandana deli, Brooks
Butchers (where staff are “more than happy to show
off their butchery skills”), and gift shop Rise (“quirky
and fun gifts, cards and frippery”).
Great restaurants
The excellent Borough Wines is a wine shop, beer
shop and wine bar, all rolled into one. Comptoir
Mezze serves Lebanese and Moroccan food. Minkies
Deli offers breakfasts, sandwiches, Moroccan hot
dishes, and superb coffee. For seriously good pizza,
try Sacro Cuore.
Great park
Queens Park has an ambitious adventure
playground for older kids and a giant sandpit and
paddling pool for toddlers. There’s also a pitch-andputt
golf course.
Great cinema
The Lexi Cinema on Chamberlayne Road is an
independent boutique cinema, staffed by volunteers,
with all profit going to charity.
Did you know?
Kensal Green Cemetery is the final resting place
of Isambard Kingdom Brunel, William Thackeray,
Anthony Trollope and Harold Pinter. Famous Kensal
residents still breathing include (or have included)
Jade Jagger, Sophie Dahl, Jamie Cullum, Daniel
Craig, Lily Allen, Eddie Izzard and Louis Theroux.
where to, parker? 47

parker driver
Meet your chauffeur
The bit where we talk to one of Parker’s lovely drivers.
Chris Orphanou has been driving
for Parker Cars since 2014. He
lives in Worcester Park and is
father of two boys and a girl.
Where do you most love driving
in London?
Along the South Bank in the early
evening. You can appreciate the
beauty of the iconic architecture
of London. It never gets boring.
If money was no object, what car
would you drive?
A top of the range Mercedes-
AMG ML 63.
What qualities do minicab
drivers need?
You need to have an aura – both
physical and mental – together
with the patience of a saint, and
high-quality driving skills.
Favourite radio station while
driving?
LBC, Magic 105.4 FM or Smooth
London.
Your top five driving songs?
Careless Whisper by George
Michael, Candle in the Wind
1997 by Elton John, Ave Maria
by Andrea Bocelli, Time to Say
Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli and
Sarah Brightman, Hallelujah by
Alexander Burke.
If you could be a professional
driver in another domain?
I’d like to drive any vehicle under
competitive conditions – a gokart,
Formula One car etc. I
hear the Renault Sport F1 team
are looking for new drivers. I’m
preparing my CV now.
If you were the transport
secretary, what London traffic
rules would you change?
I would ensure all vehicles –
cycles included – have a number
plate, insurance and proper
licence. Cycles in particular cause
disruption on public highways
due to their sheer volume, and
many are allowed to get away
with infringing the Highway Code.
I would reduce the number of
speed cameras unless it can be
proven they eliminate accidents.
I hear the Renault Sport F1 team are
looking for new drivers. I’m preparing
my CV now.”
What’s your best advice for new
London drivers?
Familiarise yourself with London
on foot or as a passenger before
you consider getting behind the
wheel of a car. By mapping the
geography in your head you’ll
be able to navigate with ease
and confidence. Make sure your
vehicle is roadworthy and insured.
The one place in London you’d
avoid driving?
I’m not keen on driving in the City
of London due to its excessive
parking restrictions, plethora of
cyclists and safety cameras, and
traffic volumes.
The most famous person you’ve
had in the back of your minicab?
Two VIPs who made a
significant impression on me
were the TV presenters Sir
David Attenborough and Kirsty
Gallacher.
48 where to, parker?

LONDONERS QUOTED
The world according to…
Johnny Rotten
John Lydon, aka Johnny
Rotten, has always brilliantly
combined bluntness,
intelligence and wit. The
former Sex Pistols singer may
have relocated from London to
California, but he’s still coming
out with real gems.
“Who’d have thought it? An ugly, working-class git
from north London, living the Californian dream.”
“F**k deodorant! I prefer to sweat, thank you very
much.”
“My wife Nora says my hairstyle makes me look like
a gay turnip.”
“Sometimes the most positive thing you can be in
a boring society is absolutely negative.”
“Love is two minutes and 52 seconds of squelching
noises.”
“Don’t accept the old order. Get rid of it.”
“I think national pride leads to nothing but wars
and hate.”
“If you were to look back at me as a school kid
you’d see a very quiet little church mouse kind
of character.”
“If you are pissing people off, you know you are
doing something right.”
“Meat isn’t murder, it’s delicious.”
“Remaining childish is a tremendous state of
innocence.”
“When you come from desperate poverty – and
that’s exactly what I come from – you know that
nonsenses are not to be tolerated. I’m not sure who
gains from chaos, but I know it’s not the poor folks
in the council flats.”
“I hate the technological rip-offs that pass for music
formats these days, and go back to vinyl to hear a
good record because the sound is always so much
fuller.”
“Being born into the Royal Family is like being
born into a mental asylum. Marrying into it is not
something to be taken lightly.”
“Move to Italy. I mean it: they know about living in
debt. They don’t care. They’ve really got it sussed.
Nice cars. Sharp suits. Great food. Stroll into work
at 10am. Lunch from 12 till 3. Leave work at 5.
That’s living.”
“I’m just permanently agitated by everything and
everyone.”
[On UKip]
“A black hole for the ignorant to fall into. That’s it.
Farage? I wonder what the roots of that name are. I
think he’s faragical.”
[On religion]
“I like lime-flavoured yoghurt. The end. There is
no religion. It’s a man-made fabrication. Once you
understand that, you’ll be a happier individual.
Atheism is as pointless as satanism.”
“My words are my bullets.”
where to, parker? 49

