Celebrating Pat

Celebrating Pat
A Life in Full Circle

Celebrating Pat
As told by George Copa
Produced by Family Heirloom Arts
www.FamilyHeirloomArts.com
Portland, Oregon
George Copa: Memorist, Writer, Oral Historian, Author
and Photography Editor
Kristin Cooper: Memorist, Writer, Editor and
Photography Editor
Vincent Copa: Memorist, Editor and Consultant
Owen Cooper, Emma Cooper, Grace Copa, Nathan Copa:
Contributing Artists and Writers
Lisa Kagan: Director, Oral Historian, Writer, Artist,
Photography Editor and Book Designer
Jane Plihal: Editor and Proofreader
Ellen Wax: Proofreader
Content for this book is based on oral history interviews of
George Copa, Kristin Cooper, Vincent Copa, Philip Cooper,
Alicia Copa, Anita Murphy, Mary Lou Shaw, Linda Barnes,
Joanne Murphy, Claudia Murphy and Thomas Murphy.
Interviews were conducted by George Copa and Lisa Kagan
during 2009-2010.
Copyright © 2011
George Copa and his heirs
All rights reserved. Reproduction of the whole or any part of the contents
without permission is prohibited.
Printed by Stevens Printing,
Portland, Oregon.
Book binding by Grossenbacher Bros., Inc.
Front Cover Caption:
A collection of images celebrating Pat and her relationships
with her family.
Cover design and heirloom art images by Lisa Kagan.
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Contents
A Vibrant Spirit Blossoms
8
Caring for Causes
70
Caring for People
86
Caring for Animals
128
Caring for Adventure
154
A Year of Serendipity
178
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For Patricia Murphy Copa
Like us for you
A labor of love
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About This Book
The purpose of this book is to help honor Pat Copa. At its
heart, this project has been conceived and motivated by the
desire to keep her story alive for her grandchildren: Nathan,
Grace, Emma and Owen. Our aim is that they will pick up
this book and find it grounding and insightful at many times
throughout their lives as they ask, “I wonder what Grandma
would think or say about this?”
With the grandchildren in mind, this book has been
written in my voice and is meant to take the form of a conversation
or story. The first chapter, entitled “A Vibrant Spirit
Blossoms,” is a biographical collection of stories and images,
which takes us through the different phases of Pat’s life in
chronological order. The title highlights the way Pat’s indomitable
spirit grew out of many of her early life experiences. The
opening chapter is followed by four theme chapters, which
illuminate major aspects of Pat’s character—caring for causes,
people, animals and adventure. Each theme also characterizes
a strength of one of our grandchildren. Each grandchild
embodies a part of Pat’s living heritage—strengths they can
use as a guide and others can recognize and enjoy as they
grow and develop. The theme chapters are presented in the
birth order of the grandchildren from oldest to youngest. The
final chapter is entitled “A Year of Serendipity” and highlights
the last year of Pat’s life. That year unfolded almost as if it
had been predestined to be her last year with resolution of
ongoing worries, happy memories and deeply heartfelt conversations.
The chapter concludes with insights that can be
drawn from Pat’s life put forth as hopes and wishes for each of
the grandchildren as individuals and collectively.
The initial impetus for this book came from Kristin. She
was inspired by a family history workshop she participated in
with Lisa Kagan, and conceived of the idea of creating a book
in honor of Pat. Kristin also made many special and creative
contributions when I got stuck at points during the writing
process, when we were searching for just the right words for
a key passage in the narrative. She was my trusted partner
in every meeting with Lisa Kagan over a period of two years
as we worked through purpose, organization, textual content
and picture selection. Vince served as an invaluable consultant
and editor for tone and content. Because he was more
physically distant, living in Minnesota while Kristin and I
were in Oregon as was Lisa, Vince served an independent
third party advisor. We relied on him to maintain a big picture
perspective as we worked through the details, give honest
feedback so we did not overlook important pieces and give
balanced attention to the components of Pat’s life.
As Kristin, Vince and I moved forward with developing
the book, it became more than a story of Pat’s life with us. The
planning and organizing, workshops with the grandchildren,
interviews, sorting through family files and editing hundreds
of photos became a healing process for each of us and the
other people mourning Pat’s loss. It often brought both smiles
and tears (more of the former) as we relived everyday life
and special events with her. It provided us an opportunity to
reminisce and record our thoughts about Pat, many of which
we wanted to preserve and would otherwise fade with the
passing of time. This book provides a space to bring the many
anecdotes and artifacts of a family’s experience together into
some kind of order. It should be clear as you read this book
that we are very proud of Pat and exceedingly grateful that
we had the special opportunity to know her intimately, to love
her deeply and to be unconditionally loved by her. Now that
we have experienced some time without her, we have come to
more fully understand and sincerely appreciate Pat’s force of
personality, character, love, commitments, energy and competence
in positively shaping her life, our lives and the lives of
those around her. She must be smiling at this heritage.
With special love and regard,
George, Kristin and Vince, November 4, 2010
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A Vibrant Spirit Blossoms
Pat was born in the Pacific Northwest and the region
drew her back years later. As she grew as a person,
she was able to build on her strengths and sources
of inspiration to find a place that fulfilled her, gave her
peace and brought so much to the people in her life. Even
as a young person, she was giving of herself, willing to
put her needs behind those of others, clear-headed about
what she wanted and an organizer and leader who could
competently direct and balance multiple activities at the
same time. As she went out on her own, she demonstrated
her hard-working nature with high standards for herself
and others, gracious social ability at creating a feeling of
comfort and unwillingness to be patient with incompetence
and unfairness. As an adult, she showed her skills
in creating a special home, loving family, and productive
workplace in her signature style with a spirited smile, twinkling
eyes, a quick and independent mind, untiring energy
and personal drive.
Pat's Origins, Simple Beginnings
Pat’s mother, Anita Delores Pauley, was of Italian, Swiss
and German heritage. She was born on June 14, 1922 in
Stillwater, Minnesota. Anita was the youngest of six children
in her family and grew up on a farm just outside
Stillwater. The farm’s toilet was in an outhouse all the while
Anita lived at home and they did not have electricity until
she was in high school. She studied by kerosene lamp
before electricity came and entertained herself by listening
to a battery-operated radio.
Anita went to a one-room rural primary school with
only 12-15 students; there were only two students in her
grade. Anita later attended Stillwater High School, where
her favorite subjects were English and mathematics, and
Anita Murphy
then she went to Winona Teacher’s College to prepare to
be a teacher. Her pioneering spirit was demonstrated by
her soccer playing at college. After graduating, she taught
school for two years before her visit to a girlfriend in San
Francisco, California, changed her life.
Pat’s father, Tom, came from an Irish and Italian family.
His mother, Ursula, helped her sisters run a hotel and
dining room and his dad, Tom Sr., worked in the coal
mines as a “rope rider,” electrician, and foreman in Red
Lodge, Montana. Tom was born on October 10, 1919, in
Red Lodge and weighed only 3 ½ pounds—they kept him
in a baby basket in back of the wood-burning kitchen stove
to keep him warm until he gained more weight. His mother
died of a chronic liver illness when he was 13 years old. As
a young boy, he loved reading and walking in the Cascades
forest. He went to high school at St. Martin’s boarding
school in Olympia, Washington. Tom attended the University
of Washington in Seattle and then the Boeing School of
Aeronautics in Oakland, California.
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12
Baby Pat and Anita

