LERNERT ENGELBERTS Real Bad People - De Harmonie

The SurfboardI promise this isn’t going to be a story about me feeling sorry for myself because I’mbeing picked on by a gang of boys in my class. Even before my family moved to thisshitty little seaside town, I knew that one of us was going to get all of the hassle. See,my brother Kevin’s just like me – keeps himself to himself, a bit of a dreamer. Histeachers are always catching him daydreaming out of the window and telling him topay attention. But he’s four years older than me and he gets respect from people outon the football pitch with his broad shoulders and his hairy legs, which Mum says isthe only inheritance from her Jewish-Italian parents. Kevin would give someone asmack in the face if they looked like trouble. And as for my sister Claire, she’s tooeasy a target. She always makes people come over all soft and mushy, just like ababy. I mean, no person with Down’s Syndrome has ever born with the ability to pisspeople off as much as I did that bunch at school.It all began when I found a plank in the back garden. We’d only been living inDorwood for a few months, so I didn’t have a clue about the garden and what it mightbe hiding. The redbrick house that Dad had bought was tiny but incredibly old, and ithad a proper country garden, which no one else in the family was particularlybothered about. It was loads better than that nasty, damp flat in Aberdeen, where amouse would come scampering out of the cupboard every time you fetched a glass.Our move had come as a complete surprise. Dad appeared in our bedroomsone morning and told us to pack everything as quickly as we could. It was as thoughwe were on the run. We just left behind anything that didn’t fit into Dad’s van, whichwas a real pain, because the old sofa in the living room was great for lying on, eventhough the leather stuck to your bum whenever you were watching an exciting film.