Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

no doubt, have claimed the Grand Cross. Mr. Gibbonwould not have been eligible, on account of his dangerousfreethinking opinions; and her sex, as well as herrepublican sentiments, might have interfered with theknighthood of the immortal Mrs. Catharine Macaulay.How Goldsmith would have paraded the ribbon at MadameCornelys’s, or the Academy dinner! How PeterPindar would have railed at it! Fifty years later, thenoble Scott would have worn the Grand Cross and deservedit; but Gifford would have had it; and Byron, andShelley, and Hazlitt, and Hunt would have been withoutit; and had Keats been proposed as officer, how theTory prints would have yelled with rage and scorn! Hadthe star of Minerva lasted to our present time—but Ipause, not because the idea is dazzling, but too awful.Fancy the claimants, and the row about their precedence!Which philosopher shall have the grand cordon?—whichthe collar?—which the little scrap no biggerthan a buttercup? Of the historians—A, say,—andC, and F, and G, and S, and T,—which shall be Companionand which Grand Owl? Of the poets, who wears, orRoundabout Papers22claims, the largest and brightest star? Of the novelists,there is A, and B and C D; and E (star of first magnitude,newly discovered), and F (a magazine of wit), and fairG, and H, and I, and brave old J, and charming K, and L,and M, and N, and O (fair twinklers), and I am puzzledbetween three P’s—Peacock, Miss Pardoe, and Paul Pry—and Queechy, and R, and S, and T, mere et fils, and verylikely U, O gentle reader, for who has not written hisnovel now-a-days?—who has not a claim to the starand straw-colored ribbon?—and who shall have the biggestand largest? Fancy the struggle! Fancy the squabble!Fancy the distribution of prizes!Who shall decide on them? Shall it be the sovereign?shall it be the Minister for the time being? and has LordPalmerston made a deep study of novels? In this matterthe late Ministry,* to be sure, was better qualified; buteven then, grumblers who had not got their canary cordons,would have hinted at professional jealousies enteringthe Cabinet; and, the ribbons being awarded, Jackwould have scowled at his because Dick had a broader* That of Lord Derby, in 1859, which included Mr. Disraeli andSir Edward Bulwer Lytton.