Pat celebrating her first birthday with her father Tom
13

18
Pat as a young girl

Looking for a change the next year, Tom and Anita
moved back to Stillwater, Minnesota. Tom continued to
work for Northwest Airlines in the Twin Cities, and Anita
was back in the familiar place where she grew up. They
moved into a comfortable little rental house on Mulberry
Street in Stillwater and began to settle in. Anita’s parents
lived on a farm nearby and her siblings were close at hand
to help out. The next two Murphy girls were born there:
Linda in January 1949 and Joanne in December 1950. Pat
was the only one old enough to go to school during the
three years they lived in Stillwater, and she went to kindergarten
and first grade there.
In 1951, Tom’s father and Pat’s grandfather, Thomas J.
Murphy, died and the family inherited enough money to
purchase their first home. The big farmhouse, now at 6450
Pleasant View Circle in Chanhassen, Minnesota, needed a
lot of work, but had a lot of character. Although fixing up
a house was a bit overwhelming for a young couple with a
bunch of small children, Tom and Anita would go on living
in that house for 30 years and raise all of their children
there. Claudia was born there just before Christmas 1953
and Tom, the youngest, was born in the summer of 1957.
Everyone joked about how long Tom and Anita had to wait
for a boy. By then father Tom thought the family was big
enough. He had grown up in a family with only three children,
but Anita was one of seven. Of course everyone was
happy when “Tommy” finally came along to carry on the
Thomas Murphy name.
Pat went to second grade at a public school before spending
third through eighth grade at St. John the Baptist School
in Excelsior. After a year at a public junior high, she attended
Minnetonka High School. Anita returned to teaching as
soon as Tommy entered first grade. She taught first grade at
St. John the Baptist School for 18 years, and it was said, “She
could teach a rock to read!” Anita reflected—“I didn’t want
to just be a housewife!” She enjoyed working with her students
and made lifelong friends with the other teachers.
“Pat had been through several cross-country
moves by 1950 when the family re-located from
Stillwater to the three acres in Chanhassen. By the
time I knew her, she already seemed like a little
lieutenant mom. I can picture her serious face; the
glasses perched up on her nose, helping to pull diapers
or snowsuits on people. People have always told
me that I have been good with kids, but I must have
been like her apprentice, as far as looking around
and seeing a model. She just assumed that role, and
took care of all of us.”
- Joanne Murphy
The Murphy home in Chanhassen, Minnesota
19

in her sorority—secretary/treasurer and also she held a
similar office at the Newman Club. Her leadership and
organizational skills were recognized and valued. Pat and I
used to compete for grades a lot when we were in the same
courses, and we always used to lord our successes over
each other in a fun-loving kind of way. She did better than
I did in biochemistry and never let me live that down. We
both were very good students and had among the top grade
point averages on campus.
During those three years of dating, I also got to know
Pat’s family. She was the first one of the Murphy girls to
bring a boyfriend home for an overnight stay, so all of her
younger siblings had a lot of fun teasing us. Pat and I were
in front of her house under the poplar tree and her siblings
were having a great time snooping on us. We did not
mind. I enjoyed getting a sense of how she had grown up
and liked talking with her sisters and brother and getting
to know her parents.
Pat also went home with me several times to Little Falls
to meet my parents and all five of my younger brothers. I
grew up on a farm, milking cows and raising hogs. It was
a new experience for everybody to have a girl around. My
mom really liked the help and companionship. Pat and I
used to go for long walks in the pastures, ride the minibikes,
and in the winter, the snowmobiles.
I was one year ahead of Pat so I graduated first and
began teaching vocational agriculture in the junior high
and high school at Alexandria, Minnesota, which is about
150 miles north of the Twin Cities. She had one more year,
including her student teaching experience. I made a lot
of trips back to the Twin Cities that first year of teaching.
In the spring, she decided to do her student teaching in a
small town called Sebeka, which was only 30 miles from
Alexandria. I was glad that she was closer and I could go
see her much more often.
“Being the youngest, I remember what a big
deal it was when Pat brought George home for the
first time, introducing him as her boyfriend. It was
very exciting to me. I was awful and merciless as
a younger brother; I sat around saying, ‘Georgie
Porgie, pudding and pie, kissed the girls (and made
them cry).’ Looking
back I realize
what a huge sign of
affection that actually
was. I really
wanted attention
from George, being
the only boy out of
five sisters, and I
was pouring myself
into it. Pat was very
patient and goodnatured
with me,
George and Pat out on a date
nobody sent me off to the lower quarters of the house
for my obnoxious behavior. It was like a miracle,
one of my first memories of my sister with a guy and
it turned out to be her mate for life. Pat would come
in just dressed to the hilt, I mean just gorgeous, and
I would be sitting there saying, ‘This is my sister!’
I was just in awe at that point. It was good for me
because it gave me a glimpse into the world outside
of the west suburbs of Excelsior, which was a lot
more isolated then than it is now. Pat would come in
and it would be like a princess coming to visit. For a
kid this was amazing.”
- Tom Murphy
32

