The Meme Machine

SEX IN THE MODERN WORLD 143
have and nurture children, and that these desires outweigh the obvious point that
an adopted child will not pass on their genes. In other words, from the gene’s
point of view adoption is just a mistake. However, it is an extremely expensive
mistake. It means devoting vast amounts of time and money for no genetic
reward at all. It is just the kind of mistake that is made by the bird who is
tricked into bringing up a baby cuckoo, or a man who is ‘cuckolded’ – and we
have already seen how far biological evolution has gone in devising strategies to
avoid this happening – and what pressures men have put on women to ensure
their own paternity. Genetically, infertile people would do better to help their
siblings and their siblings’ children. Some do just that, but the long queues of
people now waiting to adopt suggest there is something going on here that
challenges the sociobiological view.
Looked at from the meme’s point of view, the benefits of adoption are
obvious. As far as memes are concerned, the time and effort expended on an
adopted child are exactly as valuable as that expended on one’s own offspring.
There are many kinds of meme which parents pass down vertically to their
children. The ones that are successful in getting spread this way (and are
common in the meme pool) are those that people want to pass on. These include
not only religious and political views, social mores, and ethical standards (in any
case some children reject these entirely), but all the possessions that go with
living in a meme-rich society. Memes are ultimately responsible for us having
our homes and possessions, our position in society, and our stocks, shares and
money. None of these things would exist without a meme-based society and
these are the things we work hard for and want to leave to someone we care
about when we die.
If we ask someone why they want to adopt a child we should not expect them
to say ‘to pass on my memes’, any more than if we ask someone why they enjoy
sex we would expect them to say ‘to pass on my genes’. Nevertheless, from the
meme’s eye view a person’s desire to pass on their experience and possessions is
an opportunity to be exploited. Thus, we should expect that in species without
memes, individuals will do all they can to avoid bringing up non-relatives, but in
a species with both memes and genes, some individuals will find themselves
wanting a child whether or not it is biologically their own. Adoption, birth
control and celibacy may be mistakes for the genes, but they are not so for the
memes.
The memes can take over sexual behaviour in many other ways too. Sex means
intimacy, and intimacy means sharing memes. Many a spy has lured a