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Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com

Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com

Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com

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CHAPTER 1. THE LANGUAGE OF SUDDENNESS”I’ll say he has surprised Buttercup!” shouts Sean. ”He is screwing Daisy again!”Paddy has been training his horse, Kalki, for the big race. He has been giving it lots <strong>of</strong> exerciseand plenty <strong>of</strong> good food, but on the day <strong>of</strong> the race, Paddy is still worried that Kalki will not run fastenough.Just before the horses go to the start, Paddy quietly gives Kalki a couple <strong>of</strong> pep pills. Father Murphy,who has been watching this, goes up to Paddy.”I hope you are not giving your horse any illegal drugs?” says the old priest.”Certainly not, Father, I was just giving him a vitamin C,” says Paddy, popping one <strong>of</strong> the pills into hisown mouth. ”Here, try one yourself.”Father Murphy swallows one <strong>of</strong> the pep pills, thinking that it is a vitamin, and walks <strong>of</strong>f, apparentlysatisfied.Paddy turns to Seamus, who is going to ride Kalki in the race.”Don’t worry, Seamus, you are going to win for sure!” says Paddy, confidently. ”Nothing can passyou in this race, except me or Father Murphy!”George Grope is fifty years old, and has spent the best years <strong>of</strong> his life <strong>with</strong> a woman whose constantnagging and criticism has driven him mad.Now, in poor health, and <strong>with</strong> his business on the verge <strong>of</strong> collapse, he makes up his mind. He goesto the dining room, gets up on a chair, fastens his tie around the chandelier, and is just about to endit all. At that moment his wife enters the room.”George!” she cries in shock at the scene before her. ”You idiot! That is your best tie!”Chester Cheese is walking through the forest one day, <strong>with</strong> his teenage kid, Charlie.<strong>The</strong>y are enjoying the stroll very much, when suddenly Charlie sees a pair <strong>of</strong> black satin pantieslying on the path.”Hey, Dad,” exclaims Charlie. ”Look! A young girl’s panties!””Well, son,” says Chester, in a fatherly voice. ”I’d say those probably belong to an older woman, nota young girl.””Come on, Dad, ” replies Charlie. ”For sure these are a young girl’s panties!””I don’t think so, Charlie,” says Chester, stiffly.Just then Father Finger walks up.”Excuse me, gentlemen,” he says. ”But I couldn’t help overhearing your discussion. Perhaps I cansettle the matter for you.”<strong>Hyakujo</strong>: <strong>The</strong> <strong>Everest</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Zen</strong>, <strong>with</strong> Basho’s <strong>Haikus</strong> 13 Osho

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