Pat and George dressed up for a dance
33

70

Pat consistently translated her values into action.
Rather than spread herself over hundreds of causes,
she poured herself into ones that ignited her passions
and interests at different points in her life. There were
consistent themes that connected these causes. When Pat
believed in a cause, she gave her unwavering determination
and loyalty to it.
Caring for Causes
Passion and Purpose,
Pat's Causes
Throughout her personal life and career, two of Pat’s
most important causes were helping children and families
in need and empowering groups and individuals who were
outside the predominant power structure. She focused her
efforts especially on women, people from minority ethnic
groups and those who were poor. For Pat, working towards
gender equality was a central cause that she dedicated
herself to throughout her life. She felt that she certainly
had more opportunities than her mother did, but fewer
than I did. She always sought ways to encourage women to
empower themselves and realize their full potential.
One of the first times I saw Pat delving into a cause for
children and families was through the Latch Key Program
in St. Paul. Pat initiated and co-planned the first schoolbased
Latch Key program in the city. Latch Key serves
children and families by providing after-school, schoolbased
childcare through Community Education to fill the
gap between when kids get out of school and when parents
come home from work. The program is now widespread
in St. Paul. Pat would have been surprised and pleased to
learn that her nephew Tommy and niece Nora took part
in the program some 30 years after she helped initiate it.
Pat staffing the Community Education booth
at the 4th of July celebration in St. Anthony Park
Pat’s brother, Tom, mentioned that he only learned of Pat’s
involvement in founding the program when he attended
a retirement event for the co-founder of the program
after Pat had passed away. He was pleasantly surprised
to learn that his sister had been instrumental in creating
this innovative program that had benefited his family. The
co-founder, Beth Cutting, used this quote from Pericles to
describe Pat’s work, “What you leave behind is not what is
engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the
lives of others.” Pat did a lot of this kind of weaving in her
life through her work with the causes she cared about.
While our children were growing up, Pat was also
very supportive of the Newman Center and Chapel at the
University of Minnesota, an organization for Catholic
students with a liberal approach to community support.
We attended the Center as our place of worship, and it is
where Kristin and Vince got their early religious education.
71

84
Caring for Causes, Mixed Media Art by Owen Cooper

Caring for Causes
The Importance of Having Determination
By Owen Cooper, Age 10
My grandma taught me to keep working hard and do your best,
stay positive and never give up. My grandma worked with goats and
she was very determined to make the goats ribbon winners and make
them the best they can be.
I want to do good in school and to follow grandma’s example
and try hard at everything. Determination is important because you
always do good if you try your best, if you don’t have determination
you won’t do good at anything.
Owen building bird houses for Christmas gifts
“I see these qualities of loyalty and determination
coming out very strongly in Owen. He gets really
firmly behind something and is unwavering in his
loyalty. It sometimes makes things hard on him.
He is very committed to the sports teams that he is
backing and we support him in that. We were watching
the World Cup and following England to see how
far they would go. We knew that at a certain point
that they probably weren’t going to win, but he was
so loyal that he took it really hard when they lost.
Owen gets really indignant at baseball games if there
is a call that he doesn’t agree with. He can get really
upset about it because he has a sense of how things
should go and that it should be fair.
He applies this same passion to politics.
Through his friends at school he got very interested
in the 2008 presidential election. He was completely
behind Obama. I was on the fence with it
for a while, and he was okay with that. I think he
recognized that I had the right to my own opinion,
but he didn’t make any secret about what his feelings
were in trying to convince me.
He is really loyal to people in his family and
friends that he cares about. I remember once I knitted
a sweater for my husband, and it took a really
long time. I mentioned to Owen how long it was taking.
When my husband opened the present, he said,
‘Oh look, a sweater.’ Owen said, ‘Mama made that
by herself and it took her a really, really long time.’
That’s the sort of thing that my mom would do. I
always made my mom things as a child, and as I got
older I would take classes and continue to make her
gifts. She would wear them and be happy to receive
them. She was appreciative, which could be seen as
loyalty because they are not always the most obviously
precious items.”
- Kristin Cooper
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Pat was always quiet about her decisions to care for
other people—she just did it without fanfare or
even letting others know. Her care began with her
family as she grew up the oldest of six—Joanne christened
her “Lieutenant Mom.” When I got to know her, she was
quietly caring for her dormitory roommates and sorority
sisters. When Pat left college, she focused on caring for her
expanding family—me, my parents and siblings and our
family together with Kristin and Vince. After that her care
expanded to the children, adolescents and parents in the
programs where she was a teacher in a wide variety of organizations.
Next came her sweetest and indulgent care with
her most prized family—her four grandchildren Owen,
Emma, Grace, and Nathan—each the apple of her eye.
Along the way Pat extended herself to many individuals in
Caring for People
Vince and Pat
hard situations who were in need of help: a niece interested
in the performing arts, a troubled teenager with little family
support, a woman recovering from debilitating surgery,
a woman in the final stages of ALS, another woman with
multiple sclerosis, and eventually her own mother, to name
a few. Anyone who knew Pat was aware that she was a very
busy person—always working on one thing or another
while balancing family and work responsibilities. I was
there for much of this caringtaking, particularly for our
families. Yet, much of this caring she did on her own, and
I took on a supporting role. I was there when she asked for
advice or needed help covering other things so she could
be gone. She simply took time out to care for people—it
was an essential part of who she was at heart.
This quality of caring for people was expressed in a
wide variety of ways. The most obvious
ways in which Pat cared for others
were by giving them food, helping
with their bathing needs, making
sure they had clean clothes, sewing
new clothes, helping with school
work, listening and giving advice.
After people’s basic needs were met,
Pat continued to care for others by
making places for them to feel comfortable
and loved, building their
self-confidence and their trust in her,
and bringing beauty to their lives. She
made each of our houses into a warm,
inviting, attractive, and unique home
through carefully selected decorations,
furnishings, reconfigurations,
remodeling and new additions. She
was also a master at making, selecting
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The Strength of Her
Personal Relationships
Pat embodied the role of caretaker
in our family when we were raising
our children and in the other personal
relationships that were important to her
throughout her life. For our family, she
was always the go-to person when Kristin
and Vince were babies, children, and
early adolescents. This was the case for
the thousands and thousands of small
and large, routine and unique needs that
arose. While Kristin and Vince were
very young, Pat continued to work and
pursue advanced professional study, but
the children always came first. If there
was a conflict with our schedules, she
was usually the one to adapt. She would
make arrangements with neighbors and
friends to exchange child care so she
had time for her work and study. This
continued all the way through Kristin’s
and Vince’s elementary and middle
school years. Then she started more
intense work and concentrated study,
moving from her master’s degree to her
doctorate. Even during this period, she
engaged our children by involving them
in a slide presentation to use in her master’s
study. Throughout the process of
collecting data for her thesis, she would
bring Vince and Kristin with her to
observe parenting practices at the local
McDonald’s restaurant.
Pat with Kristin and Vince
92

