Loaves & Fishes 27

Testimony of
Patrice Daniels
Pontiac Correctional Center, Pontiac, IL
Peace and blessings to all of
you. I pray this finds you all
clinging firmly to the promises
of God. I’m a 38-year-old black
man originally from Chicago,
serving life without parole for
a brutal and senseless gangrelated
homicide. I have been in
prison since June 1994. Unfortunately,
I am guilty as charged,
and it’s the single most glaring
regret in my life. I had no right
to do what I did.
Typical of an angry, lost, hurting,
mentally ill young prisoner
with a boatload of time, the first
six and half years of my prison
term was spent wasting time.
In fact, from December of 1995
through April 2006, I was in
continual disciplinary segregation.
I spent my entire twenties
in lock-down. I was arguably one
of the most problematic prisoners
in the state of Illinois from
the years 1998–1999. When the
now-closed supermax facility
in Tamms, IL opened in March
1998, I was a part of the first
shipment there. Staff assaults,
inmate assaults, weapon violations,
arsons, exhibitionism, and
property destruction were all a
part of my narrative. In fact, by
March 2000 I had accumulated
48 years of disciplinary segregation
time. I was completely
out of control, and I was both
homicidal and suicidal.
Yet, here I am today, saved,
redeemed, and restored. I can attribute
this to nobody but God!
In March of 2000, I literally got
sick and tired of being sick and
tired. I didn’t know the whys
or the hows at the time, but I
just knew I wanted something
different from what I’d been
getting out of life. So I called out
to God in that dark, dank cell as
I lay there on that cold concrete
slab. I remember thinking, then
saying: “God, my life is a mess.
I need you to help me. Lord,
I know we haven’t talked in a
long time, but I admit that I’m
a sinner. I’m so sorry—I’m so
lost—I’m so alone. I need you,
God. Show me the way. Please
help me, Lord.”
Loaves & Fishes • Issue 27 | 25