Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Roundabout Papersmight have fought bravely and not won. We might havecast the coin, calling, ‘Head,’ and lo! Tail might havecome uppermost.” O thou Ruler of Victories!—thouAwarder of Fame!—thou Giver of Crowns (and shillings)—ifthou hast smiled upon us, shall we not bethankful? There is a Saturnine philosopher, standing atthe door of his book-shop, who, I fancy, has a poohpoohexpression as the triumph passes. (I can’t see quiteclearly for the laurels, which have fallen down over mynose.) One hand is reining in the two white elephantsthat draw the car; I raise the other hand up to—to thelaurels, and pass on, waving him a graceful recognition.Up the Hill of Ludgate—around the PaulineSquare—by the side of Chepe—until it reaches our ownHill of Corn—the procession passes. The Imperator isbowing to the people; the captains of the legions areriding round the car, their gallant minds struck by thethought, “Have we not fought as well as yonder fellow,swaggering in the chariot, and are we not as good ashe?” Granted, with all my heart, my dear lads. Whenyour consulship arrives, may you be as fortunate. Whenthese hands, now growing old, shall lay down swordand truncheon, may you mount the car, and ride to thetemple of Jupiter. Be yours the laurel then. Neque memyrtus dedecet, looking cosily down from the arborwhere I sit under the arched vine.I fancy the Imperator standing on the steps of thetemple (erected by Titus) on the Mons Frumentarius,and addressing the citizens: “Quirites!” he says, “in ourcampaign of six months, we have been engaged six times,and in each action have taken near upon a hundredthousand prisoners. Go to! What are other magazinescompared to our magazine? (Sound, trumpeter!) Whatbanner is there like that of Cornhill? You, philosopheryonder!” (he shirks under his mantle.) “Do you knowwhat it is to have a hundred and ten thousand readers?A hundred thousand readers? a hundred thousand buyers!”(Cries of “No!”—”Pooh!” “Yes, upon my honor!”“Oh, come!” and murmurs of applause and derision)—”I say more than a hundred thousand purchasers—andI believe as much as a million readers!” (Immense sensation.)“To these have we said an unkind word? We38