Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com

CHAPTER 5. DON’T BE IDIOT BUDDHAS”Well,” explains Snuffit, ”they are the only things we can fit under the door!”There is a hell of an argument going on in the bar of the Howling Haggis Hotel.At one end of the bar are sitting Paddy Murphy and Seamus O’Reilly. And standing at the other endof the bar are Hamish MacTavish and Sandy MacPherson.”I tell you,” shouts Paddy, ”that Irish whiskey is the strongest stuff you will ever drink!””That’s not true!” roars back Hamish MacTavish, pounding on the bar.”Everyone knows that Scotch whiskey is the real drink!”Just then, an American tourist and his wife come over to the bar from their table in the corner.”I want to tell you all,” says the American, ”that I think that Irish whiskey is the real dynamite. Lastweek, my wife and I drank a whole bottle of Irish whiskey, got up the next morning and went tochurch for the early morning mass.””What is so unusual about that?” asks Hamish, trying to be polite. ”Lots of people drink a bottle ofwhiskey and get up the next day to go to church.””Yes, I know,” says the American, ”but we are Jewish!”Pussy Green comes to Father Fumble for her confession.”Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” mumbles Pussy.”How have you sinned?” asks Father Fumble.”Well,” continues Pussy, softly, ”I have sinned with my boyfriend.”Fumble presses his ear against the partition and says, ”Speak up, my child. SPEAK LOUDER!”Pussy clears her throat and carries on.”Last night,” she says, ”my boyfriend and I went to the pub, and afterwards I brought him home.””Carry on, my child. Carry on,” urges Fumble, beginning to perspire.”We sat on the sofa,” says Pussy, ”and he unbuttoned my blouse.””And then?” says the priest, wiping the sweat from his hands.”Then he unhooked my bra,” continues Pussy, ”and fondled my breasts.””And then? And then?” gasps Fumble, removing his steamed-up spectacles.Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho’s Haikus 86 Osho