Pat Finken - City Magazine

Business and Communication
Communications:
The 411
By Mike Lindblom
Essential
Boundaries
Recently, I saw a television ad for a new mini-van featuring a
back-seat entertainment system. The ad shows two children with
headphones, gleefully watching cartoons while their mother and
father calmly navigate from the front seat.
Made me think. Today’s technology is so helpful. No more
“Are we there yet” or “Dad! Jimmy’s making faces at me!” Just like
at home, simply throw in a video and let Spongebob Squarepants
do the babysitting!
So I guess it’s not surprising that a Michigan State University
study on children and television found that when 4 and 5 year olds
were given the choice between giving up television or giving up
their fathers, one out of three threw dad under the mini-van!
In most cases, it’s dad’s (and mom’s) fault. In the moment,
we take the easy way out, allowing our children limitless access
to their own individual world of computers, mp3 players and
backseat entertainment centers. In the long run, the sum total
of these moments results in teenagers unfit and unwilling to
communicate with others outside their own circle.
But these communication challenges are not necessarily new.
A Michigan State University study on communication between
teenagers and their parents showed 79 percent of parents thought
they were communicating with their teenagers. Meantime, 81
percent of those teenagers felt parents were not communicating
with them.
When I was young, it was strict policy for us four kids to clean
our rooms, go to bed when told and be at the dinner table every
night. Road trips consisted of the family playing simple games
like “guess how many miles to that tree on the horizon?” or “I
spy.” (Lest you think my family was perfect, I must tell you this all
happened while at least two of us kids sat in the “way-back” of the
station wagon, unbuckled, inhaling exhaust fumes coming from
the open back window.)
Would my parents have purchased today’s mini-van? Perhaps.
But if they did, I know for a fact that limits and boundaries would
still have been imposed and consequences for their violation
would still have been strictly enforced.
A lifelong communicator and former reporter, Michael Lindblom is a student of
dynamics of human interaction.
September 2011 29
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