“I think Pat’s ability to care for others is one of
the most important things about who she was. That
is what she did with us as her younger siblings; it
was always family first. It was the same with George
and their children; she was always so proud of them.
It couldn’t have been more perfect than for her to
have been gifted the four grandchildren. Her theory
was that she could never do too much for her kids,
and for the most part that worked out pretty well.
They are well-loved kids, and it shows, and the same
goes for the grandkids. Pat and George both modeled
being there and being very present parents, and
I think those four grandkids are lucky with that. It’s
cut short, but it’s going to be present for them. That
love doesn’t go away.
I felt very fortunate to have been a recipient of
that kind of love when Pat and George offered me a
place to stay so that I could go to the University of
Minnesota after my high school graduation. I had
dreams of going to Berkeley, but I had no money. I
was able to work parttime
during the school
year and throughout
the summers to put
myself through college,
but it was contingent
upon me feeling brave
enough to do that.
Having a supportive
place to be during my
first semester made
all of the difference.
They built me a room
Pat with Vince
Pat, bringing out cupcakes at Vince's birthday party
in their basement; it was a jumping off place to start
my life. I really enjoyed spending quite a bit of time
with Kris when she was still tiny, and I felt totally
comfortable around Pat and George’s house during
those five years until I left the Twin Cities area. Pat
always made me feel very welcome.
During that time when Pat was working on her
graduate program, her approach was a real model
for me, how she stuck to it. With two little kids, it
was not so easy. There were flurries of index cards
all over the floor. Watching her really solidified in
my mind the importance of setting goals and sticking
to them. It wasn’t so clear to me what she was
after, but it was clear that she wanted it badly. She
maintained absolute focus on Vince and Kris, from
their daily care to creating special parties for their
birthdays, while simultaneously pursuing her academic
goals. It was really something to see.”
- Joanne Murphy
93

Pat with Emma and Owen
Pat feeding Owen his first baby food
Pat tickling Owen
114

Pat and George enjoying Emma's first steps
115

“Before Vince and I got married and bought a
house, we decided it’s time to get a dog. I got a pug
dog from a breeder that turned out to be a “puppy
mill,” and the puppy died four days after we got her.
It was just horrible. She was only the size of the palm
of my hand. I held her while she had her last seizures
and drew her last breath. It was devastating to me.
I stayed in the room when she was put to sleep. Pat
knew how awful that was. I was an emotional wreck.
We talked about the possibility of getting
another dog, and I said, ‘We can’t because it is a
very contagious disease, and you can’t bring any
other animal into the environment for18 months
until they are fully vaccinated.’ Pat went out and
found a dog in Oregon. She raised her until she was
three months old, took her to the vet for her vaccinations,
then had her blood tested to make sure
that she had enough antibodies so she wouldn’t get
the disease. Vince went to their home for Thanksgiving
and brought back this perfect puppy that Pat
had given to us. Strangely enough the puppy, who
we named Addie, has the same birthday as Vince.
She did that for us, and it is not easy to bring a
puppy into your house. They’re not potty trained or
anything, and she never complained. She was very
proud of how she had made us so happy by giving
us this dog. Addie is now going to be ten, and every
time Grandma Pat would come, she would be just
beside herself.
As our relationship progressed and we started
our family, Pat was always there anytime you needed
her. Even if she was halfway across the country, or
if she was busy at a conference, if you needed her,
she would drop things and come. She came for the
birth of each of our kids. She arrived about a week
after Grace was born when we returned home from
the hospital. It was really helpful to have her there
because Grace had her days and nights mixed up. Pat
would take her at night so we could get a little bit of
sleep, and then Pat would sleep during the day.
Then when I was pregnant with Nathan, I got
sick and I was in the hospital for I don’t know how
many days, and Vince needed somebody to watch
Grace. He called up one night and said, ‘Mom, I
need you,’ and she was there the next morning.
Anything you needed she was there. With Nathan,
we knew that I was going to have a C-section so we
scheduled it six weeks out so that I had coverage,
somebody to take care of Grace the whole time after
Nathan was born. Yet Nathan decided to come a
month early and so we called Pat and said, 'Nathan
is here.' She flew out the next morning and was there
to take care of Grace so that Vince could be with me
during the days. Pat actually introduced Grace to
Nathan. She brought Grace up to the hospital, and
sat down in the chair with Grace on one knee and
Nathan on the other and said, ‘This is your baby
brother.’ She was smiling and laughing, and Grace
was holding Nathan’s face in her hands.
When Pat and George were delivering goats
about three years ago, they were coming through
Minnesota and planning to stay a few days and
then head on. My grandmother called to say that
my grandfather was in the hospital and needed a
triple bypass. They’re in Arizona, so I asked Pat and
George, 'Do you mind staying?' Vince was flying
116

