Lincoln, the unknown

58•LINCOLN THE UNKNOWNI've never been to church yet, and probably shall not besoon. I stay away because I am conscious I should notknow how to behave myself. I am often thinking of whatwe said of your coming to live at Springfield. I am afraidyou would not be satisfied. There is a great deal of flourishingabout in carriages here, which it would be your doomto see without sharing in it. You would have to be poor withoutthe means of hiding your poverty. Do you believe youcould bear that patiently? Whatever woman may cast herlot with mine, should anyone ever do so, it is my intentionto do all in my power to make her happy and contented,and there is nothing I can imagine that would make memore unhappy than to fail in the effort. I know I should bemuch happier with you than the way I am, provided I sawno signs of discontent in you.What you have said to me may have been in jest or Imay have misunderstood it. If so, then let it be forgotten;if otherwise I much wish you would think seriously beforeyou decide. For my part I have already decided. What Ihave said I will most positively abide by, provided youwish it. My opinion is you had better not do it. You havenot been accustomed to hardship, and it may be more severethan you imagine. I know you are capable of thinkingcorrectly on any subject; and if you deliberate maturelyupon this before you decide, then I am willing to abideyour decision.You must write me a good long letter after you get this.You have nothing else to do, and though it might not seeminteresting to you after you have written it, it would be agood deal of company in this busy wilderness. Tell yoursister I don't want to hear any more about selling out andmoving. That gives me the hypo whenever I think of it.Yours, etc.Lincoln.So much for Lincoln's affair with Mary Owens. To return tohis affair with Mary Todd: Speed tossed into the fire the letterwhich Lincoln had written to Miss Todd, and, turning to hisfriend and room-mate, said:"Now, if you have the courage of manhood, go see Maryyourself; tell her, if you do not love her, the facts, and that you