Second Fire at Lombard

November 18, 2015 Palisades News Page 21
Remodeled Clifton’s Introduces Cafeteria Noir
By BOB VICKREY
Special to the Palisades News
Remember that disorienting feeling
as a kid when you came out of a
dark movie theater after the Saturday
matinee and made the difficult adjustment
to the harsh afternoon sunlight?
That was the same bewildering feeling
our monthly lunch group had recently as
we emerged from the dark labyrinth of
mysterious corridors in the newly refurbished
Clifton’s Cafeteria in downtown
Los Angeles.
If there’s such a thing as cafeteria noir, the
owners have certainly succeeded in creating
the definitive dream-like dining experience.
Surely, surrealistic filmmaker David Lynch
had some input into the set decoration
here. And I’m guessing that the ghost of
Vincent Price provided the inspiration for
the eerie lighting throughout the place.
Our group had decided that we were ready
for a dramatic change of pace for our October
outing, so when we heard that Clifton’s
was reopening under new ownership, we
quickly put it atop our monthly destinations.
When you think of famous Los Angeles
restaurants, the first places that likely come
to mind are Musso & Frank’s, Chasen’s,
Perino’s, Lawry’s and the Brown Derby.
Somehow, Clifton’s Cafeteria doesn’t quite
fit with that elegant group, but in many
ways it deserves mention when listing the
most enduring names in Southern California’s
rich dining history.
Clifton’s downtown location opened in
1932, and once served as many as 15,000
meals a day to eager Angeleno diners. When
it closed its doors five years ago for a major
makeover by new owner Andrew Meieran,
it was still serving up to 1,500 meals a day.
Ten million dollars’ worth of renovations
The new interior at Clifton’s Cafeteria.
later and it’s not quite clear whether
Meieran has reopened a cafeteria or created
an amusement park.
The new Clifton’s is five stories of pure
wonder, including a cafeteria, restaurants,
and bars—all surrounding a four-story
(fake) redwood tree located in the middle
of the building. The main cafeteria is on the
first floor. There is a craft beer bar on the
second, a special events center and another
bar on the third, as well as plans for a finedining
restaurant and a Pacific Seas Tiki
lounge on the fourth. Coming in future
months are the Brookdale Ballroom and
Shadowbox Bar, located in the basement.
We quickly realized that Clifton’s was definitely
not your father’s cafeteria.
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Each floor features various curiosities
like wall murals of California nature and
dioramas of stuffed animals that are showcased
throughout the building. There are
even fossilized dinosaur eggs embedded in
the floor of one bar. Can a Jurassic Park ride
be far behind?
Despite the novelty and glitz of the new
place, our pal Arnie had one single
purpose in coming, and that was to find the
Jell-O. Some childhood memories are indeli -
ble, and to him, Jell-O was synonymous with
Clifton’s Cafeteria. Now I don’t have any personal
grudge against Jell-O—except lime, of
course—but that green quivering gelatinous
mass brought back unpleasant memories of
the four-year hostage crisis, better known
as the high school cafeteria experience.
We had heard about the huge crowds
that were arriving daily after the reopening,
and Barry reminded us that we were in
danger of living out the late Yogi Berra’s famous
saying, “Nobody goes there anymore.
It’s too crowded.”
Fortunately, the line that day seemed to
be one we could tolerate, although we had
no idea exactly where that line was headed.
When we finally came through the dark
corridor to a clearing, we discovered there
were “food stations” instead of the traditional
single lines for service. The circular
stations were arranged in such a way that
it was necessary to visit each one in order
to find what choices were available.
The staff members at Clifton’s were attentive
and helpful as they came to the aid
of the many zombie-like customers wandering
aimlessly between the food stations
with empty trays who appeared to be search -
ing for something to eat—or perhaps looking
for the exit.
I occasionally spotted members of my
own group who looked like lost children in
search of their mother. We convened at the
drink counter and devised a meeting plan
on the other side of the pay station.
When we finally arrived at our table with
the help of our “tour guide,” we all chuckled
about our exasperating adventure as we
stared down at our now-cold food. It had
taken so long to figure out the system, we
were all exhausted and agreed that we probably
needed a nap more than our lunch.
When we left the building, I noticed that
the doorman had an uncanny resemblance
to the late actor Dennis Hopper. I may have
been right all along in thinking that we had
inadvertently stumbled onto the set of a
new David Lynch film. I became convinced
that we had been unknowing walk-ons
who had been duped into thinking that this
was a real cafeteria. Now this whole experience
was beginning to make perfect sense.
Bob Vickrey is a longtime Palisadian. He
writes for several Southwestern newspapers
including the Houston Chronicle. He is a
member of the Board of Contributors for
the Waco Tribune-Herald and a regular
contributor for the Boryana Books website.
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Photo: Mel Melcon, Los Angeles Times