Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com
Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com
CHAPTER 4. LIE DOWN AND WITNESS”Okay,” says Hamish. ”My second wish is for a hundred beautiful women to look after me.””Granted,” says Dagon. ”But Paddy gets two hundred.””Okay,” says Hamish. ”And for my third wish, I would like you to painlessly remove one of my balls!”Fading American president, Ronald Reagan, and his pal, Pope the Polack, are sunbathing on thebeach in the south of France. Suddenly, a beautiful looking girl strolls by and winks at the Polackpope.Nervously, the Polack turns to Ronald for advice.”What should I do?” asks the pope.”Quick,” says Ronnie, his eyes twitching, ”wink back!”So Pope the Polack winks back.Then the girl winks again, and smiles a big grin at the Polack.”Jesus Christ!” exclaims the pope, sitting straight up. ”Now what do I do?””Quick, you idiot,” cries the ancient president, ”wink and smile back at her!”So Pope the Polack winks and smiles.At this, the girl slowly removes her bikini top, and then seductively takes off her panties, droppingthem in the sand.”Wow!” slobbers the pope. ”What in God’s name do I do now?”Ronald is shaking with excitement and he says, ”Hey, man, just show her your nuts!””What?” cries the Polack pope, frantically searching his pocket. ”I’ve eaten all my nuts!”Ed, the Oregonian rancher, drives into Fossil to buy a new tractor, and wants to get a present forMabel, his wife.Very nervous, he goes along to the lingerie shop and walks up to the pretty salesgirl.”Can I help you, sir?” asks the girl.Ed points to a bra on a dummy, blushes, and stammers, ”I wanna buy one of those things.””Certainly, sir,” replies the girl. ”What size?””Size?” gasps Ed. ”Ah! My God! I don’t know!”Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho’s Haikus 72 Osho
CHAPTER 4. LIE DOWN AND WITNESS”Well,” says the girl, helpfully, ”are they like coconuts?””Oh no!” replies Ed.”Well then, are they like grapefruits?” she asks.”No, not at all,” replies Ed.”Oranges then,” suggests the girl.”No,” replies Ed.”Lemons?” she asks.”Lemons?” repeats Ed. ”Ah, no!””Well then, how about eggs,” suggests the girl.”Eggs... yes, eggs!” says Ed, confidently – ”fried eggs!”Okay, Maneesha?Yes, Osho.Can we celebrate?Yes, Osho!Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho’s Haikus 73 Osho
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CHAPTER 4. LIE DOWN AND WITNESS”Well,” says the girl, helpfully, ”are they like coconuts?””Oh no!” replies Ed.”Well then, are they like grapefruits?” she asks.”No, not at all,” replies Ed.”Oranges then,” suggests the girl.”No,” replies Ed.”Lemons?” she asks.”Lemons?” repeats Ed. ”Ah, no!””Well then, how about eggs,” suggests the girl.”Eggs... yes, eggs!” says Ed, confidently – ”fried eggs!”Okay, Maneesha?Yes, Osho.Can we celebrate?Yes, Osho!<strong>Hyakujo</strong>: <strong>The</strong> <strong>Everest</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Zen</strong>, <strong>with</strong> Basho’s <strong>Haikus</strong> 73 Osho
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