Joseph Epstein

can take the emergency
physician away from the
surgeon but you can’t take
the surgeon out of my father.
When I had my first child, the
day we came home from the
hospital my father bought
me a clothes dryer. He said
that it would give me back
some of the time in the day
lost by having a child. Sitting
in our back garden after he
had installed it he told me
that through all the years
of working as a doctor one
thing he knew for certain was
that new mothers needed
and deserved some amount
of time, every day, on their
own even – if only half an
hour. He told me that this is
what he said to every new
mother he treated at the
hospital. I learnt that being
a doctor means seeing the
humanity of your patient.
I think I have always known
how lucky I am to have Joe as
my father. But over the years I
have also learnt that everyone
is entitled to be cared for
by a doctor just like Joe.
Advice about a work issue
I checked my watch. 45 minutes before I need to
leave, almost enough time for one question.
‘Joe,’ I said.
He turned around. I knew from the
change in his breathing and posture
that I had his complete attention.
‘I’ve got this meeting tomorrow and …’
I outlined the situation as I saw it.
Half of his mouth smiled. I started
to describe my solution.
He interrupted. ‘Well …’ Or rather, it came
out as a low grumbling drawl, ‘welllll’. I
knew it was time to listen. I settled in.
He covered corporate psychology, epistemology,
heuristics and philosophy. I learnt about the
one and the many, the difference between
shame and guilt, and how the politics of
scarcity breeds internecine warfare.
In the end I had an answer. Not the answer I expected
and not the answer to the original question, but
the answer to the question I should have asked.
‘Thanks Joe,’ I said.
I checked my watch. I’ll only be a little bit late.
Sandy Hopper | son-in-law and emergency physician
Sarah Epstein
40 | A tribute to Joseph Epstein