and from the inside in

I flinch at the use of the term.
“No, no,” I say, stepping back and looking at his dark and beautiful face. I reach up and run my fingers through his
black-wiry hair. “Nothing like that, I just got a chill that’s all.”
“In this heat?” he asks, narrowing his eyes like arrow slits. “Really Charlie, you’ve got to leave her behind. It’s not healthy.”
He turns away and takes a swig from his water bottle, which he’d looped around his little finger. I could tell he was
annoyed.
“I have left her behind,” I reply. “I haven’t thought of her in ages. The last time was, oh, I don’t even remember—”
“Last night Charlie,” he interrupts. “You were calling out her name and reciting some weird Bible stuff in your sleep.”
I feel the familiar red creep up my neck and colour my face. The heat from the blazing sun is complicit in my
embarrassment.
“Charlie, there’s nothing wrong with having demons,” he says. “You’re twenty one, still young and healthy. You’ll bounce
back. But you need to face them.”
“This is not wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic, James 3:15,” she says.
“I don’t have demons! Why would I have demons? I do not have demons, Ali! I’m perfectly fine!”
I step back through the balcony doors and into the coolness of the air-conditioned bedroom. The perspiration on my
back immediately turns into a wet patch and I feel the icy floor against the palms of my feet.
Ali remains on the balcony, over-looking the forestry in front of him. I watch him exhale and drop his head low so it
hangs over the balcony edge.
“The demons begged Jesus, ‘If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs’, Matthew 8:31,” the voice says.
“Just leave me alone mother! You’re not real. You’re up here!” I shout, pointing to my head.
“Will you send your demons to the pigs Charlotte?” she says.
“Stop haunting me! You’re dead,” I cry.
“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs, Corinthians 7:34,” she says. “But you are concerned
only with the earthly needs of your desires.”
23