Pat introducing Grace to her new baby brother, Nathan
out of the country for work and there was no one to
watch the kids. No problem. They just rearranged
everything and stayed so that I could go.
When Vince’s grandfather Tom was in the nursing
home, his grandma had to sell her cabin in Wisconsin
in order to pay for his medical needs. Vince and
I couldn’t afford it at the time, although we wanted
to keep it in the family. Pat and George bought the
cabin and made the mortgage payments for a year
until we were financially
ready, and then they
sold it to us. She took
care of things like that.
If she could work something,
or if she could
contribute to something
that someone wanted or
needed, she did it.
She had a friend that
had ALS, Lou Gehrig’s
disease. Every Tuesday,
she would go over
to Laurie’s house and
wash and style her hair,
and do her nails. She
would spend time with
her especially when she
was doing really poorly
and couldn’t do any of
those things. She did
this to give her husband
a break, and also
just because those are
the kinds of things that you would do for a friend
that couldn’t do it for themselves. I thought that was
really noble of her because it is really hard to watch a
friend die, especially from something so horrible like
that. She did it with grace and love; she wasn’t afraid
of her friend’s disease. Some people would back away
from others when they are sick, but she never did.”
- Alicia Copa
117

Vince also exemplifies that quality of caring through
his relationships with his children. He is tuned into them
at a high level all the time. He understands each one's
needs, interests, and personality—how they are similar
and different and responds accordingly with great success
and resulting mutual fondness. Grace and Nathan love
him dearly (as they do Alicia); he is a very important part
of their lives. He does what I did not do very much. When
he gets home from work, the children have his primary
attention until they go to bed. Then on Saturdays and
Sundays he is there for them fulltime with activities, new
experiences, and learning. He is focused on who they are
and how they are developing—they are very central and
precious to his life. For Grace, it could be encouraging her
to try something new or developing the patience to talk
something through. For Nathan it, might be practicing
a new sports skill or forming a collaboration so they can
work on mowing their lawn together.
“I think that it is wonderful how Vince and Kristin
have cultivated some of the best qualities of both
of their parents. I can see it in their intellect, generosity,
and ability to be good parents. I can see how
Pat and George influenced them in a positive way.”
- Tom Murphy
•
“When Pat gave our family gifts, they were not
something that she would just go and pick up off of
the shelf. She thought about it, and they were meaningful,
wonderful things. The last trip out before
she died, she and George had been in New Mexico,
and she gave Grace these beautiful Native American
placemats for the table. Cloth placemats with all of
the beautiful colors, and they had horses running on
them. She also brought her a book called, The Girl
Who Loved Wild Horses. It is a story about a Native
American girl who has wild horses. At kindergarten,
instead of bringing treats for Grace’s birthday, the
teacher invited the parents to come in and read the
child’s favorite book, and that was the book Grace
chose. She got Nathan a Native American story
about why the wolf is grey with a black tail. The wolf
started out blue, but he was mischievous, and he got
in trouble so his tail changed colors. Nathan loves
that book, too. She must have spent hours thinking
about the perfect gift. That was always wonderfully
endearing to us, and much appreciated.”
- Alicia Copa
Vince, Anita, Alicia and Pat
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Pat teaching Grace how to fish at the family cabin in Wisconsin
119

128

Pat enjoyed a special relationship with animals, and
they played a significant role in our life together.
She loved animals and they loved her. At the core
of this connection was a deep gentle caring, bewildering
joy, boundless exchange, fulfillment of dreams, unwavering
loyalty, unexpected miracles and soothing internal peace.
Pat’s love of animals found its beginning and nurturing in
the Murphy family and was strengthened throughout her
life. Pat took pride in passing this love on to her children
and grandchildren.
Caring for Animals
Beginning of a Love Affair
with Animals
Pat’s caring for and
love of animals began
long before I knew her,
when she was growing
up in the Murphy
family. During her
childhood, the Murphy
family lived on the edge
of the Twin Cities with
several acres for pasture
and garden—it was a
neat place for animals.
In Pat’s family, not
only did everyone enjoy
Pat as a young girl
the animals, each took
a role in caring for them. Pat and her siblings embraced this
responsibility. She enjoyed having animals around and was
eager to attend to their needs—feeding, watering, cleaning
up after them, tending them when they were sick and
Thomas Murphy and the Murphy familly pugs
“We always had animals around the Murphy
household when the children were growing
up—most of the time we had a dog. First we had
Patches, the cocker spaniel, then Prince, the German
shepard, and later we had Pappy and Cookie, the
pugs. The animals were part of the family. It means
a lot to me that my children, grandchildren, and
great-grandchildren are good with animals. For us
they are not just animals; they are very special.”
- Anita Murphy
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and worked evenings and weekends building
her goat enterprise. She then moved
to a faculty position at Western Oregon
University, only about three miles from our
farm, so she could return home during the
day and tend the growing herd of goats.
After two years, Pat decided to leave
professional education work to raise goats
full time. The goat enterprise tapped Pat’s
considerable energy, determination and
organizational skills. It modeled for me
how to make a smooth transition from the
field of professional education, where we
were both working, to a distinctly different
area of focus. I think this was one
of the best decisions of Pat’s life (besides
saying yes to me). She fell in love with this
endeavor and gave it her all. In return, it
gave her more than she could have imagined. It ushered
in a new level of love and commitment, deep caring, joy,
dreams, loyalty, miracles, peace, respect, self-confidence
and a new opportunity to teach.
By the time Pat died, she was known across the United
Owen and Pat with one of the young goats at Verdant Vistas
A baby goat nursing from its mother
“My mom’s work with goats almost seemed like
she was returning to where she came from. It was a
way to combine her affinity with animals with making
a contribution and being respected. That was
important to her.”
- Kristin Cooper
136

