Read the workshop document - No To Violence

Working with young people who
use violence in the family and/or
in intimate relationships
Mario Pozega
Meridian Youth & Family Services
Anglicare Victoria
7-11 Shipley St, Box Hill, 3128
PH: 9896 6322
Email: mario.pozega@anglicarevic.org.au

Meridian Youth & Family Services
An adolescent counselling service with a
strong emphasis on systemic practice.
With a particular interest in the area of
adolescent violence in the home.
And the related areas of multigenerational
patterns of abuse and the
impact of trauma.

Working with adolescent violence
A clear stance of non-violence.
Safety is the priority.
Looking at the whole.
Relationship is important.
Parallel process.
Change is possible.

Engaging & Building Relationship
Various referral points. Often the result
of previous family work.
Slowing down the process for young
person….. and ourselves!
Encouraging long-term work.
Making space for the young person’s
story. The story provides context to the
violence.

Listening for..
Violence as an organising principle.
Protest.
Exceptions.
Beliefs and values.
Experiences of love and
connection.

Humberto Maturana
‘This act is called love, or, if we prefer a milder
expression, the acceptance of the other person
beside us in our daily living. This is the
biological foundation of social phenomena:
without love, without acceptance of others
living beside us, there is no social process and,
therefore, no humanness.’
Maturana, H.R., Varela, F.J. (1987) The Tree of Knowledge.
Boston; New Science Library 9p. 246)

Looking into the future
What else is happening in the young
persons life?
What kind of adult do they want to be?
What kind of relationship do they want
with their family and others?
How do they want others to see them?
Thickening the alternate narrative.

By hearing the story..
Modeling mutually respectful
relationship.
Serves as a soother for young person.
Teaching young person to use language
to express emotion.
Building trust.
Can challenge violence more effectively.

By hearing the story..
Using their picture of themselves in
the future to begin to address the
violence.
Assisting young person to begin
building a case for non-violence.
Provides points of entry for the
worker.

Conversations about violence
Violence is usually in total contrast to
what they are wanting.
Find that violence usually makes it
worse.
Do they want to find different ways of
handling things rather than using
violence?
Means that young people have to
confront their own fears and discomfort.

Conversations about violence
How do you think your use of violence effects your
relationships with parents/siblings/partner?
Is violence what you want to stand for?
What will happen if you continue using violence?
How motivated are you to work at not using
violence? What is motivating you?
If someone noticed you having more control what
would they see you doing differently?
What do you think you would notice about
yourself?

Where does their power lie?
Despite appearing powerful, many
young people feel powerless.
Are they using their power wisely?
Often the only power young people have
is to focus on their own future picture of
themselves.

Building and managing
family/intimate relationships
Both/and approach. Attending to
violence and relationship.
What can they do to promote better
relationships?
Although, sadly, many times promoting
relationship is not always possible or
appropriate.
Safety is the priority.

Languaging
Studies linking learning difficulties and
violence.
Assisting young person to find a voice
that doesn’t include violence.
Assisting young person to notice
feelings and putting into language.
Use of metaphors and analogies.
Scaling.

Self soothing
Often starting at very basic level.
Often never been taught.
Routine is important.
Shifting focus from others changing to self.
Linking to values and preferred manner of
living.
Despite sounding simple to us, this is
challenging for young people.

Best interests framework
Five C’s:
Context
Circularity
Constraints
Connectedness
Curiosity
Considering culture as a sixth?

For workers
Own Safety.
Naming violence.
Addressing own fears.
Tracking rather than jumping.
Seeking support and team.
Thank you!