Feburary 3, 2016 This week in Gay Palm Springs

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THAT IS FUNNY A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.” A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURG- ER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive twinks serving drinks. “Can I help you?” the twink asks. “I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” the twink purrs. “I am.” The man replies, “Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.” If Donald Trump gets elected there’ll be hell toupee. WEEKLY GUIDE TO THE STARS ARIES: March 21-April 20: Two wrongs don’t make a right. Three wrongs and you’re testing it. Four wrongs and it’s five to ten in Chino. TAURUS: April 21-May 19: If you see a burning building and hear odd screams, don’t go inside. It might be the Green Goblin! Am I the only one that remembers the first Spider-Man? GEMINI: May 20-June 21: You’re a big mess. Fix it. CANCER: June 22-July 22: I’m not sure if you’ve heard of this new invention. It’s called underwear. Put it on! good Tom Petty song. Running down a storm drain is just crazy, guy. VIRGO: Aug. 23-Sept. 22: It’s recommended that you sleep for eight hours a night. So do that. You’re seriously cranky too much. LIBRA: Sept. 23 - Oct. 22: If time was meant to stop, we’d all have time-stopping stopwatches! SCORPIO: Oct. 23 - Nov. 21: The cowboy is a noble profession. Wearing the hat and chaps, wrangling horses. But you’re a million years old. Not gonna happen, bub. because you own a samurai sword does not make you a samurai! CAPRICORN: Dec.21-Jan. 19: I bet you think you’re so smart. What with your education and your books. I can read too, you know! AQUARIUS: Jan 20-Feb. 18: “Break a leg” is used instead of “good luck” for plays for reasons I’ll never understand. PISCES: Feb. 19 - March 20: If you think today is tough, wait until you go through the next thirty years of life. Oooh boy, you’re in for it now. LEO: July 23-August 22: SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 - Dec. Running down a dream is a 20: For the last time: just 46 Your weekly LGBT Gay Desert Guide. View our Free Digital Version on-line.
JERSEY’S JOURNAL by Jersey Shore Other people aren’t happy unless everyone around them is miserable. What is up with that? Knocking down others to feel superior is sad. I feel sad for YOU. You are pathetic and I guess that’s why you need to knock people down. Some people are scratching their heads wondering what I am talking about, so I guess that makes you one of those people. Why do you care what I am doing? Concentrate on yourself and you won’t need to be a destructive, disgusting, piece of sheet rock. Life is short and your energy should be focused on yourself and ways to improve yourself and your life. A simple life can be so fulfilling if you concentrate on you, just you, and only you and the rest will flow! I don’t have enough time in the day to be bothered or any kind of interested in someone else’s sad life. If you are my friend, I’ll have your back. It’s too bad there are a few people I know that I could say the same about themselves. I call them pussies. Flip flopping until the correct side presents itself. Well with that attitude it never will. deranged head aren’t good enough, then enjoy your sad life. Happiness is simple to achieve and a wonder to have. Peace, love and Happiness, Jersey Jersey can be seen performing: Every SUNDAY for Disco Drag Brunch starting Noon & Every TUESDAY For the Cabaret Variety Review @ 7:30 pm at Georgie’s Alibi Azul Throwback Thursdays with Jersey Shore on Thursday’s at Ultra star Cinema @ 7pm. 6pm Cocktail hour at Bonta thanks!!!!! Eventually, or today in my case, I see what you are doing and I am not having it. This homo doesn’t play that. I have made so many people dead to me. Once you think you’ve screwed me, I’ll screw you. I screw you out of a great friend. I am a great friend and if your delusions of your crazed sugar plumbs dancing in your Photo by Mike Thomas Visit us at desertdailyguide.com and Like us on Facebook.com/desertdailyguide 47
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Feburary 3, 2016 This week in Gay Palm Springs

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