States for the physical quality of her goats, their friendly
personalities and the fiber they produced. Pat’s new goat
kids were sought even before they were born (she kept a
waiting list). In the Pygora Breeders Directory, you can
now find Verdant Vistas goats throughout the country, and
she received requests daily for her advice and support on
caring for Pygora goats.
A collection of the signs that Pat
had out in front of Verdant Vista,
updating the community on news
from the goat farm
Verdant Vista goats
137

Pat playing with the goats
Fiber from the goats
Pat with her goat Maggie at a dress-up event
Pat sharing her goats with children in the community
Pat with award-winning Killian at the Fiber Frenzy
140

Remembering Pat
Celebrating Pat’s Friendships in the Pygora Goat Community
When news of Pat’s death spread through the Pygora
goat community, we saw an outpouring of sympathy.
Everyone wanted to tell me how much Pat meant to
them and what a strong role she played in their lives
with their animals. One way Pat communicated with
the people in the community was through an online
discussion group where members usually talk about
their “goaties” as if they are referring to family members.
When Pat died, it was clear that, in addition to us
losing an important member of our family, the Pygora
goat community had lost an important member of its
family. Their thoughts and reflections on their relationships
with Pat have been a real gift to us.
“She was one of the dearest, most sincere,
giving people I have ever known. I would like to carry
on her effort to get Pygora fiber out to the world, not
just for the spinners, but also in yarn form for the knitters
out there. Pat truly was an inspiration to me.”
A Special, Inspiring Woman
“It was an honor and a privilege to have crossed
paths with a woman such as Pat. In this shallow
world that seems to be going crazy, it is a rarity to meet
such a hardworking woman who walked with elegance,
kindness, intelligence and class.”
“What a beautiful and inspiring woman. Her
spirit will soar as she watches all of us she has touched.”
“Pat was such an inspiration to all of us with her vast
knowledge, her cheerfulness and her zest
for life.”
“Pat was one in a million. The Pygora chat line has had
many who all have said the same—Pat was always there
to offer help, encouragement, to teach and teach again
for those of us slow learners and then when we finally
got it you could feel her smile.”
A collection of cards from Pat's friends in the Pygora Goat Community
141

152
Caring for Animals, Mixed Media Art by Grace Copa

Caring for Animals
As told by Grace Copa, Age 6
Grace taking Gretel for a walk
I have a lot of favorite memories of my grandma and I caring for
her animals. Gretel is a very nice donkey because she walks nice. I am
a very good animal trainer, I feed her apples. Briana is a very nice goat.
She is my friend, but she went to another farm. I pet her a lot and take
her out of the fence. Gretel would come out, too. Ben, the cat, was my
favorite and Jerry was a scared cat. Grandma gave me a rock horse on
the train. I have eyes like a hawk and ears like a mouse. I have a lot of
animals like my grandma, five duck eggs, a lot of fish, one hamster and
two dogs. I loved spending time with my grandma and her animals. I
always wanted to go down there everyday.
“When I think about Pat’s special connection
with animals, I see some of the same characteristics
in Grace. Grace has a special way with animals.
They are as drawn to her as she is to them. They
settle down and feel comfortable with her. It is
almost a spiritual kind of thing. When Grace comes
to Verdant Vistas, as soon as she gets out of the car,
she always wants to see the goats and lead around
the donkey, Gretel. She says, ‘Grandpa, come tack
up Gretel.’”
- George Copa
Grace and a young goat
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154

Caring for Adventure
Pat’s passion for adventure and her multitude of
diverse experiences helped her feel comfortable
with change, build her self-confidence and increase
her competence in dealing with a variety of circumstances.
Her dynamic energy and creativity brought new
adventures and opportunities to her family and friends.
Our shared adventures helped to create some of our fondest
memories, allowing us to get to know each other in
deeper ways through sharing “quality time” and engaging
in conversation over challenges and joys in new contexts.
These experiences helped to build confidence and strength
in us as individuals and in our partnership. We learned
how to handle unpredictability, risk and change as it arose.
Throughout our travels, as one form of adventure, we
continued to discover more about the broader world physically,
geographically, socially and spiritually.
Pat’s sister, Joanne, got it right when she was reflecting
about Pat. She said, “Not many made better use of the time
they had.” Pat was a very spirited person, and, as Kristin
says, “Not easily settled.” I would add “if ever” because
it was rare to find her sitting still unless she was really
exhausted. But, often in her experiences of adventure by
herself and with others, Pat seemed more settled—at peace
with herself and very pleased with the impact she was having,
the difference she was making in the world.
“One of the main things I miss about Pat is just
her joy of life. I miss how totally involved she was in
everything that she did. Whether she was cleaning
the barn or doing other chores, it didn’t matter, she
was totally into it. She never passively observed life,
she was just in it.”
- Linda Barnes
“I will never stop being sad that we didn’t have
more time with Pat, but there are not many people
that have made better use of the time that they did
have in their lives.”
- Joanne Murphy
Pat and Erin enjoying Silver Falls in Oregon
155

