Celebrating The First International Day of Yoga

THE YOGIC LIGHTER SIDE
The Yogi
and the Pizza
The Yogi walked into the Zen Pizza
Parlour and said: “Make me one
with everything.” When the Yogi got
the pizza, he gave the proprietor a
$20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the
bill. The Yogi said, “Don’t I get any
change?” The proprietor said,
“Change must come from within.”
God Versus
Nietzsche
Graffiti on a wall:
“God is dead.”– Nietzsche.
Below that was written:
“Nietzsche is dead.”– God.
Trust in God
A devotee is hiking in the Himalayas. Suddenly he slips and is about
to fall into a ravine but luckily, in the very last moment, he manages
to catch hold of an overhanging rock. While he clings to it, precariously
dangling over the abyss, he feels his strength slowly but steadily
ebbing away. Desperately he looks up to the sky and cries out:
“Is there someone up there?”
Out of the heavens comes a disembodied voice, “Yes my son.”
“Please tell me, what shall I do?” pleads the devotee.
The same Divine Voice booms, “Say a prayer, trust in God and let go!”
After a few moments of silence the devotee looks up to the heavens
again and cries out: “Is there someone else?”
Meditation
Two men meet on the street: “How are you?”
one asks. The other replies: “I’m fine, thanks.”
“And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?”
“Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.”
“Meditating? What’s that?”
“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting
around doing nothing!”
Swami Sivananda’s Heart
A specialist for internal medicine gave Swami Sivananda a thorough
medical examination. At the end of his check-up he said: “You know,
Swamiji, the problem is that you have an enlarged heart”.
Swami Sivananda just smiled and replied “Ah, this is also considered
a disease nowadays!”
Devil
Two boys were walking home
from church after hearing a
strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, “What do
you think about all this Satan
stuff?” The other boy replied,
“Well, you know how Santa
Claus turned out. It’s probably just your dad.”
Business with God
A businessman sat in his car in a sweat
because he had an important meeting and
couldn't find a parking place. Looking up
to heaven he said, “Lord, take pity on me.
If you find me a parking place I will start
to pray every day and donate all my wealth
to charity”. Miraculously, a parking place
appeared. The business man looked up
again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”
Vow of Silence
Four yogis have taken a vow of silence.
They're sitting in the meditation hall when
one of them says out loud: “It is really
nice to be in silence”. Then the second
one says: “Be quiet!” and the third one
says: “You are both talking!”
Then the last one says, proudly: “I am the
only one who has not spoken!”
Begging
At the entrance to a Hindu temple there was a beggar always
stretching out his hand, asking and pleading for alms. One day he
stretched out both of his hands. A passer-by asked him: “All these
days, you were stretching out only one hand – why are you today
stretching out two hands?” To which the beggar replied: “Hari Om!
Praise God! Business was so good that I opened another branch!”
A Prayer for the Day
Dear God, so far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, and
I haven’t lost my temper. I haven’t been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and
I’m really glad of that! But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get
out of bed, and from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot of
help. Thank you! Amen.
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YOGALife |Autumn/Winter 2015