london’s finest
Six of the best
The bit where we bring you the very greatest of London life.
This time it’s the capital’s best outdoor swimming pools.
Tooting Bec Lido
Ninety-one metres long, this
is the biggest pool in London
which means, even at the height
of summer, you’ll find space to
splash around. And while you’re
splashing, be sure to admire the
Pantone-coloured changing huts.
It’s normally open from May to
September, with lengthy queues
on hot summer weekends.
Tooting Bec Rd, SW16 1RU
www.placesforpeopleleisure.org/
centres/tooting-bec-lido
Brockwell Lido
It’s known locally as Brixton
Beach. Originally built in 1937 and
then refurbished in 2007, this
50-metre pool is surrounded by
art deco Grade-II listed buildings
that give you a sense of history as
you swim. The Lido Café serves
great coffee.
Dulwich Rd, SE24 0PA
www.fusion-lifestyle.com
Hillingdon Sports and
Leisure Complex
First constructed in 1935, when
it was known as Uxbridge Lido,
this Grade II-listed, 50-metre pool
was refurbished in 2010. Douse
Hillingdon Sports
and Leisure Complex
yourself in the fountains at either
end while the kids play in the
neighbouring splash pool. Open
from spring until autumn.
Gatting Way, UB8 1ES
www.fusion-lifestyle.com
London Fields Lido
This 50-metre pool is where
Hackney hipsters go for a dip,
so expect lots of impressive
beards and tattoos. Saved from
demolition, and re-opened in
2006, it is now heated all year
round. Regular swimmers here
were the subject of a recent book
by Madeleine Waller called East
London Swimmers.
London Fields West Side, E8 3EU
www.better.org.uk/leisure/
london-fields-lido
Hampton Pool
On Christmas morning every
year hundreds of locals brave the
mid-winter temperatures to take
a dip in this 36-metre pool in the
Hampton Pool
southwest suburbs. Even if it’s
snowing. That’s because the pool
is heated all year round, whatever
the weather. There’s a slide
for kids and a smaller pool for
learners. A series of pop concerts
is staged poolside every summer,
with Paul Young, ABC and Nik
Kershaw performing this year.
High St, TW12 2ST
www.hamptonpool.co.uk
Oasis Sports Centre
A whopping 28 metres in length!
In the West End you’re lucky to
find a park that’s 28 metres long,
let alone an outdoor swimming
pool. All of which makes this
facility, just off High Holborn, extra
special. An oasis in the city, you
might say. Needless to say, on hot
weekend days you’ll struggle to
swing a cat, let along complete
a length.
32 Endell St, WC2H 9AG
www.better.org.uk/venues/oasissports-centre
50 where to, parker?

parker cars
airport meet and
greet service
If you are arriving at
Heathrow Airport any time
soon, Parkers are unique in
providing new and improved
personal meet-and-greet staff
at Heathrow.
Our meet-and-greet representatives are
dressed in distinctive green jackets with
black trousers or skirts. They are generally
found by the arrivals barrier where they
will be standing with your designated driver
who will help carry your luggage to the car.
We monitor the status of flights, checking
arrival times to ensure that you are met,
even if your plane is early or running late.
If you require additional time at the airport
to freshen up or for shopping, simply
arrange to meet us at a pre-determined
time after the flight has landed.
Let the Parker meet-and-greet
professionals take the stress out of your
travel, eliminating any queuing, waiting
time or fuss.
Book online, by app,
by phone or by email.
Parker Car Service
T: 020 8560 0000 | E: admin@parkercarservice.com
www.parkercarservice.co.uk

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