Feburary 3, 2016 This week in Gay Palm Springs

THAT IS FUNNY
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their
small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You
are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the
second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name,
Penny.” At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,
“Come on, Dick, let’s go.”
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURG-
ER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar
and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive twinks serving drinks. “Can I help
you?” the twink asks. “I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives
the hand jobs?” “Yes,” the twink purrs. “I am.” The man replies, “Well, wash your hands. I
want a cheeseburger.”
If Donald Trump gets elected there’ll be hell toupee.
WEEKLY GUIDE TO THE STARS
ARIES: March 21-April 20:
Two wrongs don’t make a
right. Three wrongs and
you’re testing it. Four wrongs
and it’s five to ten in Chino.
TAURUS: April 21-May 19: If
you see a burning building
and hear odd screams, don’t
go inside. It might be the
Green Goblin! Am I the only
one that remembers the first
Spider-Man?
GEMINI: May 20-June 21:
You’re a big mess. Fix it.
CANCER: June 22-July 22:
I’m not sure if you’ve heard
of this new invention. It’s
called underwear. Put it on!
good Tom Petty song. Running
down a storm drain is
just crazy, guy.
VIRGO: Aug. 23-Sept. 22:
It’s recommended that you
sleep for eight hours a night.
So do that. You’re seriously
cranky too much.
LIBRA: Sept. 23 - Oct. 22: If
time was meant to stop, we’d
all have time-stopping stopwatches!
SCORPIO: Oct. 23 - Nov. 21:
The cowboy is a noble profession.
Wearing the hat and
chaps, wrangling horses. But
you’re a million years old.
Not gonna happen, bub.
because you own a samurai
sword does not make you a
samurai!
CAPRICORN: Dec.21-Jan.
19: I bet you think you’re so
smart. What with your education
and your books. I can
read too, you know!
AQUARIUS: Jan 20-Feb. 18:
“Break a leg” is used instead
of “good luck” for plays for
reasons I’ll never understand.
PISCES: Feb. 19 - March 20:
If you think today is tough,
wait until you go through the
next thirty years of life. Oooh
boy, you’re in for it now.
LEO: July 23-August 22: SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 - Dec.
Running down a dream is a 20: For the last time: just
46 Your weekly LGBT Gay Desert Guide. View our Free Digital Version on-line.