Pat and Kristin playing in the backyard at the Copa house in St. Paul, Minnesota
and Mount Rushmore.
We also visited the
home of Pat’s ancestors
in Ireland—Pat and I
relished in the challenges
of driving on the left side
of road throughout the
country and picking up
peat samples to bring
home for our fireplace.
Pat even ventured to
Pat and Vince in Minnesota
Poland, the home of my
ancestors, and brought my Dad with her from Minnesota.
He had traveled very little by air and never internationally.
They met me in Germany for a train trip to Warsaw and
visited a small village where his parents grew up.
Together we introduced Kristin and Vince to the joys
of living in another country when Pat and our children
joined me for a summer in Portugal—I had gone a week
earlier to find a place to live during my Fulbright experience
there. Kristin started young with a trip when she was
“I remember the summer you guys went to Portugal
with two kids when they were still pretty young.
I just kind of stood back with my mouth wide open.
I mean, I couldn’t even keep the bird alive. It was
sort of awe-inspiring. Traveling was in our blood,
watching the airplanes go over, and Dad working for
Northwest. We all pretty much without exception got
that love of traveling. Pat was making that happen
with the kids still being little. I have a stack of postcards
from all of the times that she wrote when she
was off on her adventures.”
- Joanne Murphy
Pat and Vince playing in the snow in Minnesota
162

Vince, Kristin and Pat preparing to board a plane to Portugal
163

178

A Year of Serendipity
Pat’s final year with us was a very special year—
perhaps one she and we would have planned if we
knew what was ahead. It left her family with the
comfort of the experiences we shared and the memories we
made. This time was also an important reminder of all of
the gifts she gave us to carry forward.
Happy to Be on Her Feet Again
The summer of 2007 started with Pat’s amazing recovery
from a car accident two years before. In many ways the
first accident was very similar to the one that took her life,
just less serious. She had been up late the night before preparing
goat fiber and knitting products for display and sale
in a shop in downtown Portland. She drove up to Portland
that morning, spent the day at the shop in discussions with
the owner and then drove back to our farm in Salem.
It was a rainy day, she was tired and she was planning
to meet me about 20 miles south of Salem in Albany for a
retirement party for one of my university faculty colleagues
whom she knew and enjoyed. I talked with her when
she got home and suggested she not come because she
was tired and it was a dark, dreary night for driving. She
decided she wanted to come anyway and got on the road.
About 45 minutes later, I got a call from her that she
had fallen asleep driving, went off the road and drove into
an orchard and hit a couple of trees. She had managed to
get to her cell phone to call me and said she had a broken
ankle and could not move. She asked me to come quickly—
I was only about 15 minutes away. Before I got there,
someone had stopped and called 911. The police came and
an ambulance took her to the hospital in Corvallis.
It turns out Pat’s ankle was severely broken, and her
car was completely destroyed. The ankle was mended with
several metal
braces and a screw.
Her leg was in cast
for two months
and then she wore
a large black boot
with all kinds of
support for 2-3
months more. During
this time she
was not able to put
any weight on the
ankle and she was
supposed to take it
easy. Taking it easy
was not Pat’s way.
She still wanted to
Pat and Anita
be as independent
as possible and active with goat care, so I rented a couple of
motorized carts for her—a smaller 3-wheel one for in the
house and a larger 4-wheel one for outside. We installed a
ramp to go from inside to outside the house so she could
get between the carts.
Pat did amazingly well in bringing her life back to some
kind of normal routine and never once complained of the
pain and discomfort during this time. We even made long
goat delivery trips with one of her carts on board, and she
made the best of it in the pickup cab.
After awhile, Pat was on her feet again but could not
wear a regular shoe because the braces and screws were
irritated by any kind of tight covering. She also could not
walk more than a block without a lot of pain—she was
beginning to think that this was going to be the situation
for the rest of her life and that our plans would need to
179

She was almost home.
Summer evening: sunny, warm.
A long drive back from a wonderful
day at the coast with friends.
Looking forward to HOME—a place
of verdant vistas, deep satisfaction,
and people who loved and needed her.
Too hard to believe
that the car could find its way
through such a narrow path.
The road, while winding and turbulent
in many spots,
is flat and open here.
Blueberries at the height of perfection,
and peach trees with dangling globes
lay in the distance.
But here, there’s nothing but sun and the
heat and the quiet satisfaction from a
day well spent.
The droning of the car and sound of irrigation
in the field...the smell of new mown
hay and precious release of all
cares...and then...sleep.
Momma, grandma, goat lady.
Patty...Irish girl of wit and sparkle.
Teacher and caretaker for
the world around her and lover of life.
She was gone too soon for those that loved her.
A butterfly set free.
- Poem by Suzanne Brazier, friend, July 24, 2008
On the morning of July 18th, when Anita got up, she
asked about Pat right away and I told her of the accident
and Pat’s death. Later that day Vince arrived with Joanne.
Now I had the support of both of our children and Joanne
was there to help us and with Anita. We needed to do
some planning for a memorial service for Pat. We scheduled
a meeting with the funeral director at the mortuary
in Independence, a small town close by, where Pat’s body
was taken after the accident. Before we went, the three of
us sat down to talk about the memorial celebration that we
thought Pat would appreciate—no casket (she wanted to be
cremated), no formal church service, not too long, attended
by family and friends, held outside, some Irish music, at a
meaningful place, mainly women doing the talking. When
we got to the mortuary we picked out an urn for the ashes;
the mortuary director advised us not to view her body
because of its condition. In hindsight, that was a mistake.
We would not have had to see her whole body, but it would
have been nice to at least touch her hand for a last time and
confirm it was definitely her to make it seem real.
Creating a Memorial
We settled on holding the service at Mission Mill
Museum where Pat had exhibited her goats for the past
several years at their annual Sheep to Shawl event. It was
her favorite event to present her goats and introduce them
to mostly city families, especially children not familiar
with farm animals. There was no competition among the
goats and exhibitors; the focus was education and enjoyment.
When I told the Mission Mill administration of our
wishes and of Pat’s involvement there, they were quick to
give us full support. We selected the very same spot for
the ceremony where she had exhibited her goats and fiber
products. We placed the table holding the urn with her
ashes where her goat pens had been earlier in the spring.
I asked a friend, Jennifer Webster, whom I knew well
216

