Lincoln, the unknown

LINCOLN THE UNKNOWN• 63As the late Dr. William E. Barton says in his well-knownbiography of Lincoln, this letter "can mean nothing else thanthat Abraham Lincoln was mentally distraught . . . that he hadgrave fears for his own sanity."He thought constantly of death, now, and longed for it andwrote a poem on suicide and had it published in the "SangamoJournal."Speed feared that he was going to die; so Lincoln was takento the home of Speed's mother, near Louisville. Here he wasgiven a Bible and assigned a quiet bedroom looking out overa brook meandering through meadows to the forest a mile away.Each morning a slave brought Lincoln his coffee in bed.Mrs. Edwards, Mary's sister, says that Mary, "to set herselfright and to free Mr. Lincoln's mind, wrote a letter to Mr. Lincoln,stating that she would release him from his engagement."But in releasing him, according to Mr. Edwards, "she leftLincoln the privilege of renewing it if he wished."But that was the last thing in the world that he wished. Henever wanted to see her again. Even a year after Lincoln hadfled from his wedding, his good friend James Matheny "thoughtLincoln would commit suicide."For almost two years after the "fatal first of January," 1841,Lincoln ignored Mary Todd completely, hoping that she wouldforget him, praying that she would interest herself in some otherman. But she did not, for her pride was at stake, her preciousself-respect. She was determined to prove to herself and to thosewho had scorned and pitied her that she could and would marryAbraham Lincoln.And he was equally determined not to marry her.In fact, he was so determined that he proposed within a yearto another girl. He was thirty-two at the time, the girl he proposedto was half that age. She was Sarah Rickard, the littlesister of Mrs. Butler, at whose house Lincoln had been boardingfor four years.Lincoln pleaded his case with her, arguing that since his namewas Abraham and hers Sarah it was evident that they weremeant for one another.But she refused him, because, as she later confessed in writingto a friend:I was young, only sixteen years old and I had notthought much about matrimony. ... I airway liked him as