Loaves & Fishes 27

I had finally decided to let go
of everything and surrender. In
that moment, I had no ego or
pride, and I was totally desperate
for something better.
True to His nature, God heard
my heartfelt pleas and answered
my prayers. He began to perform
what I like to call a modern
day progressive miracle in my
life. Slowly but surely, people
entered and re-entered my life—
people who were instrumental
in guiding me, encouraging me,
supporting me, teaching me,
loving me, and chastising me
as I embarked on this transformational
journey from useless
to useful. God also began to
place me in specific positions of
significance.
In 2000, God took me out of
the supermax, a place people said
I would never leave. Eventually,
He also took me out of disciplinary
segregation. In about six
years, the DOC cut 41 years, 10
months, and 12 days off my segregation
time and returned me
to general population. But before
this could happen, I also had
to do my part, on and off record.
Because I had been transformed
God heard my pleas and
answered my prayers.
in Jesus, I no longer wanted to
be destructive and disruptive.
As I engrossed myself in God’s
Word and surrounded myself
with constructive, positive, and
purposeful things and people, I
was no longer drawn to the old
allurements. It was a gradual,
incremental shift, but it was
thorough.
My transformation was not
easy. The devil is real, and the
war being waged for our souls
is also real. I was constantly
tempted, ridiculed, criticized,
threatened, challenged, and attacked,
but with the help of the
Lord, I remained steadfast and
resolute through it all. I wanted
to prove my faithfulness not
only to God, but also to myself.
While I was a gang-banging
parasite, I was wholly commit-
26 | Loaves & Fishes • Issue 27