Another speaker at the service was Phyllis Quanbeck.
She had known Pat throughout her time in Oregon as a
colleague in the Oregon Department of Education and as a
close friend. Phyllis was very helpful to us in finding local
Irish singers and musicians, and we worked with them to
select the music and songs that would be performed.
Kristin typed the program for the memorial and took it
for copying. She looked at several quotations that could be
used on the program and that meaningfully fit the context
of Pat’s death.
Pat's urn surrounded by her yarn and favorite flowers
from my work at the university to be the facilitator for the
memorial event. She had brought her children to see Pat’s
goats at the Sheep to Shawl event the year before and she
was very thoughtful and skilled at presentations. We put
together a memorial service of about 30 minutes with two
major speakers representing different parts of Pat’s life. We
also wanted some words shared by her family—me, the
children, grandchildren and the Murphy family.
With the help of close friends and family, the plans
for the memorial came together. We asked a professional
photographer, Stan Harryman, who was a partner to one
of my professional friends, Susan Wolff, to videotape the
ceremony. Invitations were sent out through lists we had
of family and friends and through public announcements.
Pat’s friends in the goat community organized and served
a light lunch and beverages. Kristi Gustafson, a speaker at
the memorial service and a close friend who knew of Pat’s
work with Pygora goats and the goat community, organized
the refreshments.
“Tell all my mourners
To mourn in red—
Cause there ain’t no sense
In my bein’ dead."
- Langston Hughes
Memorial display for Pat
217

me messages at one or two in the morning? She always
said she got her “second wind” at that time of the night
and could get all kinds of things done. I will never
forget how she took the time to show me how to take
the photo of the goat, do the quick edit, print it on the
registration form and “voila,” I would have a registration
form ready for sending to the association! In all
honesty, I never quite got it the way she showed me, but
I learned enough to be MUCH better at it than I was.
Pat ALWAYS came around at buck show time to
offer her and George’s help in getting ready and setting
up. She always donated items for the door prizes
and, then later, for the silent auction table. Pat helped
with the registration table, the fleece judging tables or
wherever we needed help. We both knew how to get
our husbands to show those bucks while we were busy
with the show’s organization and paperwork! My only
regret in canceling this year’s buck show was not being
able to spend the time with Pat. We plan to resume the
show next June, so we will definitely present a memorial
to her. I remember Pat driving in with
marionberries, “just because” there
were lots at her house and she wanted
to share. I remember showing up at her
house to make skeins of yarn, wearing
a sweatshirt (no menopausal woman
should wear a sweatshirt!) and she
went to find me a t-shirt to wear while
I was there! I remember many talks
about PBA—Pat filled the Board position
which I had, and how optimistic
she was that “things” could improve. I
remember sharing her disappointment
that “things” did not change as much as
she would have liked. She was always
willing to stand up for what she believed, and I respect
her greatly for that. I am thankful that she was able to
see some positive changes within this last year in particular.
I will make it my personal goal to continue to keep
those changes being made, in Pat’s honor.
It was a true honor to have known Pat. Of course, I
regret not having spent more time with her. Life always
seems to get in the way of time spent with friends. I
am still struggling with the thought of her being gone,
but I am trying to learn from Pat and her life and death
what I can apply
to my own life. I
guess that is the
best we can all
do. We must go
on, as it is the
only proper thing
to do. It is what
Pat would be telling
us all to do! George speaking at Wilma's dedication
George sharing the story of Wilma's creation at the Sheep and Shawl event
236

Wilma the Goat
Message from the sculptor, Georgia Gerber
Presented by Darlene Chambers
Art is created for many reasons: for aesthetics, for
expression, for symbolism, for whimsy and often for
the honoring of an event or an individual. While creating
this sculpture of Wilma, the Pygora Goat, I felt all
of these motivations influencing and guiding me.
For a public artist it is both a challenge and a
pleasure to create a work that is meant to bring joy and
meaning to many people on many levels. I hope that
this sculpture, placed here
in this beautiful setting, will
bring joy to those who knew
and loved Pat Copa. I also
hope it is a delight to those
who may not have known
her but have come across
this small treasure because
they are here sharing in her
passion for the woolen arts
and the wonderful animals
that are at the heart of it.
Working with George
Copa on this project has
been an honor. From the
start it was clear he is a gracious
and loving man and it
has been a privilege to help
him achieve this vision. I
can’t help but marvel at the
serendipity of George and
his young grandson Owen
conceiving of this memorial
tribute, the family learning of my work not long after
and then Wilma ending up on a farm only a few miles
from my home.
When I visited Mary Donaty’s farm and saw
Wilma, I knew immediately she was the perfect model,
and that the sculpture could not help but turn out both
beautiful and endearing—with a touch of silliness that
would make it irresistibly loveable.
I sincerely hope, and expect, that the back of this
sculpture will be brightly polished by generations of
children who cannot resist becoming a part of this
tribute to a woman who so loved the young.
Wilma
237

238
Owen, Emma, Nathan and Grace unveiling the Wilma sculpture

Following the artist’s statement, Peter Booth made a
few remarks regarding how pleased the Museum was with
having the opportunity to be a site for the goat sculpture
and how appropriate it was to honor Pat and recognize the
heritage of the museum. He paid special tribute to Owen
for conceiving the idea for honoring Pat in this way.
Owen then joined Emma, Grace and Nathan for unveiling
the sculpture for its very first public viewing. There was
loud applause and cheering and many bright smiles.
Owen was asked to step forward to read the text on the
dedication plaque for the sculpture. Following Owen, two
of Pat’s close goat keeper friends then offered their tributes.
Wilma
Pygora Goat
In memory of Patricia M. Copa -
An exemplary goat keeper and beloved wife,
mother, grandmother and friend.
The Pygora goat was first bred in Oregon,
combining many of the best qualities of the
Pygmy and Angora breeds. Wilma, at six months
of age, was one of Pat’s award-winning fiber
goats, which she shared with children and
families at Mission Mill Museum on
numerous occasions.
Dedicated by family and friends
May 16, 2009
Sculpture by
Georgia Gerber
Owen giving his presentation
239